My life, Her life, Their lives.

Chpt 15: I can't take it... (Pov Ana)

I walked down the stairs and into the living room taking a deep breath before finally walking into the kitchen. Everyone was there staring at me with pity, god I hated pity. I didn't want to be felt sorry for, I never had wanted to feel sorry for. The room was silent, all you could hear was the light breathing of everyone in the room, I looked to each individual giving them a small smile of reassurance. "I can do this." I reminded myself and looked into Taylor's eyes last. Taylor... Taylor. I ruined her engagement night. My best friend was getting married and all she was thinking about right now was me, me and that god for nothing drunk of my boyfriend, or what was left of him and our relationship. tears began forming in my eyes I tried smiling as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I let out a small weak laugh before covering my face with my hands and bursting into tears again. I couldn't count how many times I had cried that night, I was embarrassed but ironically that made me cry more. Taylor ran to me and enveloped me in a warm loving hug pushing Shawn to the side holding me as I pathetically sob. "aw cookie" she said, I could hear the emotion in her voice, it wasn't the same pity as the others, she felt genuinely upset for me. That only made me feel worse. I pressed my face into her shoulder and sobbed harder Taylor stoked my hair trying to comfort me as much as she can. "I..I..I'm so sorrryyyyyy" I managed to say as I lifted my head from her shoulder and stared at her. I couldn't say anything to express how sorry I really was, and even if I knew what to say, I couldn't without chocking on tears. Shawn ,Sam and Alex left me and Taylor alone awkwardly and sadly walking out of the room. "I'm...So so sorry he.. him... I" "shh its ok cookie , you did nothing wrong , you did absolutely nothing" She said stroking my hair and looking at me in a caring and lovingly way "when Cam sobers up ill get one of the boys or even me to talk to him. everything be fine and you will be okay." I wiped off my tears with the back of hand leaving a black smudge of makeup behind it and on my hand. "You don't have to do that It's ok." I sniffed looking down and holding my breath to try and calm myself. Lifting up my face with her hand Taylor gave me a small smile "aw cookie, you still have that make up on." She laughed lightly and wiped off the black off my cheek with a spare napkin. I hugged her tightly again and smiled. "Thank you ."

I walked to the coffee maker and place one of the small cups in and press start. "I bet Kim kardashian doesn't deal with a crazy boyfriend" I smile "so maybe I'm Kourtney." "oh please" Taylor laughed. She leaned on the kitchen island "she was married for 75 days" We both laughed as she passed me the cups "Literally you're being so rude right now with your comment" I giggle and wipe some left over tears. "not as rude as her sex tape" We froze as soon as she said that. Neither of us said anything, we just looked at each other. I cracked a small smile before bursting into a fit of laughter with her to the point I could barley breathe. "The.. The coffee." Taylor laughed and I stumbled towards the door frame "ANYBODY WANT COFFEE?!" I yell to the living room tying not to laugh again. The rest of the guys came in and they each give me a hug and sat onto the bar stools. Everyone except for Alex. Alex made his way to the coffee maker and stared at it in disgust "Coffee? Ewie" he said while he makes a face. "Fridge milkshake." I say As he opened the fridge and grabs chocolate milkshake flavored to go drink. "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard damn right its better than yours" he started to dance around shaking his small hips in circles, Taylor let out a small scream and danced her way to Shawn shaking her hips and smiling "Ugh You guys are too much for me." I laughed pretending to be embarrassed covering my face with my hands.

I danced my way towards Taylor and we both started jumping around dancing shakira style. "sometimes our friends are really weird" shawn said to The rest of the group as they awkwardly sat looking at Taylor and me dancing in the middle of the kitchen. "And sometimes yours are very drunk." I smiled and stop dancing, walking to the counter and handing Shawn a cup of black hot coffee. "Bring him this please." "He hates it black.." Shawn  handed it back to me and grabbed some cream for Cams coffee. "Yes I know but it will do." I say pushing his hands back towards him and taking the carton. Taylor looked to Shawn and rubbed a bit of dirt off his face. "It's better for hangovers, listen to her." Shawn might defend Cameron and be hell of a best friend but no way could he ague his way through me and Taylor. "Fine." Shawn took the mug and placed it next to his. The guys started to talk about when to bring it to Cameron and if he would need something more. I saw my opportunity and tugged on Taylor's hand. "Hey cookie" I whispered and lead her to the next room " I wrote this in the car please give this to Shawn. Tell him to give to Cameron when he wakes up." I say and handed her a small note waiting for her to finish reading it. "Please get help. For you, for me, for everyone. Im taking all my stuff and moving out until then. goodbye Cameron. Xx Ana" "cookie" Taylor looked at me with wide eyes then frowned "No Don't say anything." I looked back at her and held her hand around the note. "Fine...hey Shawn" Taylor walked to him to hand him the note. "Thank you" I mouthed. I said goodnight to everyone and thanked  Shawn again for taking care of Cameron. "please call me when you get to my house" Taylor handed me her keys. I had a spare to hers already. "Sure. Thank you." I said and excused myself so I could run upstairs to my room and grab some things. When I walked in cam was more passed out than anything else. I pulled out some clothes for him and laid them out for when he wakes up. It would make things easier for him making him less of a pain to Shawn. Grabbing my own clothes from the floor , I walk to the bathroom and turn on the lights. I began to change out of his clothes and put my old clothes on. Carefully I walked out and back downstairs.

"Thanks for everything guys." I said walking to the door, I blew a kiss to everyone. I stepped outside and headed to my car parked in the driveway. I received a text from Taylor "get some sleep, me and Shawn will be over in a while, if he ever wants to leave that is. xx" Shawn probably wouldnt leave Cameron alone. Or at least not for long periods of time. But if Taylor convinces him to I don't want them to come home to me. They have done enough for me already. It's their engagement night for god sakes. I walk back to the front door and leave my spare key on the door mat. "I'm going to a hotel" I decide "I want to be alone anyways." I get back into my car and drive away. I drove around aimlessly, I didn't know where to go I wonder through the night streets until I bump into a old run down motel. Perfect. I step out and locked my car. I walk inside; you could tell the place was old, The wall paper was peeling and the colour was faded, The floor was half covered in a thick red rug and the room smelt stale and humid. I walked up to the Wooden desk. The desk was scratched and chipping with small stains everywhere. There was no bell so I knocked lightly on the wood. "Excuse me." A short fat woman in a bright green shirt and orange pants walked up to the counter. Her makeup was more like an art piece. Her eye shadow or what was left of it was orange and blue with small specks of green. Her lips where bright pink with a maroon outline and her cheeks were so flushed it almost seemed neon. I paid for my room and walked down an equally sketchy looking hallway. "miss !" I heard the woman yell at me. "excuse me miss !!" "Ye..yes. Is there a problem?" I asked turning around as she wobbled towards me quickly. "You dropped this on your way in." She said handing me a ball of fabric. it was one of Cameron's shirts. "You can throw it out..." I say handing it back to her. "Okay." She began to stumble away again. God why did it hurt me so much to do that. "I hate you Ana" I thought I myself and ran after the woman. "No, Wait.. I changed my mind could I please have it." The woman gave me a smile and handed me the shirt. "Thank you" I mumbled and walked back down towards my room. I laughed to myself sarcastically. "You just won't leave me alone will you." I said to the shirt and threw it inside. Myself pity was thankfully broken by the chime of my cell phone "everything alright cookie? Xx" I began to text Taylor back But I knew her. she would want me to come back or go to her place. She would worry too much. I would text her in the morning explaining. I deleted the message and laid on my bed looking up to the cracked Ceiling and fell into a deep sleep.