This may be triggering. It is about depression and suicide. Please don't read if it triggers you. I love you❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I didn't feel like working out the y/n I'm this one so it's first person.
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When I fell, a curious thing occurred.
You'd think, after so long, it would be a relief to fall. To let go. But as I fell, I didn't think about relief. My life didn't flash before my eyes.
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He did.
Jungkook. His smile. His kindess. The way he looked fondly down at me. Or the way he held my hand to his chest. His eyes. Their brightness. The soft silk of his hair. His ethereal beauty and the way I felt a little more important. As if being cared for by him made me a better human. As if I was worth something.
I remembered the bike he bought me. The teal blue of the paint and the wicker basket he filled with Queen Anne's Lace and Sunflowers. The trip we went on, biking through the trees illuminated by creamy sunlight.
I recalled the anger in his eyes when he saw my legs. That first time I was sure he would still love me. He was so mad. He counted the angry red and faded white marks. He numbered them and told me one reason for every mark. One reason to live. One reason to stay. How ironic. All those reasons and I still wanted to go.
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But then I thought about it, mind you this was all happening very quickly, and I realized that I wanted Jungkook.
And that peculiar thing I did, that thing I mentioned earlier, was reach. I reached. I didn't want to fall.
I found that I had a reason. Even as selfish as it was, it was a reason. And I had to honor that reason. And my own selfish whims of course. So when I found myself reaching, desperately grasping at the wind, I stopped.
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And more peculiar still? I was caught.
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Now keep in mind how quickly things can happen. I'm just five seconds, I very well could have fallen three stories. But, unnoticed by myself, a desperate hand had grasped the fabric of my shirt, held it tight. It pulled at my throat, but not long enough to hurt. He took my hand, pulled me up, his strength stemming from adrenaline.
I was back on the roof, cradled in his arms. In Jungkook's shaking arms. He was crying. I was crying. I made myself small as he held me against him. He didn't let me go for a long time. I didn't want him to.
He whispered to me the kindest words, desperate promises, fierce admonitions. He kissed my head and strokes my hair. At all times one arm was wrapped firmly around my waist. He called my mom and told her that he found me. Everyone who loved me had been out searching. I cried harder. My mom held me too. So did my dad and my family.
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That's the funny thing about falling and being caught.
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People tend not to let you go again.
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I never want to be let go again.
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It's short, and didn't make much sense, but this is currently what's in me right now, I hope you like it.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
