loveless // haylor au

chapter seven

"I want you all to myself,
don't leave none for nobody else."

~

chapter seven
the universe problem

July 11th

I wasn't a bad person.
I wasn't.

I definitely wasn't the best person. I had a lot of faults.
Like everyone on the planet.

I didn't always recycle, I sometimes forgot to brush my teeth, I could be a real dick, I smoked on occasion, I wasn't the most patient and I didn't always call my grandma back when I missed her calls. See? I was flawed.

I never said I was perfect. I'm a narcissist, definitely, but I know I'm not perfect.

Something I've always been particularly great at, however, was my constant status to stay loyal. My friends were like my family, and I didn't think I'd be so careless to throw something like that away. Not even for a girl.

And definitely not for a girl I wasn't even sure I liked.

I'd never been more confused in my life. More torn.
The morning of July 9th was, quite frankly, the worst I'd ever felt.

I didn't go back to the flat, straight away. I couldn't.
Wes would be up, getting ready for class, and how could I greet my best friend when I still smelt of his girlfriend? How could I lie about my night when he surely asked what I'd gotten up to, with the taste of her mouth still on my lips?
If he touched me, he might've been able to feel her still radiating off me.
I couldn't go back to the flat, just yet.

So I went to a nearby coffee shop, and sat in a cushioned seat, drinking black coffee because I didn't deserve much better than that at that point.

I watched the city wake up and I envied the people walking past the window, who probably hadn't done what I had last night. I wanted to be them. I wanted their problems. They could have mine.

I wanted to erase what I'd done.

The barista came over and asked if I was okay when she noticed me leant over with my head in my hands. I nodded, explaining my hangover, which was true, and she left me alone after that.
When it'd been almost a full forty-five minutes, and I knew by the time I got back home, Wes would've already left, I scooped up my shit and headed for the exit, only being so lucky to run into someone I hadn't been expecting at all.

'Harry,' Jodie gasped, as she stood halfway in the door and halfway in the cool morning air.

It was then that I knew the universe was fucking with me. It wanted me to hurt so much, and it was doing a beautiful fucking job.

'I can't believe it's you,' she chuckled, and I was still just staring down at her, my mind unable to wrap itself around this whole situation.

'You look so different. Love the hair,' she commented again, and she was trying her best to make this less awkward. She wasn't succeeding.

'Ah... thanks,' I managed, I moved out the door to stand with her on the sidewalk, my heart in my arse, 'You look... different too.'

She was wearing a red coat, her hair pulled back into a bun. She looked incredibly professional. She looked pretty.

God, out of all the fucking coffee shops she could've gone to?

'I, ah, sent you a text, last month. I didn't expect you to reply, but still, it's nice to see you,' Jodie grinned and I actually sighed.