Me and my SIX older BROTHERS!

The one with the haste

After laying in my bed for a few hours i walked downstairs into the kitchen and saw the pill bottle on the counter where i had left it. i stared at it for a few seconds before snapping back to reality. I havent cried. not one tear. i always cry. i feel so numb to everything, i dont know how to function. i walked into the back year and saw that one of the boys was abiut to smoke because there was a pipe sitting there with weed in it. i grabbed my phone and went onto instagram. I found that CC girl and texted her.

"Hey this is Callie, had a question, Text me when you get a chance."                                                             "Hey Callie, whats up?"                                                                                                                                                        "I was wondering if you know someone who sells???"                                                                                        "I can have someone to your house in ten minutes."                                                                                             "Thats perfect thank you!!!"                                                                                                                                      "No problem."

i ran upstairs to get my money and ran back down to wait for the person. as soon as someone pulled up i walked up to their window. it was a guy, he was kinda cute. He looked like he was my age. "You Callie?" he asks. "Yeah, how much?" i ask. "50." he says. i hand him the money and we make small talk. i see someone pull into the neighbor hood and see that its Dylan, he looks at me and then parks infront of my house. "You should go, tell CC i said thanks?" "Will do." he says and drives away. i start walking up to dylans car as hes getting out. "I came to get Dani. he says. "I figured." "What were you doing with that guy?" he asks. "I was picking up." i say. "You, buying pot." he says. "Yeah so." "Callie thats not like you, dont change yourself just to fit in." he says. "Well dont give me advice like your my boyfriend." i say dry and make my wa into the house.

"Dani you ready to go home?" i call up stairs for her. "I dont want to go home i wanna play wif Riber more!" she says running to the staircase. "Come on Dani its time to go." Dylan says. She puts on a sad face and walks down the stairs. He picks her up and starts walking out the door. "Wait! Callie come on!" he says. "Callie's not coming with us Dani." he says. "Why not?" she asks. "I have an early class tomorrow morning." i say to her. "I cant." "Oh." she says. and they walk out. i walk into Rivers room and see him laying in bed on his phone. he looks at me. "Wanna smoke?" i ask him.

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Me and River finished smoking and were talking about life. "So how about you Cal, what new?" he asks. "What do you mean, me and dylan? were broken up." i say. "Yep, were broken up im cancer free, mom and dad are gone bens never here and i have a doctors appointment to see if im still cancer free. thats whats new." i say. "Cal i know its a hard time but we can get threw it." he says. "Can we? i dont wanna get out of bed to even go to the bathroom i dont want to eat, every time i walk past those pills on the counter i wanna take the whole bottle. i want to smoke and drink the pain away so i dont have to realize that my favorite person in the whole world is gone, i cant emotionally accept that becasue im afraid. im afraid that i will fall so far down i might not ever come back up, im afraid that i will finally cry, and im afraid that once i do ill never stop." i say.

"We will get threw it. ill take you to your appointment tomorrow and whatever the doctor says we will get threw it as a family." he says and i dont say anything. "Well as a family without Carson." he says and we both laugh. "Go to bed Cal." he says and we both walk inside.