Flutter by, Butterfly

Chapter 4

I woke up in a cold sweat. I never put much faith in dreams before, but the danger felt so real. I took a deep, calming breath. Breathe in, breathe out. I had to still the rapid beating of my heart. It was only a dream. It was just a dream.

I got out of bed, and went about my morning ritual. I brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, put on my make-up and picked out my clothes. I was always careful to put all my clothes and things back in place. I had staff to clean up after me; but for some reason, I never liked the idea of other people putting their hands on my things. It just made more sense to clean up after myself.

On my way to the kitchen, it was a quick grab of a croissant and coffee. I typically brought it with me to the limo on my way to school. I didn't really notice anything out of the ordinary with the way the staff was acting. Their eyes lingered a bit more though, and their stares, a little more discerning. I figured they must have seen the utter shit storm on the show. I imagined it was only going to get worse once I went to school. Even the limo driver kept looking back at me through the rear-view mirror more often than he normally did. They pitied me. They all did. I braced myself for the tough day I knew was ahead of me.

I went to school with my regular bitch face on. Since the show aired, I needed it more than ever. It was common for me to have people laugh at me when I entered the room. My mother in particular, had made a fool of herself in the past, and of me often enough people eventually caught on. We were more or less a laughing stock of sorts, even if my family was unaware of it. If it was awful before, the vibrator on national television made everything much more horrid, not to mention my resting bitch face made of stone. It didn't mix well on national television at all, but for personal use, I guess it was a good thing I had so much practice up-keeping my mask on, no matter what the things I heard them say. I couldn't let them get to me. I couldn't allow them to see me break down... even though I sometimes wanted to. "Cry-baby, cry-baby." Apparently that time on the show had shown my face with mascara stains after I cried on Alejandro's shoulder. It was something else for my peers to shame me for.

Home was a welcome place of solace when school was finally over, a place where I could just distance myself from everyone and all their negativity. My parents were horrible, that much was true; but at least there was only two of them. Even then, they left me alone most of the time. My room was my castle. I went to my favorite perch by my window. I had already grabbed a snack and drink to accompany me. I began to sort through my books and notes, getting my homework out of the way.

While I was sorting through my mathematics, I received a text from Alejandro, instructing me when and where to meet him. I was not aware how he had my number. To be honest, I didn't really care. I was just glad that he reached me. It was the one good thing that happened that day, and gave me something to look forward to. At least, I hoped it would be good. I checked the time. I had about half an hour to go. It gave me a little time to get ready. I checked my makeup. I reapplied my perfume. My hair's curls were starting to spring back a little bit, but it was fine. On the way to my destination, I clutched my special package. I really hoped he would like my gift.

We met outside the animal shelter. He wore a suit and a tie this time, his smile warm, and his face, friendly. His eyes shone more like they did backstage. He shook my hand with a gentle touch.

I don't think either of us were prepared for the paparazzi. Maybe they followed his limo? The lights flashed. That tick appeared again under his left eye. A saucy grin covered his once comforting face. He began to strip right in the middle of the side-walk. The crowd cheered him on, as he slowly took off his clothes. First came his jacket, twirling it around his head. Next came his shirt. I couldn't help but note the crucifix necklace around his neck. He wore it on camera several times. It was an old, wooden cross, with simple stones tied with twine, but it was the way that it fell on his chest that I was staring at them. For just a moment, I wondered what it would be like to be that necklace, to be that close to his skin.... The thought vanished just as quickly as it came.