Flutter by, Butterfly

Chapter 29

Alejandro took us all to the Fiji Islands. Bruno and Sandy were waiting for us. Even Dumb-dumb and Loco came along. They had been visiting me from time to time the past three years. Our children were our ring-bearer and flower girl. We left them with Sandy and Bruno for our honey moon. Sandy admitted she would love the practice time. Bruno looked surprised, but happy. Judging from the looks of all of our faces, everyone but Bruno had been expecting this. Miguel and M.J. were delighted to hear that they were going to spend time with them. It took away their fear that we would be separated. If we were not back by the time Sandy and Bruno needed to be alone again, Superman and Batman would pick them up.

Loco and Dumb-dumb both warned me privately before Al and I departed what my husband intended to do. I had taken psychology courses in my husband's absence, and he trusted me more than anyone else to do this. He wanted to go somewhere alone with me, and we were going to fuse the final pieces. It was a place where he went through something traumatic, and the hypothesis was facing his demons down would put everything back. This would be unpredictable to say the least, possibly even dangerous for the both of us. We were both willing to do whatever we needed to do to make our family whole.

We left Fiji on a private jet plane. He took me to some remote part of Mexico in the mountains. We settled in a private cabin on the outskirts of a secluded villa. He had it prepared for our visit. There was no electricity and no indoor plumbing. We had to get our water from a well, and food needed to be cooked in a wood burning stove. I had never done anything like this before, but I found myself slipping into this life-style with ease. The blankets were soft, and the mattresses were made out of down feathering. It felt so good to sleep on; but in all honesty, we found we mostly gravitated to the animal skin rug by the hearth...

We did not speak often. We had no need for words. We just clung to one another to escape the things that weighed heavily on our minds. Dumb-dumb had informed me earlier that if I was ever in danger from part of Alejandro's multiples, I could always say "Wake up, my monarch king." This would wake up the dominant program of Alejandro. It didn't feel right when he told me, but I did not get the impression he was lying.

Our first night was a harsh one. I figured that out this place was Al's and Maria's old home the moment we set foot inside. His look of bitter-sweet sorrow as he looked around, the hook beside the entrance door. I remembered Maria telling me how she would hang her crucifix there, and believe that "God was watching over me and my family, and who came through my door." I hung up that very same crucifix in that spot. The nail was still there. Alejandro watched me. His eyes held so much hurt. I let him hold me and forget awhile... Instead of a peaceful sleep afterwards, I woke up to the sounds of his screams from a vivid night-terror. There was no waking him up from this nightmare. I could only watch and listen to the sounds of his horror as I put two and two together of the damage he had to endure.

This was the crying child. I could not bear to see him like this. I said it. "Wake up, my monarch king."

There was a silent pause. Alejandro picked himself up off of the floor. He looked at me, his face blank and his eyes empty of all feeling.

"Jani, what have you done?"

"I couldn't stand to see you that way."

"You said the words, didn't you?"

"Is that bad?"

"Yes. Every time those words are said, a part of me is lost and buried."

"Oh no! That's not what he said!"

"Who?"

"Dumb-dumb! He told me to say it if you ever put me in danger."

"I will not blame him for that. He only knows what they tell him, but if you are ever truly in danger, not even those words will be able to stop me."

I fell to my knees.

"Maybe this was not a good idea after all," he said. "Tomorrow, I will take you to our children and leave you in a place where you will all be safe."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, crawling to him on my hands and knees where he sat.

"Can you really imagine your life without me?"

He began to tremble. I could feel him change. There was no longer any emotion in him, but I could feel his rage. He grabbed me by my neck. I did not resist. I closed my eyes. I allowed him to stake his claim, this more animal than man. With the last of his passion spent, he moved to roll away from me.

"Don't leave me." I clung to him.

He stayed. I felt this primal man become one with the man of coherent thought. Al carried me from the floor back to our bed. He no longer had his feelings as he did, but he still had the power to choose to be a man of honor. He chose me, and I was glad.