Flutter by, Butterfly

Chapter 21

Life went on. I never told anyone else about my dreams. I figured the less people knew, the safer for everyone, but I did enjoy a late night talk with Alejandro every night. He kept me calm, and our conversations kept the nightmares at bay. I made a point to never ask him where he was or what he was doing; something that he never mentioned, but he noticed and greatly appreciated. It wasn't so much about him seeing other people like most people do, but... that secret job of his... I felt that it was best if I didn't know.

He came to see me on every holiday, and every birthday celebration, both mine and Sandy's and even Bruno's. Neither of us mentioned that time we held each other close and our feelings were revealed. He did not touch me at all anymore. Not like before, but I could still see his longing. Every once in a while, he would steal a chaste touch of some sort. Something like gently tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. Innocent things. It was an unspoken promise of what could be our future, but I knew it would be only if I wanted it.

Eventually the media did get ahold of some kind of image like that. I was home most of the time anyway, so it really didn't affect my life at all. Alejandro made it clear to the world that "she's too young. Youth and innocence are precious." And my uncle meanwhile, informed the world that he thought highly of Alejandro, and thought I had a secure head on my shoulders. "If either one of them were to decide they wanted to start dating, they would have my full permission. For the moment, the both of them are content to simply remain friends, and Jani has also made it clear that she doesn't wish to start dating until she is of legal age, to Alejandro or anyone else she were to decide, if she even decides to date at all." There were other questions, such as did we ever plan on dating in the long run. Al would wave them off with a "That is then, and this is now. Anything could change in that length of time; but what Jani wants, is what Jani wants, and it will be honored." They asked him, "Even if she wants you?" He turned away, pretending that he didn't hear, and the interview was over.

There were also pictures of my ace ring, showing that I still chose to abstain. My black ring, made to form a black bow tie on my right middle finger. This led to the media explaining things such as what asexuality was, what the ring stood for, and so forth. Though some pointed out that the ribbon had the capability to be untied, and people with such things were open to change their minds, more as a demisexual, that would abstain until they had a firm foundation of friendship and trust. There were also quite a lot of comments that neither one of us looked like our actual age. Al was timeless, like he could be young or old. I looked much older than I actually was, though Al said I looked more my age without my makeup.

I thought about him all the time. I began to rethink my future. Sandy and Bruno still wanted me to go to college with them, especially Sandy. I just didn't know if it was my thing. They were both so lively and fun-loving. I was more of an introvert and homebody, and I liked it that way.

Also, most people went to college to get themselves a job to stay financially stable. I didn't have to do that. I was already set for life. All I had to do was figure out what it was that I wanted to do. So far, all those thoughts kept circling around Alejandro... I began to double up on my work, just so I could earn my diploma even sooner. Eventually I started taking college courses at home just to pass the time.

On the day I turned eighteen, I put Ferdinand in a box with a little love note. I wrote it in a spot in my room where I knew the camera could watch my every move. "I'm ready," was all it said, with a kiss in my favorite shade of lipstick. I was almost caught doing that. I had just managed to drop the note in the box when Sandy and Bruno came inside, looking exquisitely formal in a black dress and tux.

"Hey!" said Sandy. "Guess who is almost eighteen?"

Both Sandy and Bruno were aware that I would turn eighteen in only a matter of hours now.