Flutter by, Butterfly

Chapter 7

Author's note:  READERS BE WARNED.  This chapter and the rest of the story starts to take a very, very dark turn, leading Jani to have some close calls, and probably some emotional scarring.  Read at your own risk.

I went inside my room and immediately began to research the net yet again for multi-personality disorder. They now looked like they preferred to call it dissociative identity disorder. It was made to better understand this state of mind, this splintering of the soul that was destroyed and scattered beyond repair. Usually, this happened at a very young and tender age. Sexual abuse was a possibility, but not a constant. Abuse in some kind or form was very common. I began to wonder what happened to him, and to Maria too.

I also had random thoughts in my head, such as if I was making the right decision or not. Who was Alejandro Jones away from all the hype and the lime lights? Was he dangerous? I believed that parts of him were. There were also parts of him that were very comforting, soothing, just like Marie used to be, and I missed her so.

Also, what exactly did I want from Alejandro? I knew I wasn't ready for sex yet. Would he be okay with that? The kind one, I believed he would. The others, there was reason to question their integrity; and yet, I had just gone over in my head, how to continue to see him, in secret. I knew this wasn't a wise choice. Was I truly that starved for human affection, that I would accept it even from a grown man that's practically a stranger? I thought of the two people that I called my parents. I thought of the people that attended my school. Yes, I was desperately alone. I believed that Alejandro was as well. Was there anyone in his life that just wanted to be his friend, not caring about getting something from him, or what he could do for them? What happened to him, to the young Miguel before he was famous? What happened to Maria?

I got a call shortly after.

"Hello, Jani."

I recognized him immediately.

"Hello, Spock."

"Spock?"

"The logical one."

"I would prefer it if you called me Hugo."

"Okay."

"How many of us do you know?"

"Well, there is you, and there is the friendly one. He is the one I spent the most time with so far. He came from the crowd, and he comforted me backstage."

"That would be Romeo. He does most of our public speaking."

"Not all of your public speaking," I said.

I heard that weird giggle again.

"Are you referring to me?"

"Who are you?" I asked.

"That would be Loki," said Hugo. "He likes to think that he's the one in charge.

"Is he?"

"Only when he takes me by surprise."

"Are you the dominant one?"

"I try to be. Unfortunately, I am a shepherd of a herd where all of us wish to be dominant."

"Are you the original?"

"No, in fact, he has not been present now for many years."

"You mean Miguel is gone?" Maria's son. He couldn't be!

"Not gone, dormant. Now, tell me how you know him."

"I never did. I knew his mother. She used to cry and call out his name while she was sleeping, and I put two and two together."