Spark in the Dark

Chapter 98

Shawn left Juice's place the next morning before he did so she could arrive at TM first. Jax was sitting at a picnic table smoking a cigarette and saw her coming. He stood from his seat and walked over to her.

"You here to see me? Tig's still in Oregon," Jax said.

"Yeah, I know. I wanted to check in with you. I kind of feel like a shitty friend for taking so long I just..."

"Didn't know what to say?"

"Right. So, how are you? Do you want to talk about it?" Shawn asked. Jax hesitated. "Or we can go up to the roof and drop shit to watch it break like when we were kids?"

Jax chuckled. "Oh man. When was the last time we did that?"

"I think we were 12? Gemma threatened to drop us from the roof if we did it again."

"Let's go," Jax said and started for the ladder to the roof that was on the side of the clubhouse.

"Wait. Are we really going to be dropping shit? Because I was kidding."

"No. It's just a more private place to talk." Jax climbed the ladder and Shawn followed. Once they were sitting, Shawn waited for Jax to start. "I think I need to end things with Tara."

Shawn's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She had thought he'd want to talk about Abel. Not Tara. "Why? What's going on?"

"She doesn't belong here, Shawn. She's not built for all this. I mean, she's a doctor."

"Do you really think that's a good idea right now? With Abel gone, maybe you're not thinking clearly. Maybe that's a decision you make once your son is home."

"I already tried to end it," Jax admitted. "She's not taking no for an answer."

"Of course not. She's not going to leave while Abel is missing. She loves him, too," Shawn reasoned.

"Then why did she let someone take him?" Jax asked, his anger now coming through his voice.

"Is that what this is really about? You blame her for Abel being gone?"

"I don't know," Jax admitted.

"That isn't her fault, Jax. That Irishman had already killed Kip. She was probably terrified. No one thinks clearly when they're that afraid."

"I just keep think about how if Gemma were with them... Or you," Jax said and looked up at Shawn. "That Abel would still be here."

The way Jax was looking at her made Shawn uncomfortable. She looked away from him. "You don't know that."

"I do," Jax said and covered her hand with his, causing Shawn to look back at his face. "You never would have allowed someone to take him."

"Jax, don't-" Shawn tried to protest, but leaned in to kiss her, anyways. Shawn gasped and pulled away while pushing his away from her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Shawn, c'mon-"

"No!" Shawn said more forcefully. "I don't think of you like that. And even if I did, we both know you're in love with Tara. No one is ever going to compare to her in your mind. So stop trying to find a reason to end it with Tara just because you're pissed. Talk to her and work it out like a fucking adult."

The sound of a motorcycle distracted Shawn for a moment. She looked down and saw Juice pulling into the lot on his Dyna. Jax took her hand, again.

"I'm sorry, Shawn. I shouldn't have done that," Jax apologized.

Shawn pulled her hand away from him. "No. You shouldn't have."

"Don't be like that. If anything you should take it as a compliment," Jax said as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his cut.