Spark in the Dark

Chapter 105

Gemma left not long after Unser did. Lyla and Shawn tried to talk her out of it, Gemma was supposed to still be hiding from the ATF, but Gemma wouldn't listen. She left anyways, leaving Shawn and Lyla to take care of Abel, although Lyla was doing most of the work. Shawn was too distracted as she tried to plan out her future conversation with Juice. It took some time, but Lyla was able to cheer Shawn up after awhile by raiding Gemma's wine while Abel was taking his nap.They were sitting at the kitchen table while Lyla laughed as Shawn told her about threatening Ima when Gemma walked in. She looked at the girls, then their wine glasses, and raised her eyebrows.

"Enjoying yourselves?" Gemma asked them.

"It's been a rough few days," Lyla pointed out, "and it isn't over, yet. You have to take time for yourself when given the chance."

"Plus Abel is out like a light in Jax's room. We had to entertain ourselves," Shawn added.

"Well, if it helps," Gemma started as she closed the kitchen door, "Tara is safe. She and Jax are at the hospital as we speak checking on things."

Lyla's phone rang and she excused herself to answer it. Shawn turned back to Gemma.

"Check on what things? Tara didn't get hurt, did she?"

"No. She's pregnant," Gemma said with a smile.

"Seriously?" Shawn asked, excited, and Gemma nodded.

"Wow. Jax excited?"

"I'm sure. He loves Abel."

Lyla reentered the kitchen holding Abel. "Heard this guy fussing after I got off the phone with Ope. He wants me to meet him at TM. I miss anything?"

Shawn stood and took Abel from Lyla. "This little guy is going to be a big brother."

"Oh, my gosh!" Lyla gushed. "How exciting!"

Lyla left to meet Opie a few minutes later and Shawn followed not long after that. Once home, she left the back door unlocked and sat in the kitchen to wait for Juice. She knew it wouldn't be long until he showed up and she was anxious to talk to him. He walked in a little later and took in Shawn's worried expression.

"Hey," he greeted her. "Tara's fine. Her and Jax are back home with Abel."

"I heard," Shawn said.

"Then why do you look so worried?" Juice asked.

"You really don't know? You're going back inside tomorrow, Juice."

"I'll be okay, Shawn," he assured her.

"You're not worried anymore?"

Juice shrugged. "I mean, I am. It be crazy if I wasn't. But you were right the other night about the guys not letting anything happen to me. They'll watch my back and I'll watch their's."

"So, we can tell Tig then? Right? Tonight? Or tomorrow morning? Gemma told me before I left her place that she's having a big breakfast at the clubhouse," Shawn suggested, but as she spoke Juice sighed and moved away from her.

"Shawn-"

"You just said they'll watch your back."

"Because they have no reason not to. You really think the morning before we go back in is a good time to give them that reason?"

"No, I think right after you got arrested in the first place was a good time. Tig would have cooled down by now. That is, if he gets pissed at all."

"So, it's all my fault?" Juice asked her, pissed off.

"In the beginning, no. We both agreed to this. But now? Yeah, it kind of is."

"I seem to remember giving you plenty of time to be ready."

"And that was my fault. I should have told them when you wanted to and I regret not doing it then. Hindsight is 20/20. Now, you're making the same mistake I made."

"I don't see it that way," Juice told her.

"Let me ask you something. When you're in there, how are you supposed to see me with no one knowing?"

Juice shrugged. "I guess I won't."

His answer shocked Shawn. "And you're okay with that?"

"I'll write to you. I'll call. I'm not going to just disappear."

"But you won't see me for years," Shawn said with tears in her eyes.

"I don't have any other choice."

"You always have a choice!"

"So, what am I supposed to do? Go up to Tig tomorrow morning and tell him, in front of everyone, that I've been fucking his daughter for over a damn year? C'mon, Shawn. I can't do that and you know it."

Shawn stared at him in disbelief. "Is that all I am to you? Just someone you fuck?"

"You know that's not true. Stop being dramatic."

"Dramatic? Really?" Shawn said and angrily wiped away her tears. "Maybe it is true. Maybe that's why you won't tell anyone. Maybe you're embarrassed to be with fucked up Tig's equally fucked up, porn producing daughter."

"Jesus Christ. You're ridiculous. I don't think you or Tig are fucked up. Stop turning this into more than it is."

"Then why did you ask me about dead latinas the other night? Or being into banging dead people that one night a few weeks ago?"

"You know what, this is not how I'm going to spend my last night of freedom for God only knows how long," Juice told her.

"Then go. Just go. I have to get used to you not being around, right?"

"Right," Juice said and opened the backdoor.

Shawn slammed it behind him and he could hear the sound of her hit the door a moment later. He stormed off the porch and over to the garage, but the instant he touched the door knob, he regretted leaving. He slowly walked by up the porch steps and over to the door. He could hear her crying through the door and raised his hand to knock, but couldn't move his fist to hit the door. Maybe this was better for her. Maybe him going away for awhile would be easier on Shawn if she were angry at him. If he could keep his distance until they were taken into custody tomorrow evening, then give her a week or two of space to get used to him being gone, he could then write to her and they would be okay.