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26

Stokeley
I finished dressing up by adjusting my durag. A sigh escaped my lips as I stared at myself in the mirror. The bags under my eyes were noticeable. Very noticeable. My clothes no longer fît me because of the much weight I've lost. I no longer recognize who I am. I faced away from the mirror walking out of the bathroom all together. Its been a few hours since I left the hospital. I feel tired. I just wonna give up already but I can't. I grabbed my phone and charger putting them in my fanny pack. Looking down at myself again I sigh. Am literally sinking in these sweat shirt and pants. I rubbed my eyes then headed down stairs to get my keys. I haven't received a call yet so there must be no news from the hospital.

My keys were on the table and next to it was an almost empty bottle of henny. I drowned the last of the henny picking up my keys. I got out of the house locking the door then got into my metallic green jaguar driving off back to the hospital.

The drive there was shorter than I expected. There actually wasn't any traffic. I found Symere waiting outside Jahseh's room.

"How iz he?"I asked immediately. He looked up from his phone staring at me.

"I know you didn't sleep bur at least you smell better."he said making me roll my eyes. "And you seriously need to quit drinking Stokeley. Its becoming abit too much."

"I don't drink Symere."I stated plainly sitting beside him. Am glad there ain't so many people in this section of the hospital. In all this I haven't actually considered the public may find out and we may be dealing with the annoying paparazzi.

"Is that what you think? Look me in the eye right now and tell me you haven't tasted that toe germs tasting shit called hennessey."he crossed his arms. I rolled my eyes standing up. I don't have a drinking problem. Its just calming my nerves.

"How's Jah doing? Can I see him?"I asked diverting from the subject. He sighed shaking his head.

"Is this what you really want Jahseh to come back to? An alcoholic fiancé? You are supposed to get married and have more kids. At this rate am afraid that-"i cut him off by walking away into Jahseh's room. He was still asleep. I grabbed a chair sitting beside him. I took his hand in mine.

"Hey boo. Iss me again. I know you prolly don wonna see me right now. Especially when you get your memories and get to know that our princess is gone. I don know how I'll make up for killing our first born. I know how excited you were about her. I jus wonna say that i'm sorry. I've ruined so many lives already but seeing you like this kills me more. I jus want you to be happy. Thats what I promised you but I failed. I failed you my love. I don't even deserve your forgiveness." Tears streamed from my eyes.I wiped my eyes moving my vision from his hand to his face. My heart nearly jumped outta my chest when I found him staring at me. We just stared at each other. His face was blank of any emotion. My heart rate picked up. Time seemed to freeze. I didn't even blink.

"Hey stale bones."he whispered. His voice was hoarse. Wait--Thats the nick name he calls me. Does that mean...? Does he remember me? Is his memory back?" Baby....please don cry....i'm okay now."he said lowly again. My heart contracted in my chest as I bowed my head resting on his lap. He remembers me!He remembers me! I cried harder my tears soaking the hospital sheets. I felt his grip on my hand tighten as another hand caressed my dreads.

"Stokeley........Stoke baby look at me.."his hoarse voice reached my ears. I reluctantly lifted my gaze to him. He was silently shedding tears. "I finally got my memory Stokeley. I finally remember everything."he smiled through his tears. I gulped my tears increasing. I held his hand with both of mine and rained kisses on it.

"I missed you."he breathed out. I closed my eyes. Am I dreaming right now or this actually happening." You look terrible. You making chunky look so handsome right now."he said giggling. I chuckled my eyes still closed. "Stokeley...."he whispered. I opened my eyes looking into his. His other hand caressed my cheek and I leaned into his touch." Hold me please."he mumbled. My breath hitched butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I returned my eyes to his chocolate onces. They were pleading. I stood up slowly as he made room for me. I laid down next to him. He immediately moved towards me resting his head on my chest. I was careful not to interfere with the tube still connected to his wrist. He balled up a fistful of my sweatshirt in his hand as he moulded his body into mine. I wrapped my arms around him tightly tucking his head under my chin. My eyes shut tightly taking in this moment. He shifted his head and I could tell he was looking at me.

"I love you. I love you so much."he said. I opened my eyes looking at him. I've waited so long to hear him say those words to me. It tagged at my heart that I was speech less for a second.

"I lov-"my words caught in my mouth when he pressed his  lips  against mine. Fireworks lit up my whole body as our lips moved in sync. It was so surreal that it all felt like a dream. We kissed till he pulled away to catch his breath. I inhaled slowly opening my eyes to meet his. He had his lower lip in his mouth looking at me too. I was still dazed from the kiss. He blinked away tears that were threatening to fall. I rested my forehead on his.

"Say something."he said mumbled. What do I say? My mind begun to race. There was so much I had to say. So many words caught up in my throat but all I could manage to croak out was a pathetic apology.

"I'm sorry....i'm so sorry..."I mumbled over and over as another dam broke in my eyes.

"Its okay baby. Its okay. Everything will be fine."he tried soothing me but I couldn't take it.

"Its not! Nothing is okay Jah...."I cried." Our baby girl...."I trailed off as my stomach clenched. I couldn't finish that sentence but I had to. He might as well hate me now. "Our daughter Jahseh.....she...she..."he placed his finger on my lips shaking his head. He was shedding tears too." I'm sorry...."I whispered. He rested his head back on my chest. I knew he knew what happened to our baby girl but just hearing it was hard. I couldn't say it too. All I could do was hold him as we both cried silently. It was like salt just got added into my already throbbing wound. Guilt washed over me with a force so intense that I couldn't breath for a second.

"Please forgive me."

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I'mma proof read this later
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