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Stokeley
I sighed as I waited to be called on stage. Just as our names were called I realised I didn't have my bracelet on. I never take it off. How come it fell off without my knowledge?

"Aye Omar I need to get something from the car."I said rushing to our designated parking lot. Only our cars were up here. I opened my side. Turning on the flashlight on my phone  I looked around  on the floor. I smiled when I saw it glistening. I picked up quickly putting ut back on my wrist.

Jah gave me this on our first date. I swore to never took it off. Ever! It has way too much sentimental value to me." Why did you come off? I can't lose you you know. You can't get lost. Oh no no no-"i cut myself off shaking my head. Now am talking to a bracelet? Madness!

A bottle of henny caught my attention. I grabbed it taking a swig. Time to give the world the happy charade. I took one more sip then got out the car. A figure in all black caught my attention.

"Aye who are you?"I shouted making the person turn around. I couldn't see their face clearly because of the baseball cap but the person seemed to freeze. May be a fan.

"Its you!"the person exclaimed. I know that voice from anywhere. But how? Shock travelled through my whole body as he continued to stare at me.

"Jahseh?"the name left my mouth involuntarily. I saw him sway as if he was gonna fall. Out of reflex I was bedside him in a heartbeat. He looked up at me his eyes dazed.

"Fuck! You're nosebleeding!"I exclaimed. My heart contracted in my chest when his legs gave out and he fell in my arms.

"Jahseh? Oh my God!"I was panicking. I felt so helpless again. He was slipping in and out of consciousness. How comes he was here?  All my guilt came rushing back as I stared at his beautiful face. He was moving his head around clearly in pain.

"This is all my fault. Baby am so so sorry."I broke down pulling him against my chest.

"Ski what the he-shit whats going on?" Omar came running towards me.

"Omar its Jahseh. He saw me and passed out. His nose is bleeding we really need to help him out."I rushed out picking him bridal style.

"Oh no! I thought he was asleep at home?"he said following me to the car. I got in the back still holding him. Fuck the concert. My baby needs me right now.

"Stokeley calm down." Omar said starting up the car.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down Omar."I yelled my frustration and worry taking over. He took out his phone calling Gazzy and telling him to call Jahseh's doctor.

I looked down at him wiping his blood off with my t'shirt but it still flowed. I haven't held him in my arms for so long. All I could think about right now is for him to be okay. Tears flowed from my eyes none stop. Seeing him so close is not the same as watching him sleep on facetime. This made the pain and solitude more real.

The car came to halt outside the house I had bought for Jahseh. I never been here personally and now I realised how huge it was. I carried Jah inside as Omar showed me his room. I placed him gently on the bed taking his cap off and removing his jacket off him.

"Mr Goulbourne."the doctor said coming in with Omar behind him.

"Doc please help him."I begged looking down at him." Please....please.."Omar pulled me out of the room.

"Its okay Stoke. Jah will be okay." Omar hugged me trying to comfort me.

"Omar? Stoke what happened?" Gazzy ran up to us. Seeing him just fuelled my anger. I detached myself from Omar.

"You was supposed to watch him Gazzy! Thats all I asked!"I yelled moving towards him. He backed away.

"Stoke am sorry. I thought he was-"he started but I cut him off .

"You thought? You was supposed to watch him Gazzy not think! Or could for have someone else to do this!"my voice increased in volume making him flinch.

"Aye stoke stop it." Omar pulled me back and he hugged a crying Gazzy.

"I  didn't know he would run away Omar. I s-swear I didn't."he cried.

"Sshhh its okay Gazzy. I know."he soothed. I leaned against the wall sliding down to the floor. My head rested on my knees as I cried silently.

It took awhile but the doctor finally came out. We all stood to listen to what he said.

"Well the strain on his brain this time was abit too much. It will probably slow down the rate if his memory recovery but other than that he is fine."he said making my heart relax abit. After leaving some more instructions I didn't really listen to he left. It was silent the tension very much thick. Taymor took Nick to bed leaving Symere,Jordan,Gazzy,Omar and I.

"S-Stokeley i'm sorry." Gazzy mumbled playing with his fingers.

"I asked you for one thing Gazzy. One thing. To take care of him. First he got lost and now he left the house without your knowledge. I don't think I can entrust him to you anymore."I was being serious.

"Stokeley you just being unfair right about now. None of us knew this would happen." Omar said.

"Unfair? I am being unfair? What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Huh?"he was silent. Gazzy just continued to cry.

"Its not like you are think about Jahseh anyway. You think he wants to recover his memory and come home to an alcoholic?" Symere yelled.

"Shut the hell up! None of you know what I am going through. None of you can relate to my pain."all this yelling made my voice raspier.

"But we love Jahseh too. We wouldn't hurt him on purpose." Jordan added.

"Stop it all of you! None of this is helping. Stoke its clear you are a mess without Jahseh and your guilt is eating you up. Just go in there and be with him. Hold him because you really need it. For your sanity." Gazzy said making my eyes widen.

"I-i can't g-go in t-there. What if I h-hurt him again."I shook my head pulling at my dreads.

"Just do it Stoke. You need this." Omar emphasized. They all nodded leaving me alone in the hallway. I stared at his door my heart pounding and my whole body shaking.

It took me almost forver to turn the knob again entering slowly even though I knew he was knocked out. Posters of me caught my attention every where in the room making me feel odd. I walked slowly to the bed looking at him. I think my heart grew in size. I stared at him for awhile longer before getting in bed pulling his body close to mine. My muscles instantly relaxed as I wrapped my arms around him. I closed my eyes pretending that everything was okay and normal.

"Come back to me baby. I miss you so bad."I cried unable to control my emotions. I kissed the back of his neck holding him tight.

"I love you....... I love you so much. To infinity"  I whispered with my eyes tightly closed.

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