Love Hurts (DBSK YooSu)

~18~

„Yoochun-ah I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked" Yunho mumbled as he was standing in front of the younger, not wanting to sit down on the cool ground.
„It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have kissed you" he mumbled while leaning his head onto the wall, looking up at the starry sky.
„Of course it was my fault. I would have never kissed you if I wasn't this confused" Yunho said without thinking about it.
„Do you even remember what I told you only a few minutes again? I always knew that I wasn't good enough to be with you so I never told you. Do you even know how that makes me feel?" Yoochun stated coldly, his gaze fixated on Yunho.
„That's not what I meant. I'm sorry Yoochun-ah I just never felt drawn to other men."
„Except Jaejoong?" Yoochun cut him off and Yunho couldn't deny that, after all it was true.
„Chun please."
„No Yunho it's fine. He's perfect, pretty and smart. Everyone loves Jaejoong so why would you be any different? I always knew that you would never like me in that way but kissing you made me remember that. It was a mistake" Yoochun replied while getting up from the ground, walking away from Yunho.
„Yah what are you doing?" Yunho yelled after him but was only met with silence as Yoochun left the school grounds.
„Yah Park Yoochun you're not allowed to leave this late" Yunho yelled while running after him, quickly grabbing his arm to hold him back.
„Since when do you care? It's not your damn problem and now let me go."
„I won't let you go" Yunho only said while tightening his grip around the younger's arm.
„Yunho let me go" he warned while trying to get out from the other's hold but to no avail.
„I won't let you go to do something stupid."
„I've already done something stupid because of you" Yoochun yelled at Yunho and pushed him away, not caring when his best friend stumbled and fell to the ground.
„Just leave me alone Yunho, you already stopped caring about me so leave me alone" he mumbled while tears glistened in his eyes, leaving before Yunho would be able to hold him back again.
It was already pretty cold but Yoochun didn't care, he knew exactly where to go even if he wasn't allowed to do so. Their dorms weren't far away from a small convenient store he visited very often, the owner already knew him so it wasn't a problem to buy Soju at all. Not even 10 minutes later he arrived there and bought a few bottles of Soju, ignoring the worried look of the owner and told her that he was fine before he left again, taking a sip from the bottle while wandering around the streets. He knew it wasn't a good idea but he needed the alcohol, he didn't know what else there was left. He lost almost everything in the span of a few minutes, he was stupid to help Yunho and worse his first crush. He knew that there were still feelings towards the older but kissing him made everything feel so real, so much more intense and he felt absolutely horrible for doing this to Junsu and him. If it was already so hard for him he didn't know what it did to his lover and all he wanted was to run back and apologize but he knew the younger wouldn't just accept him like that, he was too proud to do so even if he loved him.
"You're stupid Park Yoochun. Always hurting the people you love" he slurred mostly to himself, not really caring if there was anyone who could hear him.
"Just stop being stupid for once" he continued and took another long sip from the bottle, throwing it to the ground when it was empty and opening another one. He completely lost track of the time or where exactly he was or how many bottles of soju he already drank but he didn't care anymore. It was cold and he was only wearing a T-Shirt, goosebumps forming on his arms as he continued to walk, silent tears escaping his eyes as hw tried to drown his feelings in alcohol, hoping the pain would subside but no matter how much he drank it didn't stop hurting. His phone already died hours ago, nobody knew where he was and Yoochun hoped that nobody would look for him since he just wanted to be alone, walking until he got tired from it. He could hear the sirens blaring in the distance, the only thing that made him feel alive at this very moment. His mind was hazy from the alcohol and everything felt so surreal to him, like he was walking on clouds and nobody could harm him. That was exactly the kind of state he wanted to be in and he was glad that he couldn't hear his own thoughts for a while, only thinking about the alcohol in his system.
Yoochun knew he was in trouble when his last bottle dropped to the floor and the sun was already rising in the distance but he had no idea where he was so he just decided to sit down on a bench, looking at the sun in the distance.
"Seriously what's wrong with me? Why do I still love him?" he cried out, tears spilling from his eyes as his whole body was shaking from the cold and the alcohol in his blood. He felt dizzy, light-headed and like he was falling, panic spreading all through his body as he tried to take a deep breath to calm down a bit. He desperately held onto the bench, hoping that it would calm him at least a bit, that it would show him that he was still conscious and alive. He could feel his head throbbing and his stomach churning, sweat visible on his forehead all while he tried his best to not collapse right now.
"I'm so sorry. I was wrong" he mumbled, more tears escaping his eyes as his vision started to blur and he couldn't focus on anything to keep him calm. He could feel his heartbeat increase rapidly and before he could do anything else he felt his knees hitting the ground before everything was suddenly black.

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I had a hard time deciding on what to write, if the should fight longer or not but in the end I decided to stick with the drama.