It's just another night on the other side.
Niall stopped going to band practice. He hadn't seen anyone from the band except Calum since that night.
He hated himself. He threw himself into soccer like his dad always demanded--staying late every single night to run extra sprints and complete extra drills. Anything that would give him a reason for not making it to band practice. Anything that would keep him from seeing Casper with Luke.
He didn't sleep anymore. He spent most of his nights at the park where he met Casper, staring at the stars and wondering if she even cared where he was. Or what he was doing. Or if he was okay. (He wasn't.)
Niall wondered about Casper a lot. It was almost impossible for him not to. He wondered if Luke really was treating her right--he could ask Calum any time about this, but Niall didn't really talk anymore. He couldn't even remember the last time he laughed--and he wondered if everything was okay at home with her parents.
You still fucking care when she obviously doesn't. Get your shit together, dude.
Niall just wanted to feel something, anything, again. Every part of him was numb, from his head to his toes.
So it wasn't really a surprise when his dad found him on the bathroom floor one Saturday morning, with an empty bottle of scotch in his right hand, and a bottle of painkillers in his left.
***
Casper didn't know what to do.
Everything was absolutely perfect.
Perfect was something Casper had only experienced maybe twice in her entire life. It was completely foreign to her. She was used to chaos and frustration and screaming in the middle of the night and breaking down and coming undone and biting her tongue.
So, with Luke being sweet, wonderfully sweet, her dad relaxing a bit--she hadn't seen him drink for weeks--school going well...life was exactly as she always dreamed it could be--easy and nice. Everything was going...perfectly.
She was caught in a state of grace. It was as if things were finally beginning to change.
But then Luke went to one party and dragged Casper along and, while she stayed as far away from the beer as possible, he couldn't stop chugging it down. And then when she was pleading with him to leave, he slapped her. In front of everyone. But no one said anything. He was Luke Hemmings. He got what he wanted and he did whatever he pleased.
And later, when Casper finally made it home around 5:00am, she discovered that Luke wasn't the only person who had drank that night. Her dad saw the mark of Luke's handprint on her cheek.
"WHY THE HELL" Slap. WOULD YOU LET SOMEONE" Slap. "TOUCH YOU LIKE THAT" Slap. "YOU STUPID" Slap. "STUIPID GIRL." Slap.
She didn't even cry. Not even after her dad passed out in the living room and her mom came downstairs to remove the bottle of whiskey from his hand.
All she did was crack a small smile.
Everything was back to normal.
***
The night sky was clouded. Niall couldn't see the stars, even if he wanted to.
He'd been spending almost every night in the park for the past few days. Ever since his dad found him passed out on the bathroom floor, he'd never seen a point to anything else.
He hadn't tried to kill himself. He just wanted his heart to stop aching and he wanted to forget Casper completely. He knew if he could do that, he might be okay. He might be himself again.
He just didn't know how to make that happen.
His mind was spinning a thousand miles an hour, and no matter what he did, he couldn't get Casper off his mind. Being drunk didn't help. Running sprints until his legs visibly shook didn't help. Nothing helped.
Niall was starting to believe that nothing ever would.
***
It was around 3:00am when Niall heard footsteps. He sat upright on the bench, curious as to who would be at the park right now.
He secretly hoped it was a serial killer. Just so he really wouldn't be able to think about...Niall's eyes went wide as he took in the familiar face he knew all too well.
"Casper?"
***
hiiiii.
so i cried while writing this.
like, a lot.
niall hates himself because casper got away and casper is getting abused by luke.
~if anyone you know is getting abused like casper, please tell someone. anyone. it's a serious thing and it's okay to get help. please.~
i don't really know where this story is going. i'm honestly just taking it chapter by chapter.
if anyone is still reading this story, i love you. i love you more than i love singing taylor swift songs at the top of my lungs in the car. and that's real love.
i went to wwa three days ago. i finally saw them. they're real. all nine of them. i can't even begin to explain that night properly. i'll never forget it for as long as i live.
i kind of know what i want the next two updates to be, so you can expect them to come soon-ish. (like really soon-ish. i have them planned out to an extent.)
oh, and as always, this isn't edited. so...yeah.
see you later, alligator.
