Let me get my way | Pesy

'I Love You'

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Jesy's POV
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It's friday now. The second week is finally over. It was a nightmare in my dorm. Gigi has been Gigi. As always. And Perrie was weird to me this whole week. I even slept in Jade's, Leigh's and Selena's dorm once. On their couch. I couldn't take the stress in my dorm.

Today I was the first one in our dorm. I didn't care about changing into some more comfortable clothes. I just sat on the couch and watched tv. I wanted to talk to Perrie today. I wanted to ask her why she's ignoring me. Soon Gigi showed up.

"Hey, Gigi." I greeted. She waved back and rolled her eyes. "Do you know where Pez is?" I asked and she gave me a glare.

"Like you don't know. I was just there, but I couldn't stand her so I left. Even you're better than her right now and you're a complete loser." She said.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, I guess." Of course she's with Alex. I stood up and went to my room. I felt like crying and I didn't want Gigi to see me in even worse shape. I already am fat. She doesn't have to know that I cry over Perrie. Almost every day.

I took out my keyboard and my notes. I write songs in my free time. I started in high school. I learned how to play keyboard and then I started writing. And plus, I always say things easier with a song. I'm just finishing a song. It's actually the first one I wrote here in uni. Last year I didn't write because I wanted to make friends. But for this year I made it my goal to write at least a few songs. And this one is about Perrie. The girl I love so much and she doesn't even notice me. I just want to hold her. I know it might sound selfish, but I can't wait 'till that bastard breaks her heart. Then I can hold her and comfort her and be there for her. And then she might actually notice me. As these thoughts flow through my head I finish the song.
(The song Jesy wrote below)

I played and sang it once I finished. I started crying as I was singing. This song describes how I really feel about her. And how I feel when I just see her. She lights up the room and makes my heart skip a beat. She so goddamn beautiful and she doesn't even know it. Suddenly my bedroom door swung open and Gigi entered.

"Jesy? You write songs?" She asked and took my notebook and started reading through the lyrics. I was burning with embarrassment because now she knows I feel a special way about someone. A smile builds on her face. "Who is this about Jes?" She asked.

"Someone." I mumbled.

"Well, yeah. But who?" She asked. Then I got angry.

"None of your goddamn business. Now get the fuck out of my room." I said, took my notebook from her and she raised her hands in defense before leaving and shuting the door. I sigh. Five minutes later Gigi entered again.

"Could you at least sing it for me?" She begged. I shook my head.

"No fucking way." I said. I'd cry if I sang it. "I can't sing." I lied. I mean, I don't think I can sing that well, but the biggest reason is because I don't wanna cry in front of her.

"Please. Even if you can't sing. I wanna hear you sing it. It must be important to you." She pushed. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you annoy me so much?" I asked.

"It's my job." She said and grinned stupidly.

"Fuck you." I said and flipped her off. She bursted out laughing. Soon I did the same as well. I never thought I could have so much fun with Gigi. "Fine. I'll sing it." I finally said. I felt self-consious about singing in front of her, but maybe she's not that bad if I get to know her. I started singing. At the first chorus tears started stinging me at the back of my eyes. But I refused to let a single tear fall in front of Gigi. If it were Jade or Leigh, I would've been crying my eyes out by now. I got through the second verse and chorus just fine, but at the third verse I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I just let the tears drip down my face. I didn't care how Gigi would react. I had to cry. I just had to. I soon finished and then there was awkward silence. I calmed down. "So, uh, how was it?" I asked and laughed dryly.

"That was beautiful. Jesy you're such a good singer. You should go to a competition." She said and I laughed dryly.

"Thanks." I said and scratched my neck.

"But why did you hold back?" She asked and I looked at her, confused. "Why did you hold the tears back? I noticed that you didn't wanna cry. Why?" She asked, a bit more specific.

"I-I guess I... ugh! It's because you were here. I didn't wanna seem like a loser in front of you. I thought you'd make fun of me." I answered, honestly.

"Why would you think that?" She asked and I glared at her.

"Well, you know, cause most of the time you act like a bitch." I said and she looked at the ground.

"Well, I'm sorry. I guess it's just my personality. I'll try to be different." She said and I shook my head.

"Don't change for me, you stupid. You should never change because of someone." I said and she smiled.

"Thanks. But I want you to be comfortable around me. And when you cry, you don't look like a loser. It shows how strong you actually are." She said and I nodded.

"Okay. Now get the fuck out." I said, playfully. She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll go shopping so you'll probably be alone here for at least four hours. I don't think miss Chamberlain is gonna show up soon." She said and I rolled my eyes.

"Have fun." I said and she exited. Soon I heard her exit the dorm. I still thought a bit about the name of the song. And soon it clicked. This song is about the love of my life and how I love her so I called it 'I Love You'.