Monsta X: The Clan Pt. 2

18: Don't Worry

"Don't worry about me, I'm still good"

"Now next, next, next"

Warning: Some suicidal themes. If such themes make you uncomfortable, skip this chapter.

Minhyuk:

Time was out.

You could tell by the monitor that used to flash "X" because it was now powered off. Only an ominous line appeared on the screen, straight and eerie, as if it were mocking us.

As if it was saying "Time's up."

The drugs were the problem. I wasn't sure what they did, what Jooheon did, but after months of failed attempts, after months of being their guinea pig, it finally worked. You could tell, by the elated faces of the doctors on the other side of the glass, smiling as if they accomplished something great.

As if killing someone was an achievement.

I couldn't say a "last word," not even if I tried my hardest. My throat was dried up after not saying a word for months. I couldn't manage.

It was sad, this whole thing, but what could I do?

I heard the doctors' muffled voices on the other side of the glass. They said we less than a day. In a few hours, we'd be dead, more victims to the Capitol's terrifying regime. 

But there was nothing we could do.

There was no one coming to save us.

It was too late.

Hyungwon's eyes had been closed for the past several hours. If it weren't for the slow rise and fall of his chest, I would think him to be dead. I didn't think it was possible for him to get any skinnier, to look any paler than he already was.

We both looked more dead than alive.

Still, there was this human instinct within both of us, the instinct to simply keep on fighting.

Even when there's no hope, no possibility of being saved, there was this feeling within me, this annoying voice, that just told me, simply, "Keep going."

The voice kept me going for all this time. It was the unaccounted factor that hindered the doctors' progress. Had we not had this "instinct" within us, this will to keep fighting we likely would've been long dead.

It was this instinct that was keeping us alive.

Jooheon was the one that spoiled this little secret of ours. I'm almost sure he told the doctors of this factor, this tool that was keeping us living, and they found a way around it.

They found a way to crush the human spirit.

This drug, this artificial, manufactured weapon was more powerful than a silly purple flower. Much more powerful than anything one could concoct.

And it was this drug that was killing the will.

My will to live any longer and keep such hope within me.

You could tell that it was the same with Hyungwon. The shy boy who used to give faint smiles, the one who would laugh at the silliest things, he was fading away. 

The boy who, despite losing nearly everything, left behind a vial of a mysterious drug in hopes that someone would save him.

In hopes that he would get to live.

Yet even that simple wish couldn't be fulfilled, because we were both here, in this hell-hole, dying.

I could feel it, each day getting harder and harder to get through. I could see it, my vision fading slowly until my eyes could barely stay open. I could hear it, the beeping on the monitor getting softer, the doctors' voices fading away.

If I had to die, I would want it to be quick. This, this slow suffering, was practically torture. It was so excruciatingly painful to know that as you sit here, completely docile, there's nothing you can do to change your fate. Despite being alive, despite having a breath within you, there was nothing you could do.

Hyungwon now despised me, my friends have forgotten about me, and my home was likely burned down to ruins.

There was nothing to live for. I had tried my hardest to fight for everything, to fight at one more chance to live a happy life, a life I had once taken for granted.

But my efforts, our efforts were futile.

"Time's up," the doctors seemed to say.

"Time's up," the Capitol seemed to say.

"Time's up," I said, at a barely audible whisper.

And the white room faded away into darkness.

A/N

Sorry that this chapter is way shorter than all of the other ones! This scene if brief (both in the music video and in terms of plot) so I didn't want to draw it out for too long. 

Timestamp for this chapter is 2:51-2:54.

Next update will be Sunday, March 10.

This book is close to the end! Thank you so much for all of the support, it really means the world to me. Don't forget to vote!