Right Side Up

Forty Two

I didn't sleep last night. I haven't really slept at all recently. I can't even calm down enough to be sleepy. I feel no urge to fall asleep.

My mind is constantly turned on.

I grab my cellphone from the bedside table and scroll through my notifications.

I click on one from an hour and a half ago.

From: Officer John Meenan
     Hey. Sorry to wake you. I don't want to wake the rest of the family but I have an urgent message at the door for you.

I sigh. Not again. I slide out of bed quietly and throw on a pair of clean pajama pants so that he won't see me in my underwear.

I cross my arms over my chest and walk down the stairs slowly, trying to avoid the creaky floorboards beneath the carpet. I don't want to wake anyone.

Opening the door, John perks up, standing up from the chair he was using to take a nap in. "Hey." I step out on the front porch to join him. "How long have you been out here?" I ask, shielding myself from the light rain.

He shrugs. "Few hours. How long have you been awake?"

I shrug. "Few weeks?" He smirks and reaches into his pocket.

"This is for you."

"What is it?" I ask, staring at the dirty, folded up piece of paper.

"It's a letter, from your father."

"I don't want it. Throw it away." I shake my head. I might not know what I am doing with my life anymore but I do know one thing, I don't want to see, hear from, or speak to my father ever again.

"I think you might want to take it Avery." He sighs and steps closer. "Your father killed himself in his cell late last night."

My arms drop at my side. He's dead? I shake my head. I must be dreaming. This isn't real.

"Officers found him just after he did it but it was already too late to save him. He will be buried in the morning."

I nod my head.

"He, uh, I suppose this is his suicide note."

"Did you read it?" I ask simply, needing to know.

"I did." He admits. "Is he wasn't a criminal, I wouldn't have. But I wouldn't be doing my job if I let potential evidence be unseen."

I nod. "What does it say?"

"That's not for me to say." He laughs softly. "He wanted you to read it. So I'm going to let you read it."

He holds out the piece of paper for me again, wishing for me to take it from him. I sigh and take the piece of paper, holding it between two of my fingers, staring at it. This little piece of paper could say anything.

"I should get going." John smiles and places a hand on my shoulder. I shy away from his touch. He nods and places his hand in his pocket before turning to leave.

Author's note: what do you guys think the note says?