RE: I AM NOT AN OMEGA!

CHAPTER 4 PART 2

Have you read that manga called Animal X something? I keep forgetting how it went, but now, rereading it, it's coming back to me.  I keep thinking; everywhere, whether reality or fictitious universe whether weaved with words or pictures. The struggle to not only survive, but leave a mark as a testament of your own existence and as a means be remembered remains the same.
One thing that makes me sick about Animal X, is how many babies the Uke had to give up. The first baby he gave up was a human girl. She was found shredded and iced for research.  Wonder if I can kill the characters that are flickering inside my head. Um um um um...It's hard. His first man was my most favorite.
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What is this?
Gaines felt his sense of awareness slamming back inside himself. He was unable to gather his fleeting thoughts. His mind which seems to float aimlessly between his own repeating fantasy world and the memories of those numerous books he read was suddenly and rudely stilled.
Was I only escaping reality by reading those books in the library?
I'm still jittery around people.
A varied of yellow eyes. A varied of hidden thoughts out in the open. He couldn't help but think how naked he felt under them. His ears was burning under the pressure. His eyes glisten with unshed tears, nausea was rising from his belly like a tsunami wave.
Gaines didn't know if it was the crowd of werewolves but he subconsciously took a few steps back then froze. His big brother was sitting with his friends playing a video game surrounded by unfamiliar faces of teenagers. His aunt was with other well dressed and modest looking women. His grandfather was in a heated debate with another old man. He stopped at Kai's back as it slowly moved through the crowd yet he disappeared quickly to the backyard where the smell of smoke and serenaded meat was wafting from. There was some kids voices coming from there.
"So that is the Omega born to the Alpha Lineage" he heard a woman whispered amidst the loud chatters.
"There....his mother is an Omega."
"Fat kid..." a man muttered.
Was he suppose to hear that? His mind began to flow again and he blinked. Tension moved from his muscles to tangle into a ball inside his chest as he began to search for his mother and father. He had completely forgotten about the intricacies of the Werewolf communities. All he knew was that they played major roles here. They, the werewolves, held power and influence in the human society. They are stronger, faster, smarter, and almost undefeated. Their regeneration ability and health is inhumane. No wonder. It would be strange if they feared humans as depicted in many shows and books in this world. But he was having a hard time recalling the details of their hierarchical structure.
he decided it may be a good idea to look for a book about it tonight if he can't fall asleep.
Though, there are hints in the children's books he read, a consistent pattern where Alphas are fathers and Omegas are mothers just as his household demonstrated. He can infer Omegas are always expected to take the female role and their traditional responsibilities, whether they look like a male or female.
His mother...himself...Omega
Alpha..
There are different sexes than males and females?
Is there a stigma somewhere?
The days within the library had converged into a day for him without even realizing himself. All the accumulation of knowledge began to tear in the face of self doubt.
Why was he brought to this complicated world?
His eyes could not help straying. Taking in the decor and the people lounging or milling around. He was like a skittish rat in the crowd of cats.
He sighed the moment he got out of that stuffy space. He felt the cool breeze. A reminiscence of the summer season on Earth. The red sun was going down soon. Brilliant shades of dark to orange, maroon, and yellow washed the clear blue sky which was growing darker by the hour.
"Little Juda" his grandmother was probably an Omega too.
"Come come sit with grandmama"
He was out of breath by the time he sat down. Trying to find a comfortable position, Gaines settled himself on the wooden chair and leaned back. The huge and thick tree shaded the glaring light and heat. His face was flushed, but his eyes were calm as a cup of orange juice, sweat shone on his hair and face, dampening his shirt and short. His grandmother gave him her lilac scented handkerchief from her shirt pocket and told him to wipe his sweat when he sat down. He did not pay her attention as he was busy searching for his parents.
He saw his mother was sitting near the barbecue pit with his father poking the skewers. They seem to be deep into their conversations, not watching their surroundings.
He was silent then turn away from them. He watched the kids along with his grandmother, who caught two boys beginning to fight over a toy and was shouting at them to compromise. When they did not relent to each other, she got up to break them up. He ended up seeing a girl who was standing a few feet behind his grandmother, push a boy to the ground.
The girl ran into the house the moment the little boy started bawling loudly.
His grandmother turn around to coax the crying child, picking him up and held him to her breast and rubbing his back. The two boys who got scolded, bolted away as soon as she turned away and Gaines imagined in amusement, that they came together under a tacit agreement as he saw how they ran at the same time towards the swings when they saw their chance to escape the old nag.
He glimpse his brother swinging with his cape flying. He was standing on the swing flying higher and higher, shouting atop his lungs and laughing.
There was excited cheers reverberating the house.
"My favorite grandchild is here at last! Grandmama will go see how that child has been. Little Juda you been good. Wait for your present at home!"
His grandmother was still holding the boy in her arms as she shuffled towards the house.
He saw both his parents perk up and a few men he noticed standing around another pit took over the barbecue pit as they got up to go greet his cousin.
He was hungry after half an hour sitting in a daze.
So he move to the pit slowly, working up the courage to ask the four men for some ribs only to see the mouthwatering mountain of meat in nine large coolers .
"Um...", just as he opened his mouth, the skinny one out of the four men noticed him first and quickly piped up nervously.
"Ah! You can get as much as you want in that ice chest there young master!"
"U..."
"Mill, he probably wants you to pick them up for him" the younger looking one cautiously pointed out.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! Please tell me which to get for you!"
"Mill, I'll do it" the man was rolling the skewers suddenly said and signaled for the other one beside him to take over.
"Uhh thanks Izawa" Mill retreated behind the bear like man who's gaze met Gaines's intensely.
"What'll it be little one?"
"I-Izawa!" Mill sounded in warning.
"Pe-pe-lpleaselet umm can I get one"
"Speak clearly, my ears are not as good as a wolf"
"Oh! Sorry sir, I-I said I want one no! Um five baby ribs then those ones in fives also, mmm also chicken those drumsticks, those three skewers also, uh wanna try all of these different vegetables they look different than green peppers and red peppers...mm oh I can get it myself too..." his voice grew smaller when he saw the plate was overflowing with too many meat. Some of them fell back down the mouth of the cooler.
In the end, two of the human men had eleven plates with each kind of dishes other than the barbecued meats.
They were laid out on a foldable wooden table one of the men ran to go get it out from the shed.
Ravenous, Gaines was stuffing himself alone.
There were less kids as many of them ran to the house, curious of the excited noises in the house.
Faintly, he heard the heated whispers between the four human men.
"You still haven't learned anything Izawa"
"So what. " the bear like man grunted "Leo, these are just animals. They can also die."
"Shit! Shut up or they'll hear you! You're really looking for death" Leo hissed and the younger and cautious one looked around frantically, trembling on his feet.
"Izawa..you...you're sleeping outside tonight. I don't care if you fall ill" Mill harshly jabbed Izawa.
They fell into a gloomy silence .
"Excuse me...can um can I get my meat to be thoroughly cooked?"
"Oh okay"
"Also....please be careful"
"Thank you young master please forgive Izawa for his rude behavior"
"It is Gaines"
"What?"
"I mean my name is Juda"

"A blessing to meet you Moon child of the Goddess, Juda"
"Uhhh...thank you"
"Where are your parents Juda?"
"They went inside a moment ago. They were just sitting here several minutes ago"
"Oh so you must be that child they talk about"
"What do you mean?"
"Um forgive me if I may sound rude young master are you an Alpha?"
"No. According to everyone. I am an Omega. Why?"
"Do you know what an Omega wolf is?"
"...Yes. I do"
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I don't know why but I'm reminded of how awkward I make conversations. I speak so soft and quiet that they end up trying to guess what I'm trying to say. It can make my conversations with people I talk to take a weird turn.
It may be because I hid away in my room since the beginning of High school year to now, reading too many  mangas, stories, and watching too many anime.