FREEDOM | Changbin + Felix

Note(s)book | siebzehn

It's a friday evening and as usual, Minho and Jisung are hanging out on a date at the mall, both looking up for their new couple ring. Their wedding is supposed to be in six months, nearing the end of the schools activities for Jisung, which means that him, Felix and all the others senior high schoolers will be graduating together, the only cutie left would be Jeongin, since he is the youngest among the eight of them, his senior year will only be next year.

"Sunggie..." Minho whined while yawning and pulling Jisung's sleeve, sniffing a little bit and pouting cutely, making his fiance go crazy over his fluff ball. "Minho is tired... Minho wanna go home..." He completed, hugging his lover and hiding his face on the latter's neck, ending up receiving pats on the head from the boy along with lots and lots of kisses on his face.

"Everything you want, baby..." Jisung said, patting now his back and holding his hand, heading towards the (hell)elevator to reach the parking lot and go home. "We can look whenever you want for the ring that you like, okay? It's everything at your time, at your own pace, love..." He kissed the older's forehead.

These days their group of friends would each take turns on sleeping at Felix's house, no one can let him alone, because you never know what that boy can do if he gets alone for too much time. That's why today was the almost-married-couple's turn to do so and that's where they were heading to.

While Jisung drove, Minho remembered something really important that he forgot to tell him.

"Hey... I forgot to tell you..." Minho yawned, putting his hands on his own mouth to contain his sleepiness. "...I walked on Haeun today at University... I didn't know this, but apparently she is studying psychology in there too..." He said, making Jisung sigh. "...That's why I had never seen her before. I go to the arts department and she goes to the medical health part, they're too far away from each other... But the thing is not this..." The one driving started to care more about the subject. "...The thing is what she told me... I think all of us would want to know this..."

"What did she tell you? If it's about Changbin, we better not tell Felix about it. He would go crazy, this is really delicate for him." Jisung replied, sighing and now paying total attention.

"W-Well... She told me that Changbin is living alone now... The rest of the family moved back here in Seoul, but Changbin was left alone in Busan!" Minho finally let out and Jisung pressed the breaks furiously while pulling over in front of Felix's house.

"WHAT?!" Jisung turned to his fiance with watery eyes and Minho started crying.

"S-She told me that he asked us to read the notes that he left on our notebooks last year..." Minho cried even more, this time unbuckling up his seat belt and jumping on Jisung's arms since he already was free from his seat belt. "...I don't know why, Sunggie... I really don't... She said she didn't know why nor what it was, but she said it must be something important..." Jisung only nodded and left the car when Minho had stopped crying and had calmed down, holding his hand and entering the house where all the others where together with Felix, watching a movie on the living room's TV. The only one that was absent lately was Jeongin since he was in Busan visiting his family.

Minho got the now skinny Felix on his arms, availing that the boy was asleep and going to his room with him. The older placed the sleeping cutie on his bed and let him comfortable while he turned to look for his things from last year. Thank God him and Jisung maintained everything because of the tests they had to take at the end of the year last year.

On the other hand, Jisung was talking to everyone about what happened while holding back his tears, preventing himself from crying more than he already had cried inside the car.

"...And now Minho must be looking for our notebooks to see what 'you know who' wrote in them... His sister said that it was important so..." Jisung explained everything and finally let his tears roll down, now receiving hugs from Seungmin and Chan.

"We need to know what's going on soon to get those cuties together again... Felix clearly needs him..." Seungmin said, now hugging his crying boyfriend Hyunjin and patting his head.

The silence that had taken over the place was now cut off by Minho's steps with both notebooks in hand, him running towards the group comforting each other, everyone crying.

"Please... Y'all need to read this..." Minho said crying even more. Falling on the floor crying after handing Chan the notebooks. In each of them, the last page contained what seemed to be the lyrics for a song. Minho's one had the first half and Jisung's the second half, both completing one another's part.

And it said:

I've been thinking 'bout my life
Is it better if I die
Before I fall asleep forever
I'm trying to find feeling within this nothingness
I've been thinking 'bout my life
Is it better if I die
Before I fall asleep forever
I'm trying to find feeling within this nothingness
1999, the year I was born
I chose the pen since 100-day
But for 3 years I'm struggling,
I do hip hop,
I write down the lyrics
Learnt after 3 years of hardships
Not eloquent or overdone,
But simply me,
The truthful me
Usually I drag along Written with all of my heart
Even If I don't choose a topic
Every moment becomes one
'There's no reason for living'
I have trust in that
In the future my lyrics are collected Criticized by those around me

(a/n: yes, I'm using his verses on 3RACHA's song named 42. I was listening to it while writing this)

And at the end of the lyrics, there were some post-its glued to the back cover of Jisung's notebook.

And they said:

Once I get alone, I'll do everything I can to end my own life.
This way, no one will suffer anymore.
No one.
Specially the person that now is my sunshine,
the love of my entire life,
the person that makes me happy just by existing,
the person that showed me what love really meant,
the person that awoke the feelings in me,
the person that is my hero since always,
the person that awoke myself from the dungeon that I was trapped into,
and this person is, of course, the one and only:
Lee Felix.

Felix's name and the words love, feelings and hero were written in a red color, different from the rest that was in a black color. Changbin really thought about everything. He thought about leaving these notes to them so they would know what was about to happen to him. He thought about leaving without anyone knowing besides his friends and his lover, the only people that he actually cared about. His sister didn't know because if he had told her, she would freak out and make a mess, eventually disturbing his plans.

All the boys started freaking out, they didn't know if he was already dead or not, they didn't know what to do nor how to act, but most importantly: they didn't know how the fuck they would tell Felix the 'news' they just had read.

It was at this moment when Jeongin called Chan, not knowing about anything that had just happened in there since he was in his hometown Busan. Wait. Wasn't Changbin living in Busan?

"JEONGIN, PLEASE TELL FAST WHAT YOU WANT, WE'RE FREAKING OUT HERE! WE GOT YOU NEWS! BAD ONES! REALLY BAD!" Chan shouted, his voice totally filled with sadness, his tone different from his usual one. Just when Chan clicked on the button for the speakers, Jeongin started shouting something.

"IT'S CHANGBIN, CHAN! I FOUND HIM IN HERE!" Everyone froze, Jisung shouting a 'what' and Jeongin started explaining again. "ME AND MY DAD WERE JUST HANGING OUT IN OUR NEW CAR IN HERE WHEN WE ALMOST RAN OVER SOMEONE AND THAT SOMEONE IS CHANGBIN!"

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a/n:
Hi, I love you guys
Sorry for the cliffhanger, I swear next chapter everything will be explained <3

Thoughts? <3