I Can't Find The Words To Say GOODBYE

5

"You. Eat. Wag mong hintaying subuan pa kita para lang maubos mo yang breakfast mo?"

Yes. I'm here at Jacob's place and we're now having a breakfast. Sino ba namang mawawalan ng gana kung harap mo ang isang demonyo? Hinayaan ako ni Ken na nandito at iyon ang ikinasama ng loob ko. Hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko ang nangyari kagabi.

"Finally you're here, akala ko didikit ka pa dun sa lalaki na yun. Just let them get your things and lets talk at my office." bungad nya sakin.

"Why would I? I'm tired, gimme a nap." i answered coldly.

"I dont fvcking care. You go or I'll drag you until we get into my office?" he warned. Wala na akong nagawa. I'm not afraid pero ayoko namang kaladkarin nya ako.

He handed me a brown envelop.

"Nandyan lahat ng kaylangan mong gawin. You need to accomplish all of those until the end of the contract. At dahil 18 ka na, you can do whatever you want so walang kaso kung gagawin mo lahat yan, either legal or illegal."

I dont know what to say. All of these should be accomplished. Organizational meeting, company meeting, client meeting, trainings, and most specially, my JOB.

"Kelangan ba talaga lahat ito? Which of these are legal and illegal?" i asked him. Naguguluhan kasi talaga ako. I don't even know what to do when it comes to this." Atsaka, sabi mo na rin, 18 na ko, so I can do whatever I want. I can reject these all and go back home."

He smirked. " Go home. Sige, umuwi ka. Gusto mo bang makitang bumabaha ng dugo sa bahay ninyo? Oh come on, Lovely, I know you won't let that happen so what's the use of running away?"

"I'm not hungry. Besides, mamamatay na din naman ako so what's the use of eating these piece of shit? And mind you, hindi mo ako pag aari para i-command mo ng ganyan so don't act as if you own me." nag-iba ang expression ng mukha nya.

"Ikaw bahala. Hindi ko na cargo kapag namatay ka ng dilat ang mata. Why? Because you're not worth of my sympathy. Pero dahil mabait ako, sige ako na magbabayad ng funeral at burial mo." he smirked.

Siraulo pala 'to eh. Ako? Not worth of his sympathy? So what! I don't even care, gusto ko nang umuwi. "I'm done. Wala na 'kong gana mag-breakfast. Nakakumay ka."

"Ang sabihin mo nagagwapuhan ka lanh sa'kin. Aminin mo na babe, I'm handsome, you're beautiful, isn't it a perfect match?" he smirked again. Aba! Ang hangin ah!

"Excuse me? Saan naman banda? And besides, mas gwapo pa ang boyfriend ko sayo. Wag ka ngang mayabang!" sigaw ko na ikina-iba naman ng aura nya.

"Wag na wag mong babanggitin ang taong yan sa pamamahay ko. Walang lugar ang bawat letra na bumubuo sa pangalan ng hayop na yan dito." tiim-bagang nyang sabi.

Bago pa ako nakapagsalita ay tinalikuran na nya ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero parang may mali. Ang daming tanong, hindi ko naman ang alam ang eksaktong kasagutan. Speaking of Isaias, I miss him. Kinuha ko ang phone ko at sinubukan syang tawagan.

Matapos ng ilang ring ay sinagot nga rin agad.

"Hello? Baby? Ikaw ba yan? Hey, are you ok? Where are you?" umiiyak nyang sabi. Wait? Is he drunk? Oh my...

Hindi ako pwedeng magpaapekto pero hindi ko kayang maging ganito sa kanya. "Isaias." pikit-mata kong sabi. I was biting my lip to prevent myself from crying.

"B-baby... Please bumalik ka na. Nahihirapan na kong wala ka. Sabi ko naman kasi sayo kapag nawala ka mamamatay ako diba? Baby parang awa mo na, don't do this to me, p-please." something inside me wants to scream and cry out loud. Ayokong maging mahina, ayokong masira ang lahat. Ayokong may masaktan. Mahirap, lalo na si Isaias ang pinaguusapan.

"I just called to assure that all of you there are ok. That's all. Bye" and I ended the call.

Kahit na anong mangyari, sya pa din ang mahal ko. I found myself sitting on the couch while crying, hard. Hindi ko kaya na malayo sa kanya, sa pamilya ko, at sa mga taong malalapit sa akin.

I will end this. I will start the change tomorrow. And I will assure that this will end, soon.