Finding His Cinderella

Chapter 28

We're all like moths, attracted to things that'd destroy us by burning. We ignore the good and run for the bad. Then we cry buckets of tears when the person we thought loved us, was in reality just playing around. And when they flow streams of water down their faces, when they say 'I would change', we're so pathetically in love with them that without a second thought, without going deeper into the issues that shatter our hearts, we offer them a knife  and place our hearts in their palms. So, aren't we to blame for when that person pricks it day after day until we turn empty and hide away from the world?

I don't know for how long my gaze has been pasted to the ceiling. I should probably blink so my eyes don't get dehydrated, but I cannot manage even that much of energy.

Just for a second, a second when I thought now that I'll open up the gates of my heart, I'd be welcoming happiness. Instead, my heart is heavy with years of pain I kept on piling up and locking it away. It has finally filled to the top and it is making me hard to breathe. I wait for the tears to come, because they always make an appearance when one is alone with their heart.

Right now, mine is telling me all kinds of stuff; kill yourself, end it right away so this pain could vanish away, your own friends stabbed you, Leah, why continue to live now? I can't be merciless, it whispers. I can't take your suffering away because even after what we both have been through, you still care.

But then the voices in my head swallow the comfort of my heart. Your love and affection makes you pathetic, Leah. You still care for your friends despite what they put you through! You dropped out of school because you were going insane, yet you still have the decency to give them one more chance? End it. You're pathetic and this world doesn't need people like you. What lives on this Earth are monsters with the identity of a person; cruel, ruthless, selfish.

End it end it end it end it end it

And then they finally come, like an acid that burns me in it's wake. The burning doesn't stop, because the tears keep falling onto my pillow.

This—this tightness in my chest—it just won't let me breathe. Why did Trevor come back? Who gave him the right to control my emotions? It's like he has my heart in his hand, and he cannot help but squeeze it slowly, moment after moment until blood drips out. I think he doesn't even realise the fact that his presence now only saddens me.

Until I reach for my phone from the nightstand and call Bilkees. For some reason, I cannot subside the silent shaking.

"Oh my God, am I dreaming? Did Leah really just called me? Ah, I feel special."

She just ripped open my heart by with those sweet words. I don't deserve her. What an understatement.

I try to say something, but it never happens. Not being able to hold it in, I break out in loud cries. To muffle them, I press a hand against my mouth. The last thing I would think of is my family barging in my room.

"What happened, baby girl?" she asks in a soft murmur.

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands.

"He—he returned. Trevor is back, and I don't know a thing about any of this—Bilkees—Bilkees I feel like I'm drowning and nobody's saving me and I will just drown in this darkness and there's no way out." She would most probably be freaking out by my hysterical crying.

"Sweetheart, what difference does it make? He's back, so yeah whatever. Be cool about it. Didn't you think he'd come back? His family lives here, Lee." She yells at her siblings to shut up. Then, she draws in a deep breath. "You don't know he might be going through a lot difficult time than you, girly. He lived in a foreign country for all these years, alone I may add, and never once did he contact anyone here. Try to think it from his perspective also, and remember that he also owns a heart that might be broken. He might be broken."

It's scary how fast her words wash over a form of comfort for me, how the tension seeps out from my skin in huge waves.

"I wish you were here," I whisper, coiling the ends of my hair around my finger as my tears stop.

I can hear the smile in her voice. And the sadness. "I miss you more. Pakistan misses you. You better be coming to meet me before getting married."

"About that. . . I might be calling the wedding off."

I could practically see her mouth hanging open, her eyes widening in horror. The silent gasp was somehow amusing to me.

"You better be joking! Lee, Hunter is a very decent man and he'd always keep you happy!"

I want to tell her that no matter how much I try to be happy, I always end up getting disappointed. Then I wonder, maybe I am the whole reason behind everything. Maybe I'm just too damn obsessed with my own self that I don't try to look out of my own boundaries, how others suffer for survival harder than I do.

I decide to not say it, though.

"I don't know. I'm so young for this, don't you think? I have a whole life ahead of me and do I really want to take a step in something I have zero idea about?" I ask honestly.

She sighs heavily. "You're right. Maybe try taking part in some activities or maybe you could work somewhere—yes! That'll be helpful. And perhaps you'd meet some handsome boys," she giggles.

I chuckle softly. "Right."
———-
I'm working on trying to write longer chapters. . . if that's what you guys want? *puppy dog face*
Do you all miss me? *pouts*
I miss you all, though.