Loving the Size | Chanbaek

Tired

Byun Baekhyun was tired. All he wanted to do was to lay in his own bed and quit pretending to be someone else. His ears were numb from the pounding and blaring music. The vibrations from the speakers jumbled throughout his body, and he was hoping that it would soon end.

Makeup was heavily put onto his face to cover his flaws and blemishes, like the small forms of acne that was beginning to form on random places on his face, or the very deep bags that rested just under his eyes.

He hated not being able to wear any sweatpants anymore, or that people expected certain things from him. He found it irritable that he was expected to wear super skinny jeans that were so tight he felt that every time he was about to sit, that they would rip. With the jeans, it was always some kind of dress shirt that was in style. He could no longer wear his overly large t-shirts, or sweaters that would present him with paws over his hands.

No, everyone calculated Byun Baekhyun and expected too much from the small college student.

One look at Baekhyun and the numerous hickies decorating his neck, people would automatically assume that he was a slut. And maybe they were right. But Baekhyun didn't seem to think of himself as a whore. He was just someone who didn't know how to say no. And his boyfriend knew that.

Baekhyun was sitting in the far corner of some club he never bothered to remember the name of. He hated to go, but he just didn't know how to tell Kris that he just wanted to stay in his dorm with his roommate and his weirdly attractive friend. And if Kris ever found out that he found someone else attractive, he wouldn't know what to do. Would Kris do something to Chanyeol? Would he do something to Baekhyun? Of course he would, Baekhyun knew first hand.

Lips lingered at Baekhyun's throat as the small male did his best not to cringe. He felt disgusting whenever Kris touched him. It wasn't that Kris wasn't attractive or anything, but Baekhyun never found a spark or bond with him. Call Baekhyun a romantic, but he always thought that there should be some sort of electricity. And he just couldn't feel that with Kris. And he made him feel terrible.

Baekhyun tried to shrug his boyfriend off, a frown on his face, "Can we not do this tonight? I'm not feeling up to it."

The lips stopped their kissing and sucking, "Not feeling up to it?"

Kris moved back from his boyfriend's throat, his eyes were drawn up into the most frightening glare that Baekhyun has ever encountered.

"I—I'm not, sorry." Baekhyun muttered, his eyes moving to his lap to avoid looking at his newly peeved boyfriend.

"You've been saying that for the pass week!"

Baekhyun flinched at the sudden raise of voice. Kris has already been yelling over the music so that Baekhyun could hear him, but his volume had increased and it really scared Baekhyun.

Hands gripped onto Baekhyun's arms tightly and began to jerk him around, "I'm your boyfriend! You're suppose to do things like this with me!"

Baekhyun closed his eyes tightly, a sob escaping his lips. He didn't want him. He always hated when this happened.

"Oh, now you're going to start crying? You're such a baby. I can't believe you!"

More sobs escaped the boy. Tears streamed down his cheeks, makeup smearing. He only clenched his eyes tighter. He was wishing for everything to go away.

"You know what? I'll just find someone else to pleasure me tonight, since someone won't do it." Kris spoke gruffly, squeezing Baekhyun's arms tighter before he let go, pushing him away.

Kris moved to stand up, to walk away into deeper parts of the club. But Baekhyun was quick to grab onto his hand before he could walk away.

"I—I'm sorry. I'm being selfish, aren't I?" Baekhyun gulped. He forced his eyes open and gave his best attempt at a seductive look, "Please let me pleasure my boyfriend."

Baekhyun felt disgusted with himself. But what was he to do? He had no one else. It was always him and Kris. Kris has been his first everything: friend, boyfriend, kiss, first time. Baekhyun didn't know anything else.

He quickly lifted his hand to wipe under his eyes, trying to clean up his runny makeup the best that he could. He bit onto his bottom lip, continuing to give his look to Kris.

"Let's just go get a room, okay? You know I don't like people seeing our intimate time."

Kris scoffed, "If I want to fuck you in the middle of a club, then I will."

He did. And Baekhyun had never wanted to end his life so much as he did then.

A/N:

So this is Baekhyun's life. I thought I should add this so people don't start slut shaming him or anything in this story. Baekhyun and Kris's relationship is actually based off of my first relationship. Some of the stuff didn't happen, like the club, since I only recently turned 18, but umm yeah. So please don't slut shame Baekhyun in this story.