One Shots

I'm Always Here For You - Sebastian Stan

I know this is in first person, but it's you. So, just tellin' ya.

I just came home from school. It's been a rough day once again. The bullies in my school haven't stopped bullying me yet. Wow, what a surprise!

I had a math test today and I did terrible. I'm gonna get a F. Then my parents will be pissed off and I'll get grounded.

My whole life has always been only downhill. Only good thing in my life is good parents. My father is just sometimes home, but when he is, he is the best father ever. His name is Sebastian Stan.

My mother goes to work at the same time as I to school and comes home at 6 pm, so I've got some alone time. She's amazing. She's only a little bit, you know, bossy.

Now my father has been few days at home. He had finished filming a new movie and has some time to spent with us.

I open the front door and immediately I can smell food. I could get use to this. Usually when my father's away, I have to do the food when I come home from school.

"I'm home!" I exclaim as taking off my shoes and jacket.
I drop my schoolbag to the floor and walk into the kitchen.

Sebastian was in front of the stove cooking and turned around.
"Hey, baby girl." He says and closes me into a hug.
"What are you cooking?" I ask.

He turns to the stove again, before responding, "Chicken curry. I hope you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will." I say, and go to the upstairs, picking up my schoolbag on the way.
Once I got into my room, I collapsed on the bed.

Gawh, it's so difficult to pretend that I'm okay, although I'm not. I keep a smile on my face all day and when I finally get into my room alone, I can let the tears come. Soon I have no more tears to cry, though. I can already say that, because I can't always cry if I want to.
I'm basically dying from the inside.

I pull my sleeve down to show all my cuts. Wait, let me fix that. All my friends.
I wonder why my parents haven't questioned my long sleeved shirts even in the summer.
Speaking of summer. Summer is the hardest time to hide my cu– friends.

It's so darn hot in the summer here, you know. I feel like melting when I have a hoodie or something like that. But if I use a t-shirt... Everyone will see my cuts. And that's what I don't want.

I take my schoolbag and some books out of there. I don't have much homework today, luckily. Usually we get plenty of homeworks from maths, but we had the test soooo...

I start with geography and go all the way to English and physics.

Once I was done, Sebastian hasn't had called me for dinner yet, so I have some time for something. I got an idea, or well, I do it a lot nowadays.

I take out my razor and find some space from my hand for a few cuts.
"The dinner's ready!" My father calls.

I don't need to be there right away, right? I can finish this, and I already started.
I place the razor on my wrist and slide it on the skin of my arm. It isn't so painful when you get used to it.

Straight away blood came up from the cut.
I do another cut next to the first one. And then another. And another. I did it slowly, enjoying every moment.

I would have still continued this, if my father hasn't come inside and see what I was doing. I just appeared out of nowhere.

"Did you h—" he started, but cut off himself as he saw me. First thibg what happened was, that he went to a complete shock and I did the same. We stared each other for awhile. We couldn't speak.

Then he snapped out of the trance and rushed over to me, taking the razor out of my hand.
"Y/N, wha—" he starts, tears forming in his eyes, but I cut him off. "I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice cracking.

He traces his fingers over all my cuts slowly. "Why? A girl like this precious as you shouldn't do anything like this." He asks and a single tear drops down his cheek.
I've never seen him like this. This must be bad. Of course this is bad. Idiot.

"Be– because I deserve it. I– I enjoy it." I reply, whispering. I'm still shocked, so I'm not even able to cry yet.
He grabs my left hand gently and puts it in his right one. He puts his other hand on my cheek and caresses it lightly.

"No, no you don't deserve it. You deserve so much better than this. And you shouldn't enjoy it. Not at all. Is there any chance you could stop it? I want you to stop. Promise me you won't cut yourself ever again?
Why haven't I noticed this earlier? I should've. I'm a terrible father. I should do better. I should protect my sweet little baby girl..." He asks and speaks the rest mostly to himself.

"I– I can't promise you..." I say, and feel tears burning my eyes. "But you're not a terrible father. You're the best father ever. It's not you. It's me, you know?"

"Yes, I am. I should've seen the signs. I should've asked why you use only long sleeved shirts in the middle of the summer. I should've ask why you always refuse to go swimming. I should've known... And now we're here. Can you tell me why? What leaded to this?" He asks.

I think I'm crying only because he is crying. He's panicking. Like a lot. He's shocked and terrified.
I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. He hugs me back immediately very tightly.

"I'm being bullied at school. That's probably the biggest reason." I tell him.

"Why would they bully you?" he asks, caressing my head.

"I don't know. They just– they know I'm weak. I'm an easy target." I reply. It's true. I am an easy target. I just stand there and take all inside what they throw at me. Even punches.

"Why haven't you told me?" He asks, pulling away.
He's probably the first person who doesn't make me unfomfortable by questioning things. It might be even easy to talk to him.

"I thought I could get through this by myself..." I say, lowering my head.
"You know that you're not alone, right? I'm always here for you, no matter what. I've been through the same." He tells me. I didn't even know that he's been through depression and anxiety? "I love you baby girl, you're the most important person to me. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. You can talk to me."

Then the first tears stream down my face. I wrap my arms around him, burying my face to his chest as I cry.
"Shh, everything's alright." He speaks softly and caresses my back.

"I'm always here for you."