IMPOSSIBLE | JIKOOK ✔

05

225 words

_________

PJM

jungkook...

from what used to be a feeling of warmth that came from the mention of your name

its nothing now -

nothing but the same old butterflies that make my abdomen swell

and my mind burst.

i've become numb to everything - 

but you.

i can't feel anything - 

but you.

everyone's left me - 

but you.

everyone's gone - 

but you.

yesterday I came home - 

only for the little sanity I had left,

to be completely wrenched out of my iniquitous heart.

she's dead.

mina's gone.

and...

its because of me; 

I was never there when she needed me,

was always far, far away -

always caught up in my own misery to ever see how my little sister was holding up,

how my angel was doing.

imagine -

just imagine the sheer and utter feeling of solitude creep up to your back,

and stab you there,

churn its claws around in your wound,

and leave you there, bleeding out sanity.

lost.

afraid.

alone.

she needed warmth and protection from this harsh world - 

and I couldn't provide her it.

and because I hadn't,

she had lost all hope in shouting out for help,

had lost reasons to live as she counted down from ten to see if anyone could aid to her wounds.

when she reached one,

she realised that nobody was there.

that nobody was going to come.

and gave in to her thoughts, 

her emotions.

the void of insanity within her. 

and I didn't even realise...

--

I want to go soon too.