IMPOSSIBLE | JIKOOK ✔

29 - forever

703 words

______

JJK

hyung, i-

i don't want this life anymore.

it's like I've never mattered or have been cared for - 

and everything is starting to slowly sink in.

it's funny,

funny how emotional pain, at some point, becomes physical.

hyung, my body

it's - 

it's unresponsive,

it's so hard to move,

to get out of bed, 

or even do the things that i used to be able to do,

when they ask me if I'm hurt,

i guess I'm too weak - 

too scared - 

to admit that I'm not.

it's so evident

so pointless - 

but nobody really looks through the smiles,

or the way that it doesn't really reach my eyes.

and everything's starting to hit me.

hyung, 

your death -

it's opened my eyes in a way - 

really has made me see how fucking cold the world is.

how stupid I was to love it - 

to want to live in it.

it's been a month.

a whole fucking month - 

filled with nothing but misery, tears and the sound of my heart breaking in my ears

how are you, hyung?

have you found your peace?

it must be wonderful, right?

it must feel amazing to finally be free and soar across the sky - 

looking down at everyone and everything.

you know how we promised to be together forever?

i've realised that that was your forever.

so really,

thank you

thank you for staying for your forever - 

for as long as you could,

do you forgive me for being so stupid?

do you forgive me for not seeing how much you wanted this?

needed this?

why did you leave without taking me with you?

hell,

I should have gone with you

so that we could have entered the galaxy together.

we could have be so happy together,

up there.

are you waiting for me?

heh,

im sure you are,