Joanne through the years.

What Happened That Night

"I thought she was dead for sure."
"She just kind of disappeared."
"She was right behind us but she must have gone back for Joe."
"I miss Joe."
"Can we not talk about him again.  You'll only make me cry."
I could hear voices.  I didn't know whose they were but I didn't care.  I didn't care about anything anymore.  My eyes fluttered open.  The oxygen mask had been removed but there were still numerous wires and tubes attached to me.
"Hey Di" a voice said.  I looked around.  Caspar, Josh, Mikey, Oli, Byron, Jack and Conor were around my bed.  Their eyes were puffy from crying and Jack had a pair of crutches leaning against his chair.  All this did was make me cry because I knew that if Joe was still alive then they would be around his bed and not mine.
"Hey, don't cry" Byron wiped my tears away.  I just cried more.  The boys looked helplessly at one another.
"You're gonna be fine" Mikey smiled weakly.
"I'm not crying for myself.  I'm crying for Joe" I burst out angrily before putting my head in my hands and crying again.
"We've known Joe for years.  He's strong.  He'll pull through this."
"But he's dead" I burst into a fresh wave of tears.  Josh pulled my hands away from my face.
"Joes not dead Di.  He's just in a critical condition.  He's got severe burns and he cant breathe on his own and he's had to have surgery to get that bullet out of his leg but he might be okay.  The doctors are doubting right now because of how bad the burns are and the fact that his lungs wont work by themselves but its only been 12 hours or so.  He might make a full recovery."
"So he's not dead?" I asked.  Josh shook his head and I hugged him tightly. "Thanks Josh.  I thought he was dead.  So where is he?"
"In a different ward.  Nobody's been allowed to see him and you most definitely won't" Mikey rested a hand on my shoulder.  I leant back against my pillows.
"I feel so different now.  Like, full of hope" I declared.  The boys grinned at each other. "So what happened to the rest of Joes family?" I asked.
"Well, Zoe got out of hospital pretty quickly whenever the hospital got the news that Joe was in a critical condition.  Joes mum, Tracey has been found.  She was underneath the floor boards. She's in the hospital right now.  Turns out she's not too bad herself.  It was just Graham who beat the heck out of the kids.  He used to beat Tracey too so I have a feeling that she'll get custody of the kids.  Graham scarpered but the police caught him trying to board a boat to France" Josh told me.  Anger boiled inside me.  I was so angry at Graham.
"What will he go down for?" I asked.
"Hmmm probably abuse, attempted murder and depending on the outcome of Joe...murder." The whole room went quiet.  None of us spoke again.  The boys left around twenty minutes later and my dad arrived but I didn't say much to him and thankfully, he didn't expect me to.  I fell asleep after a while.  I didn't sleep very well with the pain, worry and the sense of loneliness that I hated.  I was never going to forget today.  As I fell back asleep again my thoughts landed on Joe.  If he didn't make it then I wasn't sure what I would do. All I knew was that he had to live or else I couldn't.
*
I woke up the next day feeling slightly better than I had before.  Then I remembered.  I remembered that Joe was on his death bed.  I sat straight up in bed.
"Are you alright love?" a nurse who had been fiddling with the wires going into me asked.
"I need to ask you a question" I clutched onto her wrist.
"Well ask away.  I can't promise that I'll know the answer but I'll give it my best shot" she smiled at me.
"The other boy that was stuck in the building with me..." I began.  Her face darkened.  I continued. "Will he be okay and when can I see him?"
She looked sadly at me. "I'm sorry love but I highly doubt that he is going to make it.  He's in a pretty bad condition right now.  As for you seeing him...it is out of question."
My eyes filled with tears. "But if he's going to die then I really want to see him one last time" I pleaded but the nurse shook her head.
"A few years ago my mum was in a terrible fire and the hospital said she wasn't going to make it. She was in a coma and with little chance of waking up, so rather like that friend of yours.  My brothers and I decided not to go see her because we knew that she was burnt pretty badly and had tons of tubes and all sorts sticking into her. We wanted our last memories of her to be the happy times we shared and whenever she wasn't injured.  I'm so glad I made that decision.  My last memory with her is us laughing on the beach.  I wouldn't change my decision for the world."
"But he's strong.  He wont die.  I know he wont.  He'll hang in there" I said confidently.
"Yes he is hanging in there for longer than we expected but he's suffering.  Even in his unconscious state he is in a lot of pain.  Some people will fight a loosing battle to survive because they are afraid of upsetting the people that care about them.  My mother tried.  So my dad went in and talked to her.  She wasn't awake but I still believe that she could hear us.  He told her that he was so proud of her and if she had to go then she should because he loved her so much and he hated to see her suffering. He and the kids would be fine and we wouldn't forget her.  She died minutes later.  She had obviously felt that we would be okay if she left this world so, she did."
"Doesn't your dad ever feel bad about it" I asked.
"Nope.  He did what was right.  My mum would never had recovered and neither will your friend. Its harsh but its true" she said as I burst into tears. "Maybe he's waiting for someone to tell him to let go.  He's always lacked a bit of love in his life.  Maybe he's waiting on you to tell him what he needs to know before he can finally rest.  Perhaps he's worried about you and wont die until he knows that your safe.  We'll never know."
"We'll know when he wakes up" I sobbed.  The nurse looked at me pitifully.  "Please can I see him?"
She gave me a kind smile. "I'll see what I can do" she then left the room.
I didn't have much company for the rest of the day.  My parents and brother flitted in and out and a few nurses and doctors visited occasionally but not one of the rest of my friends came to visit me as school had started again.  I was quite sure that they were probably getting bombarded with questions right now.  I spent a large portion of the day, pouring over pictures of Joe and me. I really did love him.  I had told him and he had said that he loved me but maybe he didn't really mean it.  Maybe it was just because we were about to die.  Surely he wouldn't love me.  I fell asleep soon after and whenever I woke up I realised that all the tubes and wires had been taken out of me. The nurse that had spoke to me earlier was there with me.
"Any news?" I asked hopefully.
"His heart stopped momentarily but they got it going again.  You're doing great.  You should be free to go within the next few days.  You can possibly go see him once you've been cleared.  But remember that he might not still be here so don't get your hopes up" she patted me gently on the arm.  Just then Zoe walked in.
"Zoe!" I yelled and she ran over to me and gave me a massive hug.  The nurse smiled at me and left the room.
"Thanks Di" she whispered in my ear.
"For what?" I asked.
"For going back for Joe.  Even though he might die anyway...I'll forever be grateful for you saving his life.  And also for saving mine.  If you hadn't found me then I would be dead" She burst into tears.  I pulled her in for another hug. "I'm just so scared that Joe wont make it" she sobbed into my shoulder.
"Have you seen him yet?" I asked.  She shook her head.
"We're not allowed in yet.  I'm scared to see what he looks like.  I got a quick glimpse whenever he was in the back of the ambulance but he had an oxygen mask on and there were paramedics everywhere."
"How's Alfie" I changed the topic, not wanting to talk about Joe any longer.  Zoe looked upset again.
"He hasn't really talked to me much since the incident.  I think he's trying to give me space but I don't want it.  I want some love in my life.  Anyway.  I hear that you're moving back to Australia" she changed the subject again.   
"Umm yeah.  After exams."
We sat in silence for a bit longer before Zoe brought out some chocolate pretzels which we scoffed.  I was so glad to have something that wasn't hospital food.  I loved Zoe but she just wasn't the same as Joe.  I stared longingly at the door.  I just wanted to see him.  I didn't care what that nurse said.  I was going to see Joe and he was going to make it through this no matter what. 

A/N- So he's not dead.  I don't think I could actually do that to him.  Also, sorry that I haven't uploaded for a few days.  I had a few tests at school and things so I had to study.  I should really be studying right now for my maths test on Monday but...oh well.  Also.  I have a question.  

Should I write another Joanne fanfic?

  Obviously I'll continue on with this one but I feel a bit bad after leaving everyone hanging for four days. So I just wanted to know whether anyone would want to read another one.