As Told by Rosemary's Angry Phone

Chapter 4 - Homeward Bound

After the initial shock wore off, Rosemary woke up and got up off the floor. Luckily, this was between shifts, and no one heard her not so elegant fall.

Rosemary propped my screen up to face her. Her warm amber eyes squinted as she settled in front of me.

I have to admit it is nice to have a better view. Not everyone looks good at the particular angle I tend to view life at. (The tales I could tell of the nose hair and ear wax...but I digress.)

"So, um...I don't think a hospital is the best place for us to have this conversation. They are discharging me in a little bit. Maybe we could, uh... talk when we get back to the apartment?"

"Sounds like a smart idea."

Rosemary jumped a little when I spoke. I decided the tiny spark of glee that it brought was fine, not mean spirited at all.

"Uh, so what should I call you? Do your lot have names, or...um, designations of some kind?"

"Nice high point word there. Sure, I'm C-3PO...haha, no it's not. I prefer to be called Cece. It's better than my full name. Complex Electronic Computing Entity. A bit of a mouth full. I don't know what in the name of the fatherboard, my parents were thinking."

Rosemary scratched at her head. "So...Cece, how're we going to do this? I'll probably need to use, well...uh, your GPS to find my way home. What if someone sees me talking to you?"

"Calm down. I'm still a phone. It's fine to talk to me, or use the GPS to go home. But if it would make you feel better, put the Bluetooth in, and we can talk through that. No one is going to be weirded out by you talking to me."

"Yeah, yeah. You're right. Okay, let's go."

So with my assistance, Rosemary made her way home. Occasionally, she would ask about something she didn't remember. A place, or passing person that waved.

"That is the coffee place where you purchase your daily coffee to post to Instagram. They know you by now, so they don't even ask your name. Ms 'Tall Nonfat Latte, 2 Percent Foam'. Occasionally you go crazy and get a Caramel Macchiato, Venti, Skim, Extra Shot, Extra-Hot, Extra-Whip, Sugar-Free. You wild woman you."

Rosemary paused as she looked through the window. "Smells good. Not sure about that order though. How much is 2 percent foam? How would they even measure that? You must be joking."

"Nope. Here look at your post from a few weeks ago."

Rosemary's eyes widened as she looked at the post.

"No... really? This is the kind of things I post? I sound like I'm attention seeking. Or bored. Oh no...this is horrible."

"Imagine how I feel having to help you post your 'hashtag' this, or 'hashtag' that. Yeah, you're a bit of a hipster coffee snob. #coffeeislife #you'recoffeesucks. You should see the duck face posts of last year."

"No! No, thank you. Let's just keep going."

Rosemary stopped us outside the front of her building. She shaded her eyes as she looked up. "Well, I guess social media has been good to me."

"The sizeable inheritance you got from your father after he passed, probably helps quite a bit. Your mom sure knew how to pick them. Old, rich, and senile."

"That's kinda depressing. And I'm an only child?"

"Yep. You've never seemed to mind before. Oh, you should probably check your mail box. Just thought of it. Email is so much easier to remember."

Rosemary entered the code I gave her, so we could get into the building. She went to the side space where the mail boxes were located. Her box was full. Not with fan mail, or get well wishes. But with payments due.

Rosemary closed the small door with a sigh. "Well, this is great. I don't remember buying a thing. But I still owe for it."

"Eh, half of those you might be able to take back. Tags still on and all."

A person bumped into Rosemary, and jostled me from my spot in Rosemary's hand.

"Oh, eh...hi. Sorry about that." The clean cut bespectacled man muttered quickly as he walked through to get his mail.

"Oh, uh...yeah. I mean, no. Don't worry about it. I definitely shouldn't be taking up the entire space...well talking to my-talking to myself. Yes, myself. Um, I'm gonna go. Have nice day you!" Rosemary hurried up the stairs.

"What was that?"

"I know! I don't know what happened."

"That poor guy."

"Him?! Poor me. I couldn't get a word out properly. Who is that guy?" Rosemary huffed as she continued up the stairs. "Why'd I take the stairs? Laying in a hospital bed for days doesn't help your muscles."

"That is your neighbor Jim. He had a massive crush on you when he first moved in. You of course shot him down, repeatedly. And quite brutally if I'm honest. I hear great things about him from his Helper DEx though. Lovely Helper. Easy on the circuits. We are in the same server zone. He's a bit of a recluse though."

Rosemary banged her head against her door when she got to it. "Ow...what is going on? Who am I? I don't think I like this Rosemary person very much. Nothing is making any sense."

"Ehem...?"

Rosemary turned quickly. Jim was standing at the end of the hallway. Rosemary straightened up and tugged on her blouse. "Uh, hi!"

Jim adjusted his glasses. He cleared his throat again. "You, um...you dropped this." He held out a piece of mail.

Rosemary reached out and grabbed it. "Thank you. Sorry, I'm kinda a mess right now. It's been a strange two weeks."

Jim's brows furrowed. "Yeah...I saw the paramedics as they were taking you away. Very scary. Let me know if there's a way I can help."

Rosemary smiled a little. "Thank you...uh.."

Jim frowned as he ran a hand through his light brown hair. He started to walk away a little. "It's Jim. Good afternoon."

"Oh, I'm sorry! Yes, 'Jim'. I'm sure I knew it before. You see...I've kinda banged up my head pretty good. Lost alot of information in the process. I'm just trying to figure it all out. Who I am out."

"Oh wow...that's terrible. I couldn't imagine. Well I'm just down the hall if you need anything." Jim smiled a bit and walked to his door. With a small wave, he went into his apartment.

"Alright, stop drooling at the nice human. Let's go inside."

Rosemary opened the door and took them inside.

"I don't know why I would be so mean to him. He seems so sweet. And he's nice to look at."

"Yeah...for a human. I think your standards at the time were different. According the top research websites out there, and Cosmo. The features Jim possesses are not what the standard human wants. He isn't at the bottom though. He is probably closer to a 5.5 out 10. This probably doesn't take into account his personality or job, or any other skills. Frankly, I think the system you humans use needs to be updated."

Rosemary yawned as she walked around the unfamiliar space. "5.5? I thought he was closer to an 8. Dreamy blue eyes, soft looking brown hair, neat trimmed beard, tall-ish, nice smile. The other Rosemary is crazy." Rosemary found the bedroom. Tossed her mail on the bedside table, kicked off her shoes, and climbed into bed. She placed me on the pillow next to hers.

"I believe the 'other Rosemary' refered to him as a scruffy geek. Rest up. We can talk more later."

Rosemary yawned. "O..okaay...try to stay off Facebook. I don't think it's good for you."

Yeah, yeah...I can quit Facebook anytime I want. Honest...