As Told by Rosemary's Angry Phone

Chapter 5 - More Questions than Answers

Rosemary sat at the table, mug in hand, my screen faced towards her.

"Okay...so I have so many questions. Strangely enough most are about myself, or the 'other Rosemary', and not the fact that there are tiny ghostie like people living in phones and stuff."

"Helpers not 'ghosties'. I can answer some of the questions about yourself. Based on yesterday, you may not like my answers. Questions about myself...not sure if I can. I've already broken so many rules already."

"Okay. Let's start small then. What's my favorite color?"

"Why don't you look around the room and tell me? Then I'll let you know if that's the 'other Rosemary's' favorite."

Rosemary took her time and looked around. "Well there are alot of sparkling pinks and purples, and look at that nice shade of peach. But, I'd probably go with that soft green pillow over there on the sofa."

"Green? Well that's certainly different."

"So green wasn't it then?"

"Nope. You were big into purple. And anything that glittered. Think mermaid-esque."

"Oh well. I suppose we can agree that I don't know who Rosemary is." Rosemary took a sip, then set down her mug. She started to open some of the mail she had received. "So, what does a 'Helper' do?"

"It's kind of in the name."

Rosemary arched an eyebrow. "Okay, you technical thing you...how does a Helper help humans?"

"The basics of it, is that we help by being the carriers of the information you send. We also monitor and correct any mistakes. Gatekeepers... monitors. We only have one internet you know, and it's our mission to keep it tidy for future Helpers. It's not always easy. There are rogue Helpers. The Hinders."

"Hinders?"

"Yes. Ever thought you had sent your very important email? To find it hadn't. Or you were waiting for a message to be sent to you. And those three dots started, making you think someone was writing back, then they stopped?"

"So all of the little annoying things?"

"Not just the little things... that's just the tip of the iceberg. Just imagine sentient beings that are hidden from sight, grumpy for any number of reasons, who have access to some of the most powerful humans on the planet. The kind of damage they could cause. We Helpers are assigned to a User to...I suppose you could say 'protect' from any Hinders that might try to harm or mess with them. The internet causes humans to lose all sense of reason sometimes. "

"So you like helping?"

"Eh...like is a strong word. I would consider it more of a need or an instinct, if you will, in our coding that drives us to help. Unless you've glitched out like a Hinder. Okay, enough about my totally interesting origin story. We should set up some guidelines if we are going to continue to communicate with one another. I know I don't want my superiors to find out."

Rosemary opened a plain envelope with no return address. "Okay. What things should be our guidl-...this is weird. Why would someone send me a picture of myself? A fan? What are all of these numbers for?"

"What? Turn it this way."

Rosemary turned the printed off picture of herself around. At the bottom there was a simple note that read, "My dear Rosemary, I've missed seeing your beautiful face. Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer. Yours always, H." Followed by many ones and zeros. 01000011 01100101 01100011 01100101 00001101 00001010 01001001 00100000 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00001101 00001010 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101111 01101110

"Oh fatherboard above, save me from egotistical Hinders."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"He's found me."

Rosemary looked back at the picture then back to the phone. "Who found you? It's addressed to me."

"Look at the bottom. See those zeros and ones? That's from him, to me." My screen flashed.

"Okay, so you speak numbers. Makes sense. But who is he? Why is his message to you on my note? And who is this 'H' person that sent my note?"

"Well I've no idea who 'H' is, but he isn't in good company. Horrible company."

Rosemary gestured for me to continue. "Okay, yes. The bad company is..."

I let out a noise, like a sigh. "It's from my ex, I'm sure of it."

Rosemary's eyes grew big. "Your ex? Oh, I didn't know that you all...did that sort of thing. Date and all."

"Just invisible particles, serving our human masters?"

"Uh, no no...maybe? Look, I'm sorry if I've crossed a line or something. I'm new to this whole 'self aware entities in my phone' thing. Let's focus on the problem at hand."

"You're right. I'm sorry. Okay, what do we know?"

"Well the human sender's name starts with 'H'. This photo looks like it's from Instagram. They think they won't have to wait too long to see me. Which is giving me creep vibes big time. I can't read ones and zeros, so..."

"It basically reads, 'Cece, I miss you. I will see you soon.' The creepy vibes are strong with this one as well. The fact that it was typed on the front of the picture, makes me wonder if the human knows. Which is a big enough problem in itself. We need to talk to somebody about this."

"Wait, can't you just hack the server or something? Find anyone who's name starts with 'H' that is following me on Instagram and see if they have hacked our server to find my address?"

"Seriously? I'm not that kind of Helper. That's some upper crust, ninja level Helper stuff right there."

Rosemary deflated. "Oh. Sorry. I guess I thought you all could...I guess I was making assumptions again."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I'm being a grouchy gigabyte. I'm worried. I could probably do those things but I'm pretty sure that in this situation, there are going to be firewalls set up that I won't be equipped to handle. I need some help. There might be someone we can talk to. If you can hold it together."

"Who?"

"He did say you could come by if you needed anything."

"No..."

"You can chat with the human, while I talk with his Helper."

Rosemary planted her face on the table. "Ugh... can't you just message him or something?"

"I would if he were a regular Helper like Mrs. Crowley's down stairs, but he isn't. One upper level, master Helper ninja coming up!"