almost // l.s

twenty two

harry had no idea where he was going or what he was running from. that was a lie, he knew what he was running from. louis. he just didn't know why.

he managed to make it down to the train station, although the young boy was unsure where he was off to. he just knew that he needed a break. a break from louis, a break from the boys, and certainly a break from stan.

as he clambered onto a train headed south, harry sighed. he hasn't taken anything with him. that's when he knew exactly where he'd go. the vehicle moved on, rickety as those things seem, from station to station, city to town, and harry was nervous. what if he missed his stop?

about an hour later, when the familiar view of holmes chapel came into view, harry felt safe. he remembered the place like the back of his hand, and was well aware that he'd get to his destination. the train stopped, he got off and started to walk to the house which belonged to his dearest.

it was a lovely, homely brown brick building, with a few bedrooms and more than enough space for one young lady. he smiled as his knuckles connected with the wooden door. harry wasn't nervous for the first time in weeks.

a frantic looking girl opened the door, brown hair straight and falling alongside her pretty face. she gasped and pulled harry into a quick and warm hug.

"hazza!"

"gems," harry cried. he hadn't seen his sister in so long, this was a wonderful reunion.

"oh my god!" she said, "are you cold? what are you doing put here?"

harry smiled sheepishly, "i'm not even sure."

"come in then, bub, i'll get you fixed up."

harry loved gemma. he loved her so, so much.

the pair slipped inside, harry immediately feeling warmer with the lovely atmosphere in her house. he plopped down on the big brown couch as gems ran into the kitchen to make both of them a hot drink. he ran over in his head what he was gonna say. the train ride had been so long and uneventful that harry had basically practised and memorised an entire speech in the time.

"so," she began, "what's up babe?"

harry took a deep breath, "i'm having some issues with louis."

"oh," gemma's face visibly softened, "tell me."

"well, since his dad died he's been acting a bit off," harry explained, "at the start he just seemed so out of it, not wanting any affection, not talking to anyone, that kind of thing. then we went to the funeral and afterwards we started going alright again. i think. we went back to saying 'i love you' every day and all that, but just recently he's been playing up again."

"what do you mean 'playing up'?" gemma asked, concentrating on her brothers every word.

"it's like i don't exist anymore," and harry's voice cracked as he said it. the boy had been trying to avoid the truth for so long, but gemma was the one person who deserved to be fully opened up to.

"oh haz," she whispered as he started to cry.

"he went out drinking, gems, and you know louis. louis doesn't do things like that. he's smart and that's just plain stupid. i don't know what to do."

gemma gazed at her feet, "and what have you done?"

harry suddenly felt guilty, "i ran away."

she nodded, "now, i know i don't know the full picture, so tell me, what forced you into this?"

"i guess i did it myself," harry huffed out an annoyed laugh, "all louis did was apologise and all i did was feel sorry for myself."

"and rightly so!" gemma threw a hand up in acknowledgement, "if what you've said is true then he deserves to feel the pain that you have."

"but the thing is," he inhaled slowly, "i don't like thinking about him being in pain. it hurts me too."

"i understand that, haz, but you need to realise that this is a serious situation, ok?" harry nodded, "if you two break up and you haven't learned to stick up for yourself, then you're in real trouble, babe."

harry looked down.

'if you two break up...'

they would never. ever. they couldn't.

"i just," he sobbed, "i love him so much, gemma."

"i know," she moved her hand onto harry's shaking thigh, "and that's why it's so hard to understand your feelings."

the younger sibling did know how he felt. he wanted louis to feel everything he's felt in the last few weeks. sadness, lonliness and that longing need for someone. but, somehow, he knew that that'd never happen. it was because he had stan. he had stan and niall and liam and zayn, and they all liked louis more than him. but then again,  he never wanted louis to be hurt because it made him feel far too guilty. guilty, scared and worried. harry had never believed in lose-lose situations until then.

"gemma?" he whispered.

she shuffled close, so that their thighs were touching, "yeah?"

"what do i do?"

she smiled, "you stay over here for the weekend, text one of the boys so they know you're alive and okay, and then you go back and tell him what you want."

harry agreed and went to sent a message to niall. he opened his phone to over four hundred unread messages. most were along the lines of;

z: where are you?

li: are you okay?????

nialler: harold where have you gone

lou: harry?

lou: are you okay?

lou: where are you, baby?

lou: i'm so sorry

lou: please reply i'm worried sick

lou: harry i'm so, so sorry

lou: i love you so much darling 

lou: please

harry's breath caught in his throat. seeing those words from louis made him shudder like a giggly teenager with a schoolyard crush. although, when he thought about it, harry knew that it kind of was like that now. was louis even still his boyfriend?

he was. and he always would be.

he let niall know that all was well, and replied to louis with a simple 'love you too xx.' it was so out of place and it didn't answer any of louis' questions, but harry was too tired to start another argument.

he slipped off his jeans and top before clambering into gemma's spare bed. it felt cold and uncomfortable without someone there.

that's when he realised his mistake. when he realised just how much he needed louis.

♡♡♡

this chapter was harder to write but i loved introducing gemma! i love her so much she's amazing, hopefully i've portrayed her as that in here. the voice of reason tbh.

love you guys. vote and comment.

treat people with kindness.

alyssa xxx