almost // l.s

thirty

- two years after

soon after louis tomlinson's twenty-first birthday was the time he least expected it. he knew of the assumptions that came with growing up; being mature, focussed and sensible, and louis was trying his best, he really was. harry was, technically, an adult now too, so the pair were piecing together their last fraying snippet of childhood. however, with age came responsibility. louis wasn't ready for that, just yet. but he had to be.

it was may when it happened. for a while he'd known she was sick, lottie constantly sending in updates on how well she was doing when louis couldn't be there. it was almost as if she was improving- getting better- but life just had to say no.

harry was sitting next to him on the couch. on their couch. liam and zayn moving out had been tough, both socially and financially, but the three other lads pulled through. nearly six months later niall hit the hay, saying he needed time to himself. ironically, he moved back into his parents home. louis and harry's house. louis and harry's couch. that was when he heard his phone ringing. his ringtone was a recording of harry playing the guitar while he played the piano.

lottie's contact appeared on the screen and louis smiled slightly to harry, who quickly turned off the television. louis was so ready for it. he had been awaiting this call for so long now, the one where his sister would tell him they were in the clear. so, in his utmost joy, louis picked up.

"hello dear sister," he said cheerily.

she was crying. her sobs shot down the line, little whimpers escaping her lips every second. louis was confused; she'd never cried like this before. sure, the girl had been devastated the first few times they'd spoken, but never this bad.

"lots?" he asked worriedly, "is everything okay."

he heard lottie take a deep breath, her tears probably still falling, before she exhaled shakily, "i'm so sorry, louis. i'm so, so sorry."

he glanced over to harry, who was anxiously gazing back at him, bottom lip between his teeth.

"charlotte tomlinson, you're scaring the hell outta me- what's happened?"

"she's-" a sob cut lottie off once more, "mum, she's terminal."

that was the moment louis tomlinson's world came crashing down around him. not, jay, not her of all people. not loving, caring, gorgeous jay who wouldn't hurt a fly. not his mother- the one who'd done so much for him and his family. she was just too perfect, too wonderful, it couldn't be happening. it couldn't.

"lottie i-" he stuttered, "no. you're wrong, they're wrong!" his volume was rising and harry's eyes were brimming with tears beside him. louis was already crying, unaware of the stream of moisture coating his red cheeks.

"lou, they aren't. it's the worst. i know i know..."

she trailed off. louis didn't know what to say either. the two siblings sat in silence for far too long, until louis took it upon himself to hang up- too upset to talk it through right now. he sat back and sighed, running shaking hands through his hair.

"don't tell me," was all harry had to say before his boyfriend was throwing himself into his arms. louis' whole body racked with the godawful whimpers racing through him and all harry could do was hold him. hold him for many hours into the night. hold him until the crying finally stopped and louis was asleep. harry knew what lottie's news would've been and he was aware of how killing it would be for the family. seven children; no parents. the ratio didn't add up. all the boy could do, at that moment, was pray. pray for jay, the tomlinson's, and pray that no harm would come upon their bond. for some reason, harry knew that at least one of his prayers would be left unfulfilled.

-

louis' vision was blurry when he woke the next morning. his head pounded too, resting atop harry's thighs, and he turned to look at his boy. even though harry looked pretty sleeping, louis couldn't bring himself to smile. his mind flooded with memories. himself and harry sleeping together at camp while he still wouldn't admit his feelings for him. when louis was still convinced he was straight. his mum had been one of the first people who'd accepted him- bar harry, niall, liam and zayn- and that was the last thing that solidified his undying love for her. 

life without her. louis didn't even want to think about it. she could not die. it was impossible. johannah deakin was far too cherished, by everyone, to die. the number of people who'd miss her was uncountable and louis knew that. he hoped she knew that. he hoped that his mother was positive enough to pull through- of all people, he knew it would be her.

harry woke up just a few minutes later and assisted louis to stand. the two made for their bedroom, quickly stuffing some clothes and necessities into a suitcase, before setting off on the short trip to sheffield. louis had visited his mum while she was in the hospital not too long ago. he knew exactly the ward she'd been in. 

the two boys didn't speak a word to one another on the journey. harry drove, thankful for louis forcing him to complete his license a few years back. he couldn't imagine his boyfriend behind the wheel in a time like this. the who scenario was inconceivable. it was so absurd that it almost didn't feel real and harry wanted to believe it wasn't. he almost smacked himself, wishing this was some dream created to torment him and his relationship more than usual. harry was smart, however, and knew that that wasn't the case.

after about an hour, they arrived at the hospital. louis rushed inside, not caring if he was making a scene, and demanded to see his mother immediately. the lady behind the desk apparently had some sort of sympathy for him and allowed the pair through straightaway. louis jumped the stairs, three at a time and made it to the unit in record time.

"mum," he spluttered.

♡♡♡

i'm back!

and with a pretty downer of a chapter to be fair. sorry about the sudden time and concept change, but it just felt right to bring the story forward. as you can probably guess, this book may be coming to a close (30 chapters lmao) so it needed to be steered in the right direction.

please vote and comment on how you like the switch up.

thank you. treat people with kindness.

alyssa xx