Chapter 41

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I really hope you guys understand what I'm about to do. It's been in my mind to end the story like this for a long time.

I truly wouldn't feel happy with it if I didn't listen to my gut feeling. I get that some may have gotten attached to the narrative but this is how I want it to finish. It's sad for this ending but I want to show Ariel's suffering in a realistic point of view.

So just continue reading along fellow readers. And thank you so much for taking the time to read my book.

Bye for now.........
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Ariel's final message to Justin

Dear Justin,

If you're reading this then maybe I'm dead. Maybe the paramedics are trying to pump the pills out of my system. Or I'm too far gone for any response. Or maybe I'm not responding at all.

But I'm most likely dead. I'm sorry that I hurt you like this and I'm sorry that I caused you pain in the end.

I never wanted this. I didn't plan for this to take place.

Everything just happened so fast. Like time was spiraling out of control and I had no will to stop it. One minute my mom was here then the next she wasn't.

And I might have hidden it but she meant everything to my conscience. Her death left me wondering what would be my end result? My end game?

In the end, the circumstances in my life weren't all circumstantial after all. The struggles with my mom, and the men in both our lives and the pain that we both experienced weren't all that different but they weren't the same either.

And then before I came here and met you, it was always on my mind. In my thoughts, my actions....... I had always considered killing myself and ending my life.

But what drove me to the edge was probably building up from I was six. It wasn't being kidnapped by Robbie, or being raped repeatedly by Harry or having a constant reminder of him by carrying his baby.

It was everything mixed together. All of these events just pooled in my mind and replayed over and over like a stuck tape. It wouldn't end. It never ended and I wanted it to end so bad.

This was probably what I meant behind my words. 'I'm leaving after graduation' It was on my mind- just sitting there like a person that wouldn't go away.

But with you, to be honest, the torture dulled. With you I felt I could continue on without her. That I could rewrite my tainted chapters into new ones without the help of my mother. Or that I could start a new legacy without the darkness.

But the problem with darkness is it never goes away. I was under the pretense that I could survive for you and be with you but no matter how much light is in my life- there is always a flaw. And with me it was there waiting for a chance to come out.

And it had that chance that day at the diner. Suddenly, I felt depressed after we talked. It mostly linked to the baby and having you place your innocent hope in me. Seeing you- the perfect guy- confessing to old tainted me.

I'm not worthy of you. I don't deserve you. And pretending that I was just made it worse. So I made a split second decision today.

It most likely wasn't the best because after today, I won't be able to be 'with' you. I won't be able to see your smile or hear your laugh. I won't be able to look into your warm grey eyes and feel safe in them. I won't be able to see your tears as you read this letter or hug you for the hurt you will feel.

But know that everything will be okay. I don't know where I'll end up or if there's actually a heaven out there. Or if there's a god who is looking out from me. For us.

But just know that I love you. And that I won't forget you and I hope you won't forget me either.

So in the end, I never reached my end goal to graduate and to try and start over. I backed out before I even could; maybe I am selfish, and a coward and quite easy to give into temptations. But that's just me I guess. Ariel Jackson. The girl who wasn't strong enough or good enough.

And I won't get to see you guys graduate or to see how long it takes for you to move on. But it's okay. I'm happy now. This is my happy ending. This is me giving up but at the same time moving on. I. Am. Happy.

And I hope you will be too. I hope all of you will be. Without me.

Your very true friend,
Ariel.

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
Third Person POV

"Clear!" Loud shock waves rippled through her chest, making her pale body jolt from the shocks.

"Clear!" Another. And another. And another jolt of shock until the doctors hopes slipped.

She had slit her wrists and taken a concerning amount of pills. Ariel Jackson lay pale faced on that hospital bed.

And Justin stood there as the love of his life's heart rate plummeted. Until it was a completely flat line. The tears fell from his eyes onto the the dirtied sheet of paper that held her bloodied message.

The continuous beep on the monitor made him double over in shock.

Ariel was gone. And she wasn't coming back.


Please play song ☝☝☝

It'll set the mood. Next chapter up next!

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