The Sixth and Final Stage

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I'm doing well. Really. On occasions I do think of him. But now I can think of him and feel almost nothing. But I realised since moving on that I am afraid to let anyone take his place, even though I know that he potentially could use his position way better than he did. I can't help it though.

Maybe I've finally built the wall that I thought would take ages to build. Construction was complete way quicker than I thought it would. As much as I love the idea that now no one can harm me the way I've been harmed, it still bothers me that I could miss out on the opportunity to meet the person who is right for me.

Maybe he won't come around now, but what if I still have my wall up for the next ten years? I don't want to put myself in a position where I accidentally push my true love away, only to find out that that I had missed out on an opportunity to actually be happy. I don't want to waste time.

But at the same time, if I let my guard down, I might be beaten and bruised again. And it's all because of him. But you know what? I wish him the best. And I pray that he never has to face what I and so many other girls he's played did. Because no one deserves that. Not me. Not my true love who is at risk of being broken-hearted because of me. Not even the first guy who broke my heart. Absolutely no one.

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