Empty...| Aphmau AU |

|11| Deal...

it's been two days...actually three days. Doctor wasn't convinced after all, stupid bitch..Aaron and Gene were the only ones who visited me daily. the others think that i only want attention.

Yeah i'm starving myself to get attention. what about the depressed people? What about people with terrible anxiety? they didn't chose to be like that, so didn't i.

I should be out of the hospital in about an hour or two. Miss Diana, the nurse is just checking my weight currently.

"Alright Aphmau, your weight is going up, how do you feel about that?" she sighed.

"uuh, well..."
Just lie to her!
"g-great! I'm already starting to feel better!"
meh, good enough

"That's awesome to hear, Aphmau! i'm really proud of you!" she smiled and walked out the door.

"bitch.." I whispered to myself, then smirked.
You know that you aren't gonna eat anything when you get home, right?
...but i gotta be careful now, mums coming back in...six weeks
phew..you still have time to workout and starve
i...i don't want people to notice that i lost even more weight again, plus i promised to Diana and the cute doctor that i would eat the right amount-
you actually wanna eat?
I never said that i wanted to eat-
well then shut up, and promise ME that you'll never give up on me.
i'm sorry, but you don't get to boss me aroun-
i do.
excuse me?
I am your only best friend!
I am your future
This is what beauty is darling!
Everything just boney!
Ribs showing
hipbones sticking out
stomach inside of you
THAT'S what BEAUTY is!
Not girls that are 100 pounds!
lose 20 more pounds, then...then you're beautiful, my love
...n-
Let's make a deal...If you lose 20 pounds in six weeks...i'll leave you alone
i won't talk to you
i'll get out of your life
...
...
...promise?
promise.

i stand up and walk over to the mirror, i look at myself closely, then closer..and closer..
...
"what have i done?" i whisper and curl myself into a ball, crying my eyes out.

"This is what beauty is darling!"