Before It's Too Late | Yoonmin

Chapter 1

Yoongi POV

Sighing to myself, I run a hand through my hair tiredly as I stare down at the half filled page of my notebook. I've got quiet music playing in the background as I sit alone in my studio at the house, though the music doesn't really help improve my mood any. No, i generally listen to music that matches my mood, which never really seems to help me out other than someone else doing the work to express my feelings for me. Because, it's not like I can just express my feelings myself. If I did that, the boys would worry and Manager Nim would have a fit over me writing such type of lyrics.

So, I try to ignore the low feelings that are swelling in my chest, trying to push through the painful thoughts swarming in my head as I reread the lyrics I've already written. I was entrusted with writing six of the songs for our newest comeback, five of which are finished already. I'm sure they're not the best that they could be, they could be better if I looked them over again to improve them. The only issue is, I could do that a million times over and still say that it could be better. Besides, I've already spent way longer writing the songs than I should have. I'm now on the last song and I'm the one they're waiting on for in order to finish up the album completely. They've already been waiting on it for a week now, and if I don't get it finished soon, they'll give it to Namjoon to finish himself.

Biting my lip, I blink back tears at the thought of them giving the song off to the younger boy. It's not that I think I'm better than him or anything of the sort, it's nothing like that. It's merely that I know he's better than me. He's better and he's faster than I am. Though, with the mood I've been in, with my depression getting to me the way that it's been for the last two years now, even the others who never write would probably be faster. Would probably produce better shit than I can these days. Because, even though my depression has slowly been sinking in further and further, it's been the last six months really, that it's been killing me. I truthfully don't remember the last time I ate properly, the last time I got a full night's sleep, the last time I truly felt like smiling and was also able to actually accomplish it. I don't remember the last time I didn't feel so alone in this world.

Wiping harshly at the tears that begin to fall, I shake my head at myself. Taking a few shaky deep breath, I rub my hands over my face a few times before dropping them again. Feeling myself sinking even lower, I slump a bit more in my chair as I force myself to reread the lyrics and actually recall what the hell I'd just read. Force myself to try and get back to work.

Though, that doesn't last too long when I hear a knock at my door. Sighing softly, I carefully set my pen down and turn my chair halfway so that I can look over and see who it is. Watching silently, the door opens just a little to reveal Jimin peeking his head in the room. I give him a small smile, leaning back in my chair as I wait for the younger to explain why he's interrupted my work.

"How's the song coming along, hyung?" Jimin asks lightly as he tiptoes into my room in a joking manner. I force my smile to grow just a bit at his antics, watching as he shuts the door behind him.

"It's going. I'm about halfway through with the lyrics." I explain quietly with a small sigh as I turn back around to the desk behind me with my notebook sat open on it. As soon as he's not able to see my face anymore, the smile drops off, feeling unbelievably heavy to hold. Though, Jimin comes over and wraps his arms around me gently, leaning over my shoulder to peek at what I've got so far.

"It's gonna be so good when it's finished, hyung. I can't wait to see the finished product. You always produce the best songs." Jimin whispers softly as his eyes scan over my terrible scribbles. I bite my lip as I look them over myself, knowing that he's simply lying to make me feel good. I know they just want this song to be finished already. I know they're slowly beginning not to care how it turns out as long as it's finished soon with how long I've been taking. I don't say anything though, not needing to raise alarm for the younger boy or for any of them. Jimin's always been the one to seem to care the most though, especially towards me, and so he's the absolute last person I need to be showing any signs of not being okay to.

"I'm sorry it's taking so long. It should be finished soon though. Maybe just a couple more days." I inform him quietly, forcing myself not to just take the paper and crumple it up and toss it, right here in front of Jimin.

"No worries, hyung. We know you just want it done as well as possible. Anyways, the reason I came in here in the first place was to let you know that dinners ready." Jimin says contently as he let's go of me and stands back up.

"I'll probably just take a late dinner and grab whatever might be left over later. Thanks though, Jiminie."