Before It's Too Late | Yoonmin

Chapter 10

Laying down on Yoongi's bed, I still don't find myself tired enough to sleep, having been laid here like this for a few hours now. I hear the front door open though, the sound of muffled footsteps entering the house echoing. I just close my eyes at the sound though, knowing none of those pairs of feet belong to the one boy I just want to hold in my arms more than anything right now. So, I stay curled up on top of Yoongi's perfectly made bed, my head not touching his pillow as I listen to someone head up the stairs.

There's a faint knock somewhere, but I know it's not on the door that belongs to the room I'm currently in, the door still wide open from when I entered a few hours ago. I've got the letter Yoongi wrote to me cuddled in my arms as they're wrapped around myself, still feeling fairly numb and lost. Feeling more alone than I have in a long time. I haven't... I haven't felt this alone since I lost my mother. And I truthfully don't know how to deal with it. Back then, I had my father and a couple friends at school. I wasn't alone going through it. And, while the others, I'm sure, are hurting and missing him too, it's not the same. It isn't the same as how I'm feeling right now and I know that. They... They weren't there to watch him get rushed out of a burning motel. They weren't the one following the ambulance that was going faster than most of the ones I've ever seen drive by. They weren't the ones that he was cuddling up to for this entire past week. The one that he'd go to back when we were still trying to debut when he'd have nightmares...

It makes me wonder. This entire last week... All along, he was sneaking into my room after I'd fallen asleep. Every single night and he'd curl up to me. But in the morning, he never showed signs that he'd had a bad dream. He wouldn't wake me up with his blanket and ask to cuddle. No, he'd just come and cuddle me, the way he did after he'd had continuous nightmares and started feeling depressed even way back then. It makes me curious. Was he actually having nightmares all this last week? Or was this his way of loving me until he left?

The thought breaks my heart all over again, feeling tears well up and slowly roll down my face, missing him even more. There's so many questions that I want to ask him. So many questions that I need answers to, yet I know I'll never get the chance to even ask them.

"Jimin?"

My eyes involuntarily open at the call of my name, looking over to the tall boy stood in the doorway. Jungkook has a worried look in his eyes as he purses his lips, gaze on my tired and limp figure. I don't bother responding, not in the mood to talk.

"Hyung, what're you doing in here? Why're you torturing yourself like this?" The younger asks softly as he walks over to me, sitting down on the edge of the bed like I'd done when I first entered. I sigh softly, feeling more tears forming as I hand him the letter that had been left for me. Closing my eyes lightly, I don't bother trying to fight the tears that start falling faster while I wait for him to read it. I don't bother opening my eyes again until I hear him folding it back up, refraining from sobbing as I take the letter back.

Looking back up to the brunette, I can see the tears that are now in his eyes as well. It doesn't help my state, curling up further into a ball as I start sobbing all over again.

"Hyung, it's gonna be okay. We're gonna get through this together. Okay? He's gonna be fine. You heard the doctor last night. It's not like he's actually gone." Jungkook tries to comfort, though his voice is just as shaky as mine would be if I were to respond. I shake my head though, not fooled nor convinced by his words. I heard the doctor last night alright. He said he should've been fucking dead. That he doesn't even understand himself just how exactly he survived.

"Come on, hyung. Why don't we go downstairs and get some food, hmm? Jin hyung is cooking breakfast as we speak and then we should all probably get some sleep. Especially you." Jungkook tries again, his voice still as shaky as before. But it makes me sob harder, shaking my head, not wanting to leave the bed. Not wanting to leave the last of what I have left of him.

"I never got to tell him that I love him too, Kookie. I never got the chance to tell him all the things that I've been dying to say for so long. And now I'm never gonna get to tell him."