Before It's Too Late | Yoonmin

Chapter 2

"Alright! I think that's good enough for today guys. Let's break now for lunch and then we can move on to whatever else we have for the day." Mr. Son informs us with a smile. I watch Jimin, Namjoon, and Taehyung collapse to the floor lightly, joking around with how exhausted they are.

"Yes! Finally!" Jin cheers tiredly as he walks over to his bag off in the corner, most likely going to grab some water from his bag. Mr. Son ignores everyone's antics though, heading out to leave for the day since his work here is done.

I bite my lip, walking over to my bag silently as the others all begin to gather near the three boys flopped on the floor, pulling a water bottle out of my own bag. I just keep my gaze on the floor though, not overly worried about going and getting lunch since I've not really got much of an appetite for it anyways. It's not like I need the extra weight anyways.

"Hyung? You gonna join us for lunch?" Namjoon speaks up, causing my head to snap around to look over at them. It's only then that I realize everyone's gaze is on me, looking at me curiously or simply with smiles. Biting my lip, I look back down to the floor as I shake my head before forcing a small smile.

"That's okay. I think I'm gonna hang back and work on the dance some more. Last thing we need is me doing the totally wrong move for our comeback and performances, right?" I try to joke, attempting to add some sort of humor into my voice. Most of them chuckle in response thankfully, Jimin and Jin being the only two who don't, giving me small saddened smiles instead.

"Don't forget to eat something for lunch then, hyung. You really don't need to be skipping meals. You'll do just fine with the dance, we've still got plenty more practices to come before we do any performing." Jimin says lightly with his small smile. It raises my anxiety, making me feel like I'm not doing enough to hide the pain.

"I'll be fine, Jiminie. I'll grab some food afterwards. I just wanna try and get this down a bit better. That's all. It's nothing to worry about, really." I tell him with a fake smile, trying to sound as fine as possible. He sighs, giving in and giving me a proper smile as he nods.

"Okay, hyung. Well, we'll see you later then, yeah?" He responds, sounding more content this time. I force my smile to stay put, nodding in response.

"Good." Jimin says with a little grin before the six of them head out of the room.

The moment the door falls shut though, the smile drops, my cheeks hurting from how heavy the smile felt. I just shake my head to myself though. I'm not too sure how much longer I'm going to be able to keep this act up, and I can't let them know. I don't want them to worry. I don't want to concern them. They're doing great on their own, everyone's loving everything they bring, everything they give. I can't take that away from them. I can't take their happiness from them, from the boys, from the fans, from their families. I couldn't do that to them.

Swallowing hard, I run a hand through my hair and toss my water bottle back down to my bag, no longer feeling the need to drink anything. Sighing as I blink back tears, I feel pathetic as I walk over to the sound system and start playing our music once again.

Taking a few deep breaths, I push myself to go through the routine. Go through the moves. Continue to think of more lyrics to add onto the last song. Think of more ways to fix this. To either continue hiding this pain from the others or to just end it all. It's not like anyone's really going to need me anyways. I'm always dragging the boys down, always getting in the way, holding them back. Nobody's really even recognized my work anyways. It's never mattered how much work and time and effort I put into this shit, no amount of heart and passion I put into it ever gets realized. Not by the fans, the boys hardly ever really notice it, not even my own damn family. I've spent years out here, working hard, losing sleep, losing weight, practicing more than I've ever done for anything in my life, putting my heart and soul, putting my all into my career, only to hardly ever get recognized. To be ignored.

And I'm not sure how much longer I can continue on with it. Because, what's the point of trying when, nobody's gonna notice anyways?