Internship with Pentagon

Confessions

I was sitting on a stool in the back corner of the room while the boys were having a dance practice. I was supposed to be filling out paperwork and fixing the mistakes in their schedule, but I was having a hard time focusing. I have always loved watching the boys practice. When I was in high school, I frequently watched videos of their dance practices. Before I knew it, they had finished their run-through. 

"Hey Clair, did your parents head back to the States already?" WooSeok asks me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look up at his tall figure as he was dabbing his forehead with his towel. 

"Yeah. They left this morning before I came into work." I smile at him, trying to ignore his shirt that was clinging to his torso because of sweat. 

"That sucks." 

"Why do you say that?" I ask him cocking my head to the side like a dog. 

"Because the first time I met them, they were panicked over the fact that you were in the hospital. Everything was very hectic and what not. I wanted to get a chance to talk to them without the panic. I even spent all last night practicing my English," he said disappointedly.

"I'm sorry WooSeokie, I'm su-" 

"I thought we agreed you would call me oppa." He said smirking. I blushed slightly at his comment causing his smirk to grow. While he knows I know he doesn't have any feelings for me, he absolutely loves making me uncomfortable and making me blush.

"Okay, WooSeokie oppa. What I was trying to say before you rudely interrupted me was that I'm sure my parents would have appreciated the effort you made to be able to talk to them. It would have meant a lot to them." I say truthfully. His face lit up as if a light bulb went off in his head.

"Clair, what do you say about hanging out with me after work. We could grab something to eat and head to the park. You could call your parents and then I would have a chance to talk to them. What do you say?" WooSeok grabbed both of my hands as his hands were cupped around them. I looked down at our hands and back up at him, but before I had a chance to answer him, Yuto came over to where we were.

"WooSeok, we're supposed to be practicing, not flirting." His voice was as cold as ice.

"Oh, don't worry Yuto. I wasn't flirting with her. I was just asking her to hang out with me after work. That's all." WooSeok's voice was laced with false innocence. Yuto stiffened after hearing that we were going to hang out. 

"Alright, guys. That run was good. Let's call practice for today and hang out before our fitting." Hui says causing the team to cheer in relief as they make their way to the break room.

"Clair, can I talk to you..." Yuto pauses as he looks at WooSeok, "alone."

~

I nervously follow Yuto as he leads me to a spare studio that isn't being used.

"Yuto, what if someone comes in to use this? I'm technically working for you. I don't need to get in trouble in a foreign country." I ramble on as he pulls me into the room. 

"Aish, be quiet, will you? Nobody uses this studio. It's an extra one in cast one of the others has a malfunction. There are three more like it scattered throughout the building. So, nobody is going to come in here. Got it?" He said, still holding onto my arm. I gently pull my arm away from his grasp and take a step back, feeling a little too close to him.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask him, avoiding his gaze.

"Can we talk about last night?" Yuto pleas.

"What about it?" 

"Don't play coy. You know exactly what I'm talking about." I could hear in his voice that his patience was running thin.

"Yuto, I don't see what we have to discuss." I stubbornly stand my ground.

"You're seriously going to be like this? Aish, would you look at me already?" He puts his hands on either side of my head and forces me to look him in the eyes. "Is what your mother said true?"

I stand there, looking at him. His hands on my face as his eyes plea with me to answer his question. I just stay still, taking in the moment. I know that I won't be able to have moments like this with him much longer. I'm leaving in just a few days. I'll be headed back to the United States and to college. Yuto will stay here, in Korea, fulfilling his dream as I work towards mine.

"You're going to make me say it aren't you?" His voice is calm again and his hands drop from my face to my shoulders. "Is it true that you have feelings for me?" 

I take a deep breath, thinking carefully about what I was going to say. 

"Yuto... they only think that because you were my bias from this group. Before I came to Korea, you were my screensaver on my phone. I never thought that I would get the chance to meet you. But I never told them anything of the sort. My mother was just being her usual self. I apologize for what she said. I promise you don't have to worry about it though." I felt a small crack in my heart as I say this, knowing that it is a lie. I couldn't bring myself to say the words 'No, I don't like you', but hinting at it as I did is just as bad. 

Looking at Yuto, I can almost see stone form in his eyes. 

"Good, I wouldn't want your last days here in Korea to be awkward. I was worried I would have to reject you. I'm glad we have an understanding." He had no intentions of listening to anything else I had to say as he simply walked out of the studio without another word. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I collapsed onto the floor. I hugged my knees to my chest and sat in silence as the tears fell from my eyes like a waterfall. 

I hear a faint knock on the door. As it opens, I see WooSeok's head pop through the crack. When he sees me in the state I'm in, he rushed to my side, making sure to close the door behind him.

"Clair, what's wrong?" His voice is filled with concern.

"I'll tell you tonight after work. Right now, I have to get you boys to your fitting." I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes. "I'm going to run to the bathroom and splash some water in my face. Will you tell everyone to meet me by the cars in 5?" 

"Sure thing," He says cautiously. "Are you sure you don't need anything?"

I flash him the biggest fake smile in the history of fake smiles. "I'm sure." 

~

The rest of the day went by in a rush. Yuto wouldn't speak to me or look at me. While the other boys didn't know what was going on, they could sense the thick atmosphere. WooSeok stayed by my side for the rest of the day. He was constantly asking me if I was okay and if I needed anything. I told him every time that I was okay as I would flash him a fake smile that he didn't buy.

After everything was over we dropped the boys off and WooSeok and I left to hang out. Yuto never said bye or stopped to turn around. While it hurt my heart a little, I realize that it is all for the best. The car ride was fairly silent as WooSeok drove to an ice cream shop on the other side of the city. We both got waffle cones and then headed to a small park nearby. We found a bench and sat in silence as we ate the cones.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" WooSeok asks without looking at me, breaking the silence.

"Last nights my parents told him I have feelings for him. When he confronted me about it today, I told him it wasn't true." 

"Was it though?" 

"Yes." 

"He deserves to know." 

"I can't bring myself to tell him." 

"Do you have any intentions of telling him." 

I let out a deep sigh.

"No."