(discontinued) Something New - an Andi Mack X Glee fanfic

Sleepover pt.2

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self harm, nightmares and homophobic slurs

TJ POV
"During lunch yesterday, you almost held my hand. Why?"
Cyrus was quiet but I needed an answer. "I... don't really know. I just- I wanted to" he answered looking me in the eyes. I wanted to kiss him so desperately in that moment but I knew I couldn't do that. I smiled at him, "I really am happy that I invited you over. I don't have a lot of friends like you. The only other friend I had was Reed in elementary, that boy in the picture, but he did me dirty"
I started having flashbacks. Taking the blade of the razor, putting it into my skin, seeing the blood, crying in pain. I still remember the day Amber saw me in the bathroom, she yelled at me to stop but I kept going. Mom and dad were running up the stairs to see the commotion going on and I tried to hide my arm that was now covered with blood but it was no use. I remember my mom bandaging my arm and asked what was going on. I remember going to school the next day and Reed looked at me, right in the eyes, and called me a word that I hate. "F*g" he told me. I remember trying to ignore him but everything got worse. Next thing I knew, we were moving to a new district and I would never have to see Reed again. My parents sent me to therapy and counseling until my mental health was better and I stopped harming myself. I came back to reality.
I was crying and Cyrus held me tight. Cyrus spoke softly to me "I don't really care what happened, you don't need to tell until you feel ready" I calmed down after hearing those words coming out of his mouth. "Wanna watch that movie now?" I asked Cyrus. He giggled and nodded his head as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and went to the Netflix app.
We watched about three movies and it was around 1:00 AM when I looked next to me to see Cyrus passed out. He was still in his close so I shook him awake. "Yeah?" He asks as he opened his eyes. I whisper "you're still in your clothes, the bathroom is down the hall for you to change" and he struggles to stand up but he manages to make it to the bathroom. I change into my flannel pajama pants and pull on a black t-shirt and Cyrus returns to my room. I ask him noticing how emotionless he is "Tired?" And he nods his head. He was so cute when he was like that. I laid back down on my bed and Cyrus joined me. He slowly reached his hand out towards mine and I held it. I was holding Cyrus' hand. I watched him as he fell back to sleep and I just smiled at the sleeping boy. About an hour or so, I finally fell asleep.
"TJ STOP! YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF"
I just kept going.
I couldn't stop.
She pulled the blades away from me.
I kept hearing the homophobic slurs come out of Reed's mouth.
"You f*g!"
Everything went dark all of the sudden. I'm heading towards this warm, white light.
I awake from the nightmare, shaking, sweating and unable to calm down. I look at the time. 3:00 AM, the clock reads. I look over to the peacefully sleeping Cyrus. Wish that could be me right now. I run downstairs, still shaking uncontrollably, I notice that Amber and Iris are still awake. "Teej, what's wrong? You seem panicked, are you okay?!" Amber asked getting up from the couch. I shake my head "I- nightmare... I'm-" I couldn't get the words out but Amber knew what was going on sense this wasn't the first time this has happened. She whispered softly "you'll be okay TJ, drink some water, wash your face and go back upstairs so Cyrus won't be alone". I do what she says. I calm down about half an hour later and head back to my room to see Cyrus was awake. "What are you doing up?"
"I could ask the same question to you, Underdog"
I get back into bed and put the covers on up to my waist. Cyrus looked over to me as if he were about to say something but he didn't. I rolled over to the opposite side of his face and tried to go back to sleep. Then I heard two words whisper, barley audible, but I heard him say "I'm gay..." and I rolled back over to look at him. I could see him grinning. Should I tell him? Should I tell him I'm gay too? I thought to myself. No, not yet. "That's- wow. I'm glad you told me"
"Me too. Anyways, goodnight" and Cyrus passed out right after that. I fell asleep about five minutes after.
It was the next morning and I awoke to Cyrus kicking me in the leg. "Good morning to you too!" I greeted as Cyrus lifted his head up to apologize. "Sorry, I didn't mean to", I smiled at him and playfully accepted his apology. "C'mon, lets go down for breakfast" I said getting up out of bed and Cyrus followed me down the stairs, "what exactly happened last night? All I remember is waking up for about five minutes, noticing you were gone, you came back and I fell back to sleep" Cyrus said. He didn't remember him coming out? "Um... yeah that's about it. You told me something though, something important..." I said trying to refresh his memory. Did he really forget? He stared blankly for a few seconds but then looked at me making the realization. "Oh... right. Yeah, I'm gay!" He smiled. I couldn't help but smile back at him. Amber and Iris, who slept on the couch, immediately woke up when they heard those words come out of Cyrus' mouth. Iris perked up, "you are? That's actually kinda funny to me, because y'know, I'm bi" and Cyrus laughed at her comment. I felt a little bit more confident about my feelings for Cyrus because I now know that he's gay but I don't think he likes me. I'm barley even a step out of the closet. Ugh, why'd I have to get so smitten?!