Music Speaks

Fix You

I laughed, a hearty laugh. My friends were insane. Sometimes I wished I could be more of myself around them. "Phillip, dude, you need to check out this video!" Preston called out to me, waving his iPhone around. I shook my head.

I wasn't like them. But I couldn't be with people I was like. That was the burden of being a twin. Henry chose our friends. And he wanted to be a 'cool kid'. So that's where I was stuck.

My thoughts wandered to her. The girl who I sat next to every Sunday at church. The girl who would rant about Marvel superheroes and have video game conversations with me.

She was funny, always grinning, so happy just being herself. I know, I had Macy, and she was pretty, but I never really thought of her like that. Macy and Cameron were perfect.

I didn't want a full blown beauty like Macy. I want a sweet, happy, cute girl. The one who was obsessed with Valve games.

I thought I heard sniffling, and turned around. Who could that be? I looked back to my group. "I will be right back." I announced, then ran in the direction of the sniffles.

Never in a million years could I have guessed what I was about to find.

There she was. The girl I had been thinking about, Aubrey. She was curled in the corner of an empty classroom, tears streaming down her face.

Her eyes cast up towards me, and she immediately flinched back. "I'm sorry Phillip. I'm sorry. I-uh, you can be in here. I can leave." She whispered, obviously flustered.

She went to get up, but I put my hand on her shoulder. "No, it's okay." I sat down next to the corner, gesturing for her to join me.

Aubrey looked surprised for a minute, but then sat down.

"What happened?" I asked, looking over at her. The tears made her eyes glisten, and I noticed how beautiful her eyes were in that very moment.

She sighed, but sobs broke in between it, causing the sigh to sound broken off. "I liked this guy for, I don't know, a year and a half, and he told me a week ago that he could never like me. But that's not particularly why I'm crying."

She paused, a few sobs escaping her lips. "This happens all the time. I mean, I was already over this guy, but it's just a consistent heartbreak. No one ever likes the tomboy."

She cried a little more, and I watched as she plaeced her head against the wall next to her, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I mean I tried my best, but I never succeeded. I got what I wanted, not what I needed. I'm so tired, but I can never sleep. I'm stuck in reverse."

She stopped for a moment, biting her lip and looking up at the ceiling. She blinked a bit, trying to rid herself of the tears.

"And now tears are streaming down my face, because I lost something that I couldn't replace, and that was my self esteem. I love so many, but it always goes to waste. Could anything be worse than that?" She croaked, her voice breaking a little as she spoke.

"And, I began to fall for someone a little while back, but I ignored it for my fear of heartbreak."

She turned to me, and we sat there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes in the most cliche way possible.

"Who was it?" I murmured, afraid to hurt the moment.

She turned her head towards the other wall, breaking the gaze. "It's someone who would never feel the same. He's too good for me."

"No, he isn't. You deserve anyone." I stated, truth in every word. Somewhere deep within me, I hoped it was me.

"Fine, you want to know?" She said, her voice on edge.

I nodded.

"It's you!" She exclaimed. She then turned away from me once more. She winced, as if waiting for the rejection.

Instead, I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to me. She rested her head against my chest, and I stroked her hair.

She turned her head, staring up at me, shock etched across her face. "Really?" She breathed, her voice shaky again, full of disbelief.

I did the first thing that came into my mind, and kissed the top of her head.

"I don't care where you are, whether it's high above or down below. You thought you were in love with the other guy, so you wouldn't give it up. But, if you hadn't given it a try, you would've never known how much you're worth to me." I smiled softly as I spoke. "I will try to fix everything. I will do my bests to mend your broken heart. I will fix it. I will."

And so, we sat like that. The tomboy and the not so cool-kid, comforting each other in a small white classroom.

I would fix everything for her. I would help her. I would show her that she is just more beautiful than every "pretty girl" in this whacked up world.

I loved her.