Monologues for Women

The Effects of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds

The Effects of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds
by Paul Zindel (1970)

Character: BEATRICE— Beatrice Hunsdorfer, a widow, is the anxious mother of two high school students, named Ruth and Matilda.

Situation: This scene takes place in the kitchen at Beatrice's house, which was converted from a vegetable store. She's calling her daughter's science teacher, Mr. Goodman, to question the safety of a project he has assigned.

BEATRICE: Mr. Goodman please. (Pause) how would I know if he's got a class? (she finds a cigarette next to the hotplate.) hello, Mr. Goodman? Are you Mr. Goodman? Oh, I beg your pardon, Miss Torgersen. yes, I'll wait. She lights her cigarette. Couldn't you find him, Miss Torgersen? (Pause) Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Goodman, how are you? I'll bet you'll never guess who this is... It's Mrs. Hunsdorfer— Remember the frozen foods? You know, Ruth told me she's your new secretary, and I certainly think that's a delight. She picks up the phone crosses to you. Of the kitchen table, put the phone on the table, and sits. You were paying so much attention to Matilda that I'll bet Ruth just got jealous. She does things like that, you know. I hope she works hard for you, although I can't imagine what kind of work Ruth could be doing in the great big science office. She's a terrible snoop... (Pause) The attendance? Isn't that charming. And the cut cards! Imagine. You trust her with... why I didn't know she could type at all... imagine. (Pause) of course, too much work isn't good for anybody, either. No wonder she's failing everything. I mean, I never heard of a girl who failed absolutely everything regardless of what she was suffering from. I suppose I should say recovering from... (Pause) oh, I'll tell you why am calling. It's about those seeds you gave Matilda. She's had them in the house for a while now and they're starting to grow. Now she tells me they had been exposed to radioactivity and I hear such terrible things about radioactivity that I naturally associate radioactivity with sterility, end it positively horrifies me to have those seeds in my living room. Can she just grow plain marigolds like everyone else? (Pause) Oh... (Pause) it does sound like an interesting project... (Pause) no, I'm afraid that at this very moment I don't know what a mutation is. (Pause) Mr. Goodman... Mr. Goodman! I don't want you to think I'm not interested but please spare me definitions over the phone. I'll get down to the library next week and pick me out some little book on science and then I'll know all about mutations... (Pause)

No, you didn't insult me, but I just want you to know I'm not stupid... I just thought prevention was better than a tragedy, Mr. Goodman. I mean Matilda has enough to worry about with sterility. (She rises, picks up the phone, crosses R. and returns the phone to its shelf.) well, I was just concerned, but you've put my poor mother's heart at ease. You know, really, our high schools need more exciting young men like you, I really mean that. Really, I do. Goodbye, Mr. Goodman. (She hangs up the phone and then turns front.)