Whenever I Close My Eyes (Madam Secretary)

Secrets

"Morning." I stepped into the kitchen, dressed in a dark red dress shirt, black pants, and black pumps like it was just another day at the office. Unfortunately, it wasn't. I had a meeting at the White House to debrief the President about the debacle of Iran. He would most likely fill me in on everything that had happened here while I was away since I had hardly looked at my phone. Our meetings always ran long which was always fun on my end. Sigh. This was already going to be a long day. I knew it.

"Morning." Stevie greeted, sitting down at the table. She was already in a dark blue dress shirt and black slacks and her hair was up in a loose ponytail. A part of me wondered where that little giggling girl had gone I chased through the fields.

"You were up early this morning." Henry drew my attention back as he gave me a quick peck on the lips before stirring the eggs cooking on the stove.

"I got hungry last night and figured the couch would do so I wouldn't have to trudge back upstairs." I fibbed, casting a look around the kitchen. "Where is Alli?" I asked filling up a mug of coffee that I knew I probably wouldn't get time to drink.

"She hasn't come down yet. She mentioned something about having a big test she wanted to keep studying for." He cast a worried glance upstairs, to which I followed. Out of all my children, she was organized and always had her homework done and tests prepared. I never had to worry about her to a certain degree like I did her siblings.

"I'll be taking off around four to make it to the funeral. I'll come home, change, and pick up the kids so we can all go together."

"I'll try to make it home before we have to go. However, chances are my days will be slammed with meetings. I may have to meet you all there." Sighing deeply, I nursed the cup in my hand, turning so Stevie and Jason could hear me. I also tried to work a couple of deep breaths in there as I geared up for a rather busy day at work.

"Let me know and we'll adjust accordingly. It's not a big deal if we have to meet there."

"Morning." Alli rushed into the kitchen, dressed in her school uniform. She looked slightly frazzled, which was a major difference from her usual demeanor.

"Morning," I responded, peering over the rim of my cup as I watched her swipe the cereal box from its place by Jason. "Hold up. Where's the fire?"

"Sorry. It's just I have this really big test this morning in Mr. Goran's class, and I want to get there early."

"History?" Henry pulled a plate from the cabinet and dumped the eggs on the plate. I knew most of the teachers, but sometimes even I had a hard time keeping track of who taught what from year to year.

"Yeah, history." Pouring a little less than half a bowl of cereal for herself, she dug in after she poured milk into it. "He mentioned this test would be a little more than half our grade this time, and there's a rumor going around the questions aren't easy."

"You'll do fine," Jason muttered, tipping his bowl up to his lips so he could drink the leftover milk in his bowl. "You're like one of the smartest in the family."

"Well, that hurts." Stevie feigned a scoff as she pushed her chair back from the table. "Glad to know what you think of me.

"All I meant was she's smarter than most of us." Jason covered as he followed suit and placed his bowl on top of hers in the sink.

"Okay. Go get ready for school." Henry directed Jason towards the staircase and both he and Stevie disappeared around the corner. "Like your brother said, I'm sure you'll do great."

"Thanks, Dad," Alli stated, not turning around. Instead, she continued to eat four more bites of cereal and got up from the table. "What?" It was weird for us to be standing around the kitchen. On the other hand, I knew I needed to get going but I couldn't go without at least trying to talk to her before leaving the house.

"Want to tell me what's going on right now?" She shrugged at me like she didn't know or didn't care to share her secrets and dumped the contents of her cereal into the garbage disposal. "Dad told me Stevie mentioned where I was."

"I kind of feel guilty we used the silly string to deflect Jason from knowing where you were." Stacking her bowl on top of the others, she turned to look at me. "He ended up walking into the kitchen after Dad found out Stevie and I knew."

"The silly string is a good tradition. Although you know I love creaming your brother with silly string just as much as anyone else," I teased as I took in a deep breath to broach a deeper subject. "I just want to make sure you knowing where I am isn't going to cause you to stress or worry--"

"I will always worry about you, just like I know you worry about me." She sighed heavily as she walked a few feet to the island and slumped against it. "I have to admit it was pretty scary knowing where you were, but I think I'm okay with it now. The news reported you were there anyway, so at least we don't have to hide it from Jason anymore."

"No, you don't." Crossing my hands over her, she leaned into me as I placed a kiss on the side of her forehead and released her from my grasp. "But I thank you anyway for keeping my secret. He may not know it yet, but he's lucky to have a sister like you." It was true. Jason may be the only boy in a sea of girls--no doubt he had his fair share of Barbies, nail polish, and hair salons growing up--but he was fortunate to have two sisters who always tried to protect him. Sometimes I wondered if he knew how privileged he was to have them in his life.