Us Against The World

Chapter 19

"So that's why you wouldn't shoot me." I ask and Jexton turns to me and tilts his head. "What do you mean?" he asks and I stare at the ground as we walk. "Because you knew." 

"Knew what?" I look over at him. "That there was more to me." he tilts his head more and I smile. "You couldn't kill me because you knew that you'd be alone. You knew that there was something about me that was too important." Jexton nods slightly, but doesn't make a face.

"I didn't kill you because I need you." he says, and I tilt my head. I open my mouth to speak, but he shakes his head. I would tell him everything I'm thinking, but I still don't trust him enough yet.

When we finally got all the way back to the CDC, we made our way to the bodies to collect whatever they had left that would be useful to us. "Ugh!" I shout and cover my mouth with the sleeve of Jexton's jacket that I'm wearing. I forgot that he had given me this jacket and I'm surprised he hasn't taken it back yet. "God, this smell awful!" I yell and Jexton covers his face as well. "Just cover your nose and search them." his muffled voice orders and I nod and do as he says. 

I kneel down and grab my bag from the sidewalk where i had been standing when Jexton's father held me hostage. I stand and walk over to the lined up dead soldiers and kneel by one of them. I take the pistol and ammunition from the soldier and stuff it into my bag along with his bullet proof vest. I do the same with the other soldiers, the ones Jexton hasn't cleared yet, then walk over to my mother. 

I give myself some more grieving time, but I don't touch her. Instead, I remove her apron and sweater and place them over her face. I pick some of the daisies nearby and place them on her chest. "I'll be at home, mama. I love you." I say before standing. When I turn around, I find Jexton with his head down and his hands entwined together. I smile at his respectfulness. 

"Let's get out of here." I say softly and he looks up. His eyes are big and he looks calm. He nods and re-positions the bag on his shoulders and begins to follow me. Silence creeps up from behind, forcing us to go into deep thought with no words. I almost feel bad for Jexton because I don't think he's a bad person, but just under the influence of his father and forced to do all the things he did.

I can see that Jexton is just as much of a sensitive person as I am. His father ruined a lot of things for him such as friendships, I can tell, and made him look like a bad person. I know that now. I still don't trust him as much as I know I should, but I can see and feel what he's feeling. I understand him. I just hope he feels the same way about me.

"So how far away is your house?" Jexton asks, breaking my swift thoughts. I snap back into reality and focus my eyes on the road in which we're walking. It's about half a mile past the gates. Can you hang on that long?" I ask and he nods. 

"Yeah, I'm just really tired." I nod and we continue walking in silence. The thing I'm most looking forward to his being home. Sleeping in my own bed and eating at my table. I can't wait to sit on the couch again and read peacefully. I miss home, and I'm overjoyed that I finally get to go back. 

But what I'm nervous about is Jexton being with me. I feel as if I won't be able to sleep peacefully if he's in the sanctuary that I call safe. Home. What if he tries something? We're both restless, but how do I know he won't try to kill me the moment I close my eyes and drift off into a much needed sleep? All the things that could go wrong flood my head and I try to shake them out. 

We walk past the community gates once again, only this time as quickly and sneaky as possible. Jexton and I sigh of relief when we realize that nobody saw us, and continue on our long walk back to my house.

We have been walking for about two and a half hours with some rest and eating breaks in between, and I know that neither of us have ever been so exhausted in our lives. My legs begin to hurt and I know that I will collapse if I do not sleep soon.

After another thirty minutes of walking, we finally make it to my house. I almost fall to my knees and kiss the welcome mat, but I know I will make a fool of myself if I do. 

I grab the doorknob and to my surprise it's unlocked. Then I remember that a rule was that nobody is allowed to lock their doors due to monthly house checks. 

When we get inside, I walk straight to my room and throw my dirty bag on my bed. I almost cry at the sight and familiar smell of the house that I had missed so much. I walk around my room then back out to the living room when Jexton was standing. 

"You can have this room." I say, pointing at the guest bedroom. There is only one matress on the floor and the dresser was mine when I was a baby. I feel a little bad for making Jexton stay in here, but I don't want him in my mom's room and I definitely don't want him in mine. 

Jexton politely nods and walks into the room and sets his stuff down. "You can unpack and I'll put the food away." I say and Jexton says "Okay." he hands me all the food he had in his bag and I take all that I had and put it in the correct spot in the kitchen. As I place the drinks into the fridge, I see a small note taped to the handle. I pull it off and squint as I read the words.

Farrah,

        I know that if you come home, the first thing you will do is grab something to eat, and that's why I put this note here so that you would see it. I want you to know that I love you and I'm sorry for all the things I have done to make you run away from home. When I noticed you were gone, I broke down and my first instinct was to come find you. If you see this, stay home. I'll be back soon enough. 

                                                                                     Love, mom