The Photographer

I Have To

I got up on Monday morning and got dressed for school. I pulled my hair back and looked in the mirror. I looked terrible.

I grabbed my bag and went to school. Whatever you do don't talk to Hikaru. You're just a distraction. You're dragging him down. I told myself as I walked into the school.

I walked into class and sat in the back corner. I watched as my friends came in. No one talked to me.

No one talked to me all day. I've been a loner. But now I have to go to the Host Club. I have to tell Kyoya I can't be the photographer anymore.

I walked in and everyone but the twins were in there. I ran to Kyoya.

"Oh. Hello, Kairi." He said.

"I can't be the photographer anymore." I said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I-I just can't. I'm sorry." I said.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. Will you still be at the club?" he asked.

"No. You won't be seeing much of me for a long time I'm afraid." I said. All hosts eyes were on me. I started to tear up.

"I can't come back. I'm sorry." I said.

"Are you sure Kairi-chan?" Honey asked.

"Yes Honey. But don't worry. You'll see me again someday." I said and he hugged me. I hugged him back then hugged all of the hosts.

"Goodbye." I said and as I turned to leave the twins walked in. No.

"Kairi." Hikaru said. I looked at the ground. 'Worthless girl.' I thought.

He walked over to me but I walked towards the door. He grabbed my arm.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Why are you ignoring me?"

"I-I have to." I said softly.

"No. You don't. Talk to me. Tell me why you're doing this." He pleaded. I pulled my arm away from him.

I started towards the door again.

"Kairi! Please!" he called. "Why?!"

"Because I'm just a distraction. I'm just a worthless girl. You deserve a beautiful girl of a wealthy family. Not me to drag you down." I said. I still could t look at him.

"You are not worthless." He said.

"I am. And I can't see you anymore." I said shakily.

"But Kairi! I love you! Doesn't that mean anything?" he said. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I love you too. But I can't see you anymore." I said and ran out the door.

I heard someone chase after me but I kept running. When I got outside whoever was chasing me caught me. I turned. Kauru.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What I have to." I said.

"You don't want to though. So what's going on?" he asked.

"I'm worthless. Hikaru deserves better." I said.

"That's not your reasoning. What's going on?" he said. I sighed.

"You're father told me to stay away from him." I said.

"He said all those things about you. Didn't he?" Kauru said. I nodded.

"Don't do this to Hikaru. Please." He begged.

"I have to." I said and walked away. I heard all the hosts come out to stand with Kauru. I heard low voices.

"He did what?!?!" I heard Hikaru. I ran home.

I locked myself in my room and did my homework. Trying to keep my mind off Hikaru. I finished and then laid there. For hours it seemed. I was getting more calls from Hikaru. I ignored them all.

As much as it kills me to do this. I have to.