Niall's Cancer Battle: A 1D Fanfic

Chapter Four: Confirming the Worst

Chapter 4

**Niall's POV**

My eyelids flutter open and I wake up in the same white-walled room. I don't remember what happened before I fell asleep, but I have memories of a vivid dream in my head. Images of a woman filled with cockroaches fill my mind and feel the hairs on my body stick up. The image is just so revolting...

"Nialler! You're awake! We were starting to think we'd never see those blue eyes again!" I turn my head to look at the group of four boys in the room. Harry's got his cheeky smile on his face and I know it was him that had just made the smart remark. Even though I know he's joking, I can't help but feel slightly annoyed at his joke. Death wasn't something I liked to joke about.

'Woah, Irish boy! Where's that smile?" Zayn says with a quiet chuckle. I sit up in the bed and look at them all. Their faces are hiding something from me and I can't help but wonder what.

"What's wrong with me?" I ask. I don't hesitate and I don't beat around the bush. I just ask.

The boys give each other glances, silently discussing something I can't hear from where I'm sitting. Zayn glances at me more often than the others and I know he's probably the one making the toughest decisions. He's always been a bit more protective over me than any of the rest of them. I was beginning to get impatient just waiting here. Finally, they turn to look at me as Liam gets up.

"I'm going to get the doctor. It's better if you hear it all from him," Liam says, his voice lacking any type of enthusiasm or excitement. It was just a bland monotone that had me worrying more than I ever have before. He walks out of the room and I watch his back until he's disappeared out the door.

I'm speechless and confused. My mind just won't wrap around whatever is happening.

The door reopens and Liam walks in with a doctor following behind him. My stomach clenches at the sight of the tired look on the doctor's face. He's been stressing about something.

"Hello Mr. Horan," he smiles at me but I want to hide from his gaze. His look is devoid of any sign of real hope. It's like he's looking at me and I'm dead.

"What's up doc?" I hold in my laughter as I reference Bugs Bunny. This was a serious place and I doubt anyone had any real sense of humor in them.

"It's not good news Niall," he says with a sigh. I move to sit on the edge of the bed so that I can look him straight. The paper below my butt crinkles as I move.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, there are multiple tests that have been done, and it's more than likely that it's what I believe it to be. But I don't want you to start freaking out just yet-"

"Just tell me!" I yell a bit loudly, interrupting the doctor who just keeps rambling. Seriously, how did this guy even get into the medical field if he won't just tell me what's going on? The doctor just sits there wringing his hands together and finally he looks me straight in the eyes.

"It's cancer...I'm sorry Niall. You have pancreatic cancer." The words fall from the doctor's lips like stones, heavy and solid. Real.

I feel my heart stutter as I sit staring at the doctor in front of me. My feet dangle off the edge of the hospital bed and I feel like a child suddenly. A child who had been told there was no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the tooth fairy. A child who had been warned about eating too many sweets before dinner. A child who simply didn't know what was going to happen to them as their life progressed.

I sit here on crinkled paper, on top of a hard hospital bed, not knowing if I'll even be able to experience the life I've just started.

"Niall, I'm sure we can get procedures done to help you," Liam says but I'm hardly listening. A loud whooshing noise is in my ears and my brain just keeps fuzzing out.

"No." That one word has my attention focused on the doctor. He's shaking his head and staring at the ground. "No, there aren't any procedures that we can do. The cancer has spread throughout his system by now, and removing all the developing tumors is impossible." The doctor says and I can feel tears pricking my eyes. They're burning but I don't dare wipe at them.

"Nothing can be done?" I whisper out and I realize I've been pulling at the paper underneath me, bits of pieces are littering the ground now.

Louis is crying and holding Harry around the waist, burying his face into his shirt. Harry's tears are falling unshamelessly down his face. I can't even get myself to look at Zayn who has wandered over to the far corner of the room. Liam looks more angry than anything.

"You're a doctor and you can't do ANYTHING?! You're telling me that Niall is just going to die and there's nothing we can do to stop it? WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU? DO YOU EVEN CARE? HOW COULD YOU STAND THERE AND JUST NOT EVEN SHOW ANY TYPE OF EMOTION?!" Liam is on his feet screaming now, his face red as a tomato. His fists are clenched at his sides and I know he's restraining himself from smashing things.

But the thing is, I can't even find my own emotion in this state. I mean sure, I was upset about dying but I feel numb. I don't feel the need to scream at the doctor or smash my fists against inanimate objects. I can't even feel my tears that I know are rolling down my face. I feel nothing.

"Mr. Payne. Pancreatic Cancer is often discovered at a late stage. Cancer doesn't show any signs until it's nearing the final stages. I'm sorry but-"

"SORRY?! YOU'RE SORRY?! BUT YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO HELP HIM OUT?!" Liam screams at the doctor suddenly in his face. They are both of equal height but Liam has more muscle mass on him, and that muscle was making itself well known right now. His arms were practically doubling in size as he clenches his fists tighter to a point that they're stark white.

"I'm a doctor not a miracle worker. I suggest you all leave before I call security. Niall doesn't need to be here anymore but I suggest you keep an eye on him for anymore signs of it worsening," the doctor says as he steps back from Liam who is still fuming.

He starts leaving and I make myself get off the bed. I swerve a bit and the boys reach out to catch me, but I'm steady. "Doc?" I say and he turns back around to face me. I look him in straight in the eyes and take in a deep breath. "How long do I have?" I ask and my stomach flops as if that one question makes everything more concrete.

The doctor stands there for a moment, his eyes focused solely on me. Watching me. "Six months. If you're lucky you may get a year," he says quietly then turns away and leaves.

The silent click of the door as it closes feels like my fate being closed off and decided. I wasn't going to turn nineteen next year. I wasn't going to marry the princess of my dreams. I wasn't going to be a part of One Direction. The only thing I was going to be is dead.

Author's Note:

Thank you so much for reading. Please leave any feedback and don't forget to vote/etc! (: This story is breaking my own heart...