All those times I had felt happy and angry and everything with Dinah, it compared nothing to now. I would have given anything to have a snark come out of her cold lips. To have her eyes burn with anger. To have her heart beating correctly without machienes and oxygen fillin her lungs without the need of help.
But it just wouldnt work.
I screamed at her and cried and then screamed some more. It went on for hours and hours and hours. The steady dead beat of her heart through the monitor. Her skin freezing to the touch. I paced around her hospital room. My eyes were puffy and red but I couldnt seem to find a reason to care.
Selena had gone home long ago. It had only been two days but I was impatient. I couldnt even bare to look at her body. To look at her skin. I kept my eyes away from bloody scars and focused on her cold hands and relaxed muscles in her face. It was as peaceful as I had seen her.
That just made me angier. She had to wake up and she would.
"Dont do this Dinah." I said anger and saddness searing my words. My voice was hoarse and raspy from all the crying and screaming Id done.
"Its up to you. I know it. You live or you die. I remember when Selenas mom was in a coma. The doctors to,d her the same thing. This is your choice. To live or to die. I cant live without you. I was alseep and you woke me up. You brought me to life. You showed me how to love long after Id forgotten. Just wake up goddammit!"
Nothing.
Im about ready to smack her before it happens.
Her heart rate speeds. It soars so much Im afraid it might burst.
But its not me.
"How heart warmming."
