During Nights

Poetry

"...And that's how I got this little scar in the middle of my chest.'' I said and pointed to the place between my two breasts. It was barely visible but Nathan of course observed it  while he was pounding into me and asked me about it after we were done fucking like two crazed animals.

'' And you still believe that cats are the cutest animals on the planet?'' He raised an eyebrow and looked at me from his side of the bed.

I was facing him, my back to the door and my feet next to his head on the pillow.

''They are!!! How could you even question that Mr.Donafuckorio?'' And I let out a loud laugh, remembering that name and he just smirked and rolled those green eyes of his. ''Oh my god... At first I really thought you were some gangster or like some Narcos shit! Well, you can't blame me because you said and I quote: the last person who talked to me that way is no longer breathing... Is that even real?'' I asked my smile widening. And he rolled his eyes again , clearly it was all bullshit. when he was about to speak and blurt out some poor excuse I bursted laughing my naked butt off. ''You were totally bullshitting me!! Aha! You really were running low on the pussy department...Have you ever had a girlfriend before, Nathan?'' I was beyond amused by then.

''I had a girlfriend before, only one that I committed to. Other than her I just fucked and bought them whatever they needed so they would stay away from me .'' He said as he took a small pack of cigarettes from the drawer in his night stand and brought one to his pink full lips and burned its tip, a scent of smoke tickled my nostrils and I inhaled it, sighing.

''Oh I would stick around if you fucked me and bought me what I needed... why only one girl then?'' I asked as I stretched my arm and stole the cigarette from his lips and took in a big gulp of smoke.

''Because, Amalia, I was in love with her.'' He admitted and I coughed choking on the smoke but mostly his words.

''You?...'' I cleared my throat and asked again ''You were in love?...How?'' I didn't believe it. He was more soft than he let on.

''What do you mean how?'' He said as he took another cigarette, leaving the old one for me. Oh how we both looked erotic on a king sized bed, naked and smoking...

''How do you know that you're in love?'' I breathed out as I brought my bare knees to my chest and hugged them. He sighed and looked at the sailing above us, blowing the smoke of the cigarette in the small air of the room.

''When you are willing to share yourself with her, equally. When you look her in the eyes and see the reflection of yours. When you're happy, not because she is happy,No. But because you know you were the one who made her happy.'' Why was my heart beating so fast at his words? And why was he looking at me so intensely? ''How do you know you're in love?''

I took a moment to think of it. To really give it some thought. After all I became cynical when life showed its true features , I was suddenly aware of my emotions and how to control them. But when it came to this man... I stretched my legs in front of me and cocked my head to the side and giggled:

''When he makes me fall in love with myself.''

Because the hardest thing to love is yourself, and when someone is capable of showing you how amazing of a person you are, then he is the right one.

There was it again that sharp stare of his, as if he was not believing I was there, with him.

''You're so great with expressing yourself you don't need so many words.'' He closed his eyes and smiled as if he was thankful for something...someone. Me?