Chapter Thirteen

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{Jay's POV}

I went back to my old house alone today. I grabbed my old passports and things. I wasn't sure where I was going to be honest. I still had a few days to figure it out. As I drove back to the hotel I decided to stop by the Starbucks.

I grabbed my hot chocolate and headed for the exit while checking my phone.

"Shit. Oh my god. I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking. I'll pay for that." A thick Australian accent apologized.

I don't know why. But it was as if everything about my current situation just came crashing down on me, like a dam broke inside me. I had that hot feeling in my eyes and I knew I was about to cry. I didn't even care that I had a huge ass coffee stain on my shirt. I didn't care that the stranger's coffee was burning me. I didn't care that it was rude to not even acknowledge him. I turned around and ran out of Starbucks. I sat in my car and began crying. This was unfair. This whole situation was fucking unfair. My parents kicked me out, then I relapse, then I lose my best friend, and now I can't stop feeling like everyone is trying to use me. Now what? What the hell is going to happen now? I felt myself begin to hyperventilate. Oh god. I'm having a panic attack. I heard the car door open and close. What? I looked up with blurry vision. Someone was in my fucking car. Holy shit. What do I do now? Should I even care anymore?

I wiped my eyes and I could see more clearly who it was. I've never seen this guy in my life. He was blonde and wore his hair in a quiff. He had blue eyes and a lip ring. If I was being honest, he was really attractive.

"Woah. Are you okay? What's wrong? I um, I-I didn't mean to scare you. And I'm sorry for spilling my drink on you a-a-and um, causing you to spill your drink. I just. Um. I-I bought you a new one. Um.." he stuttered and gestured to the hot chocolate. "I just. You seemed so upset. And I went to look for you. I saw you in your car. I- here." he blushed handing me the drink. Oh. He was the Australian accent.

I took the drink from his hand and put it in the cup holder. I took a deep shaky breath. I wiped the stray tears from my eyes and face. I probably looked like a mess right now. And in front of this stranger. What was he still doing in my car?

"Oh. I'm Luke." he introduced after an awkward silence. "So. Um. Where are you going?" he continued after I didn't respond.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

"Like you're lost?" he asked confused.

"No. Like I don't fucking have anywhere to go!" I practically screamed as tears pricked my eyes. What's the point? He had already seen me cry. I let them fall freely. Luke frowned and hesitantly leaned in. Pulling me into a comforting and tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him craving the comfort.

"Well, now you have me. Come on, you're going to stay with me and the boys. Okay? Luke said firmly.

"Okay, I just have to get my stuff." I hoarsely whispered.

"Yeah. Of course. But there's no way that I'm letting you drive like this. I took a cab here so don't worry.

Just tell me where to go. Yeah?" Luke reassured as he took the keys.

I nodded and gave him directions to the hotel.

Hey. Are any of the guys at the hotel? I texted Shawn.

Nope. Just me. I'll be waiting in my room. I have all of your stuff. I just wanted to say goodbye. He responded almost immediately.

I smiled sadly. I'm going to miss Shawn so much. And Matt. Oh god... Nothing will ever be the same without Matt again. We dated for around a month. But I didn't do anything but cause drama and problems for him. It's better this way.

Every once in a while on the drive to the hotel, Luke would glance over at me to make sure I was alright. He probably thought I was insane.

He parked the car and looked over at me when we got to the hotel.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

I nodded and unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Let's go." I whispered.

I knocked on Shawn's hotel room. I heard footsteps and the door opened to reveal a red eyed Shawn. I ran into his arms and hugged him fiercely.

"I'm so sorry. But I have to do this."

"I-I know, yeah. I just, I love you. And I'll miss you like crazy. Nothing will be the same with you gone." Shawn tried to speak, his voice thick with tears.

Shawn looked up and noticed Luke for the first time. He stood awkwardly in the corner.

"Who's this?" Shawn questioned.

"A friend. I-I have to go. Before the guys get back. Tell Matt I'm sorry." My voice cracking as I felt my eyes tear up once again. God. How do I still have any tears left?

I hugged Shawn one last time and turned to grab my stuff. I had footsteps running down the hall. And some yelling. I heard a short click. I froze. The door swung open. Matt.

"Oh my god, Jay! I was worried sick all your stuff was gone and I thought you lef-" Matt abruptly stopped as her looked at Luke and I with my bags.

"You're leaving me? When were you going to tell me?! Has this entire relationship meant nothing to you that you're leaving me for another guy just like that?" Matt yelled angrily with desperation in his eyes.

"He's just a friend." I mumbled.

"Oh yeah, sure! Just a fucking friend. That's why you couldn't tell me you were leaving? I thought you loved me!"

"Shut the fuck up! Don't you dare accuse me of shit. You know nothing about me!" I shot back anger taking over my body.

"Yes I do!"

"Then why have you not realized that I've been cutting myself up for weeks?! Why have you not realized how I've been so ridiculously fucked up?! I'm in fucking Florida wearing a hoodie every single fucking day, and you have never noticed!" I screamed.

Silence. Matt's face grew sad and ashamed.

Before he could say anything I grabbed my bag and Luke's hand.

"I'm leaving." I announce coldly.

"But, where does that leave us? I love you."

"Don't you see? There is no us anymore." I spoke every heartbreaking word clearly.

I walked out the door with Luke slamming it.

"I THOUGHT SHE LOVED ME" I heard Matt scream through the door.

I felt a tear roll down my face and whispered, "I do Matt, more than you'll ever know."

(an// i'm actually really proud of this. this is probably the best chapter i've written so far in my opinion.)

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