I Promise (A Matthew Epinosa Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twenty One

{Jay's POV}

What am I supposed to tell the guys? They're going to be so pissed if they find out that I'm choosing between Matt and Luke. They'll think I'm playing around with him or something- but I'm not. They just wouldn't understand. Ugh. What do I do? Maybe I just won't tell them. Maybe just Shawn and Hayes? But if they found out the truth, they would be so pissed at me. Ugh. I'll just deal with this tomorrow I guess. But I'm definitely telling Hayes and Shawn everything tonight. They're my best friends. How could I not tell them?

{Matt's POV}

I heard a knock at my door and perked up. Maybe it was Jay. I went to answer it and was immediately met by all of the boys. Well, except Hayes and Shawn. "What? What are you guys doing here?"
"We need to talk," stated Gilinsky stepping inside with the other guys.
"Okay.?" I sat down, still confused.
"Look man. We don't want you to freak out. But Jay is here." Carter said.
"Oh, yeah. I know." I replied happily, now less confused.
The boy's quickly exchanged looks. Now they were the ones confused.
"Huh? Wait, what? You know? So why aren't you freaking out?" Aaron questioned.
"Oh. It's a long story. But basically Jay and I kissed. So she's choosing between Luke and I. So she's staying and trying to give me a chance. Because she still loves me too. Guys, I'm going to get Jay back." I explained getting excited as my eyes lightened up.
"Oh. Okay. Cool. How long is she staying?" Nash asked casually.
"I don't know. A few days at least I think."

{Nash's POV}

This is such bullshit. Choosing between the two? Don't get me wrong, I love Jay to death, but she can't just play Matt like that again just to leave. It's going to break him. He already wasn't doing good at all before, but I have no idea what this will do to him. I have to talk to Jay about this.
"Yo, guys. I can't be the only one pissed at Jay for this bullshit, right?" I asked the others once we had left Matt.
"No, I agree. We have to talk to Jay. This shit isn't right." Carter replied. The others nodded or showed some sort of agreement.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go now." Taylor chimed in.
We made our way to Hayes's room where Jay was staying.
Jay answered the door. "Hey guys, what's up? I thought y'all were leaving?"
We walked in and sat on the opposite bed.
Cameron sighed. "Jay, what the hell are you doing with Matt?" he asked.
She looked at us confused. "What are you talking about?"
"We're talking about you kissing him and then staying so you can 'choose' between Matt and Luke. That's pretty fucked up. And we all know that the only person that's going to get hurt is Matt." Johnson ranted.
It was sort of- blunt, but we all agreed. I saw Carter and Taylor nod out of the corner of my eye. The others gradually started to agree with Johnson as well. Jay looked down.
"No. Guys. That's not it. You don't get it. I do love Matt. I do. But things got so bad with him and I met Luke- things were so easy with Luke and permanent I guess. But then I saw Matt again and he kissed me. And- guys I love him so so much.I just, don't know. What if history repeats itself with Matt? But I'm just not okay without him. I don't know." Jay stuttered out.
"Not okay? That's why you're doing so great with your boyfriend and going on tour, away from Matt?" Taylor accused.
Wow. That was a little uncalled for. It was harsh, but I was thinking it too.
"You don't get it.."Jay tried to defend in a small voice.
"Then explain." Carter cut off.
Jay sighed and looked at us pleadingly. She sighed again when she didn't get a response from us. She began to lift up her hoodie and take off her leggings. Why was this necessary?
My eyes widened. And so did all of the others.
"I'm not okay. I never was." Jay whispered tears streaming down her face.
She was covered in scars. They were everywhere. Her arms, stomach, waist, thighs. There were so many cuts. New and old. Some of them were so deep. Not only that, but she was so thin. Her ribs were her most dominant feature. And her hip bones. What happened to her? She was literally just skin and bone. Jay was already skinny before, but now she looked as if she hadn't eaten since I saw her last, three months ago. Fuck. "Jay, when's the last time you've eaten?" I demanded.

{Jay's POV}

"Jay, when's the last time you've eaten?" Nash demanded.
I couldn't tell them the truth. They would make me eat. I would be fatter than I already was.
"J-jay.." I heard someone gasp from behind the other boys. Matt.
I scrambled to get my hoodie back on and pulled up my leggings as quickly as I could.Matt wasn't supposed to see that.
"Fuck. Matt. No. You need to leave. I-I'm fine." I stuttered out, wiping away stray tears.
"Jay, what happened to you? Why would you do this to yourself?" Matt asked, his voice thick with tears.
"Everyone except Matt has to leave. Now." I demanded.
"Jay, I'm sorry. We didn't mean t-"
"Get the fuck out!" I screamed, cutting Cameron off.
One by one everyone filed out of the room until only Matt and I remained.
"Jay, why?" He asked again.
"Because I'm not okay. I'm not." I replied in a shaky voice.
Matt walked over to me closing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around me.
"I can make you better than okay, Jay." Matt whispered kissing me. I melted into his arms and happily kissed him back. I missed Matt so much.It felt so right being with him. Matt and I decided to head back to his room. We cuddled for hours and just watched movies and chilled together the way we used to before all of this happened.

{Carter's POV}

"Do you think Jay is forreal?" Taylor asked.
I rolled my eyes at him and scoffed. "Of course she is dumbass. She's not a sociopath. She didn't just show us all of that for the fun of it." I answered.
We all agreed that Jay was here for the right reason. To be with Matt again. Of course her tour with 5SOS and One Direction made it difficult, and Luke, and the fact that she was crazy famous now. But, I don't know. I was always a huge supporter of Jay and Matt. Part of me felt like they were always meant to be together. I checked the time. Damn, already two in the morning?
"Hey guys, it's pretty late. I'm going to head back to my room." I announced. We all said our goodbyes.
I unlocked Matt and I's room and walked in. The TV dimly lit the room. I looked around and saw Matt cuddled up with Jay. They must have fallen asleep while watch TV. I chuckled to myself. Yeah, definitely rooting for them together. I turned the TV off and went to sleep.

{Jay's POV}

I woke up the next morning feeling guilty as fuck. What the hell am I going to do about Luke?