I Promise (A Matthew Epinosa Fan Fiction)

Chapter Sixteen

{Shawn's POV}

I woke up to my phone buzzing next to me. I groggily picked my head up and checked it. Someone was trying to FaceTime me. I didn't know the number but something told me that I should answer. I dragged the green answer button across the screen. The sleep immediately left me when I realized who was on the screen. A beautiful face that I haven't seen in so long.

"Hey Shawn I've missed you." A fuzzy voice said to me.

I smiled as my eyes fogged up with tears.

"I've missed you too baby. More than you'll ever know. How are you doing? How's Luke treating you? I heard you guys are going on tour with One Direction. You're even singing. That's so amazing. I always knew you had an amazing voice. Too bad we never got to do a collab. Why the new number and stuff?" My voice became thick with happy tears as I stopped my rambling.

Jay's melodious laugh rang out as I wiped away a stray tear.

"Awh. Shawn don't cry. It's okay baby. I love you lots. I'm doing great. It's amazing. And Luke and the others are doing great. This is such a great opportunity for 5 SOS. Hey, who knew they were even a band? Haha. They're treating me great. Luke and I are official. And the new number was part of a fresh start. You know? And once I become known, my number isn't just out there. Plus, Luke and the others insisted on adding me to their plan and pulling me from my family line." Jay explained.

I grinned. But the happiness was bittersweet. It was great seeing Jay again but I couldn't hug her and kiss her on the forehead like I used to. I couldn't hold her in my arms and just enjoy the content silence.

Jay sighed and I know she must be thinking the same thing.

"We'll have to meet up. Maybe if I'm near you on tour." Jay thought out loud.

"Or I could come to you." I finished.

Jay's eyes brightened. "You could visit me on tour! Even stay for a couple days. I'm sure we have extra sleeping spaces and no one would mind." Jay sped up getting more excited.

I laughed and promised her I would. She had to go though for some tour meeting so I said my goodbyes.

"Remember, I love you lots." Jay reminded as she blew a kiss.

I mock catched the kiss and blew one back. "And I love you." I waved before hanging up.

"You were talking to Jay weren't you." I heard Matt mumble as he stepped into my room. "Your door was open and yeah. I heard you." Matt's dull eyes bored into me. It was as if he was emotionless. And then all at once he snapped.

"She left me! Because of you! I was happy with her. She is my fucking everything and now she's gone because of you! Do you really hate me that much? She loved me! Loved! As in fucking past tense and it's your fault. CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I NEED HER. THAT I LOVE JAY MORE THAN ANYTHING. AND NOW SHE'S PERFECTLY FUCKING HAPPY WITH THAT LUKE GUY WHO'S JUST SO FUCKING PERFECT AND CAN DO NO WRONG. AND ME? I'M LOST WITHOUT JA-"

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP MATTHEW. WAS JAY HAPPY? WAS SHE? NOT LIKE YOU WOULD'VE KNOWN. SHE DIDN'T EAT, DIDN'T SPEAK. SHE WORE HOODIES ALL THE TIME IN FLORIDA. FUCKING FLORIDA MATT. SHE COULDN'T EVEN SMILE, AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH HER?! THEN YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE. WHO WAS THERE DURING HER PANIC ATTACKS AND WHEN SHE CUT AND WHEN SHE JUST NEEDED SOMEONE THERE FOR HER? NOT YOU, ME! I DIDN'T MAKE HER LEAVE. I HELPED SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAVE INEVITABLY HAPPENED MATT. WHEN WILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOU HEAD?!" I panted and I yelled at Matt with everything I had in me. I was never one to yell, but I couldn't handle Matt yelling at me that way and accusing me. Especially when he had been so ignorant to Jay's needs. She was the one who really mattered. She loved Matt.. but she was too broken to handle the consequences that came with loving him. It broke my heart to see Matt this way, he was a brother to me. But to be accused of these things.. to say such things about Jay.. I think it justified my yelling.

I saw the other boys gathered in the room staring at us with wide eyes. Particularly me. All the yelling must've caused such a commotion.

I heard a sniffle and quickly turned to face Matt. His eyes were red and he wiped tears from his eyes. I immediately felt guilty for every word I had said.

"Man, Matt. Oh my god.. I'm so sorry. I really am Matt. She loved you. What you had was real. But none of us could have stopped her leaving. I thought, I thought it was right. Best for Jay." I apologized in hushed tones and soft spoken words.

"No, you're right. I couldn't even notice how badly my own girlfriend was hurting. Every word you said was right. I think I just need to sleep or something. I don't know. Sorry.." Matt sniffled and moped out the room.

Carter turned around to follow him. Probably to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

"Yo man, what was that?" Aaron asked walking over to me.

"Jay.. She um, FaceTimed me. She's doing great. Matt heard. Three months today. You know?" I explained.

The boys nodded in understanding except for Hayes.

"Maybe I should call her.." Hayes mumbled.

"Don't bother Hayes. She changed her number. If she wants you to have it, she'll contact you when she's ready. I promise." I comforted.

Hayes looked hurt. "But what if she's never ready? Maybe she's just done with me.." Hayes' voice grew thick with tears. "It's been three months since I've seen her too Shawn. Not just Matt. She's my best friend. Or, at least she was.." It was Hayes' turn to walk out the room and Nash went with him to comfort his brother.

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. Why was this all happening? If only Jay knew the truth about everything..