I Promise (A Matthew Epinosa Fan Fiction)

Chapter Ten

{Jay's POV}

"You'll really do it? Thanks so much. No. Jay can't find out about this." I heard Matt talking in hushed whispers.

"Baby, who are you talking to?" I asked.

He hung up the phone quickly and turned to look at me. "No one." he dismissed quickly giving me a quick kiss on the forehead, walking into the other room.

Who was this person that he had to be so secretive about? Was he cheating on me? No. He wouldn't do that. He told me he loved me. Maybe I wasn't good enough for him after all.. I felt tears well up in my eyes and spill. I hadn't felt the need to cut since Matt and I started dating. But the voices in my head just kept telling me how worthless I was. And I knew they were right...

{Shawn's POV}

Jay had been so different lately. She wasn't as outgoing anymore. She was always silent, never spoke until someone directly addressed her but even then she would be too lost in thought or something to notice. She looked so pale and lifeless now. And skinny as fuck. Her best friend was now her earphones. She spent hours alone in her room just sitting and staring at nothing. The worst part was, Matt, her own boyfriend, didn't even realize. I would never admit to anyone, but one night when all the boys went out, I decided to stay to facetime my girlfriend Nadia...

**flashback**

"Hey man, you sure you don't want to come?"Aaron asked again.

"Nah. I wanted to stay and facetime Nadia. Haven't talked to her in a while. Maybe catch up on my sleep too." I smiled and waved away dismissively.

The guys, Jada, and Cecii all gave me some sort of a goodbye and left. I started whistling as I walked back to my room.

"Why?! What the fuck did I do?" I heard someone sobbing hysterically. "Please."

Wait. I knew that voice. Jay? I heard more crying and screaming. Holy shit. Was she being hurt. I ran into the hotel room. She was curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. Her make up running down her face. I ran over to her and took her into my arms.

"What's wrong?!" I begged, asking over and over again.

Jay continued to shake her head dismissing me, saying that everything was fine. But obviously she wasn't if she was like this.

"Do you want me to call Hayes or Ma-"

"No! Please don't call him. Please." Jay begged with wide eyes.

"Okay, okay. I won't. Just, what's wrong?" I asked one final time.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I think it's time for you to leave. Thank you for everything." Jay's hoarse voice barely audible.

I shook my head firmly. I wasn't leaving her in this condition. She groaned and got up to lock the door just in case. She cleaned herself up and we cuddled together until the guys came back.

**end of flashback**

I still feel guilty for not telling any of the guys. After that day, Jay and I haven't mentioned it. But I'm worried sick about her and this isn't healthy. What do I do? Every time I tried to talk to her about it, she just ignored me or made up some excuse. But I was done with it. "Hey Jay, we have to talk." Everyone else had gone to the pool. Obviously Jay hadn't gone though. I told them that I was going to work on my new song a little bit more.

"There's nothing to talk about." her voice cracking from the lack of speaking. She started to walk away. I grabbed her wrist. She cried out in pain and fell to the ground. Shit. Did I really grab her that hard? What the fuck? Why was she bleeding? Then it clicked.

"Oh my god. No. Jay, I'm so sorry. Here. Let me help you." I picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. I grabbed the first aid kit and pulled up her sleeve. Shit. There were so many cuts. I looked her straight in the eye and pulled up her other sleeve too. That arm was covered in cuts too. I felt myself tears drop onto my hand and saw Jay crying. I also felt myself tearing up.

"Why Jay? Why? When did you start again? Does Matt know?" I asked softly.

Jay bit her lip and shook her head softly, trying to stop the tears. "I just- I feel so worthless all the time. And I don't deserve someone like Matt. I really don't. Please don't tell anyone. Please." she started panicking.

The sight of her and every word she said absolutely broke my heart. I had no idea. I embraced her in a tight hug. "I promise." I whispered.